ૐ It's just me ☼ Lee Lee ૐ ☮ ♥

I have a song I listen to from the cd Sacred Shants of Shiva.

The song is 31 minutes and it's nothing weird about it.

It's just aum aum aum music for relaxation.

And every time I listen to this it's like I go into a “trance”

that I learned from the Yoga in Thailand.

It's how it feels like when you are floating above your own body, during relaxation.

You actually leave your own body couple of centimeters up in the air.

That is one of the best feelings I know.

It's a weird feeling I can't explain but it's almost tripping me out.

The feeling you have before you sleep.

If I want to I can go to sleep within 1 minute when I listen to that song as well.

But I learned how not to.

In the middle of my “trance” I got a text from Annica and my body got into a shock.

Or something happened, my heartbeat pumped very hard

and my body were shaking for just couple of seconds.

Like someone scared me.

 

But now I have more energy then earlier today.

It's time to go to work soon and I need all the energy I can get.

I've been to the doctor this morning that's why I'm up early.

I took out my "thing" in the genital area, I don't know what is called in English.

That saves me from not getting pregnant.

I got pain killers from Fluff and that made me all Fluffy and blurry.

4 seconds of pain later and I have nothing inside my body anymore,

so next time I will have something inside my body again will be a child instead.

But it still have to wait. A LOOOONG time.

 

I've also fixed so I will go and check out new apartments next week.

And see if we can change. I'm looking forward to it a lot.

I barely can't wait. I looked online on some allready.

I've been home for 2 months today.

I've done alot allready, summer is almost "over".

Or well, it's just feels like because I've got a job again.

I'm almost on a routine again and everything I look forward

to at the moment is the Yoga in the end of the month.

New Yoga school and more practise, and most of all - practise in the morning!!!

 

No matter how I hate early mornings, the yoga in the morning makes me so awake and alert.

And when I do that I feel so god damn good.

Since I've started working again I feel alot of pain in my back, neck, legs again.

(DAMN RETAIL JOB, where u work on stone floors)

So I try to stretch, bend, meditate, focus, exercise as much as I can.

But it feels like there is no time....

 

I wish there were more hours on a day.

 

 

Today Annelie sendt me a link of JENNA.
And she said, this could be you Lee.

First I thought... well, yeah right...
But later in the video I was laughing my ass off.
And it actually could be me.

And by that I mean in a funny & Goofy way, not in a bimbo way.
Just like the girl in the video. It's just for fun.
Maybe not the same hot body though, but I live with that.
And how did Annelie know that? HAHAHA.



She is so god damn funny!

LASER CAT!

In my head I think of her more then anything else at the moment.
My baby is gone.
Some people may think that I didn't care about her.
But I did. More then ever.
But I was not able to take care of myself in that moment,
so how could I take care of someone else?
I am crying as I write this because it hurts to loose someone that have been with you for years.
And I am crying like a baby.
No matter what it is, human, cat, dog or what ever....
It's a part of you and your life and to take away a piece of you always hurts.

Before I tried to stop thinking about her because I gave her away.
I gave her away because I needed a new start in my life and by that I started to travel.
And I thought THAT was hard.
But I knew she was safe and had a good life with my cousin Patrik,
so I didn't have to worry about her.
And after a time I didn't think about it.
Or at least not so much since I had myself to take care of.

Until I came home from my second trip.
I received a phone call from my mom, yes not even from my cousin himself.
The words I waited for but never wanted to hear was like a knife in my heart.
The words I didn't want to hear, and didn't want to think of came to me.
I just answerd: WAIT!
I just wanted to think and maybe maybe maybe someone else wanted her.
But who was I fooling?
And then I received a e-mail..... and I had to make a decision.
Why me?
As I told everyone before....
PLEASE DON'T LET ME KNOW if something happens.
Just do it, don't tell me and don't ever ever ever talk about it.
But since she was marked, I had to make the decision.

So now my baby is gone. My love.
My retarded cat, wannabe dog.

MAY YOU REST IN PEACE MY BELOVED FRIEND!





I've kept your duck. Your baby. Your baby will be safe with me. :)

I walk around in my underwear for no reason.
And I sometime stand on my head, lay on the floor with the legs in the air.
Touch my belly and walk around the apartment and just lay around (the apartment)

A little bit like this...
But not exactly the same body or underwear...
I wish though ;)

http://www.gorillamask.net/index.php?show_page=video&page_id=32110

By own experience to expression "YOU CREATE YOUR OWN WORLD" is perfect.

Because if you want to be happy,

you can be happy and everyone else around you is happy as well.

You choose yourself how you are going to create your world.

It works the other way around as well so it makes perfect sense!

 

I love to ride my bike.

Because when I ride my bike I clear my thoughts and I love to live.

Or live to love.

 

For me it's therapy and the feeling I've got is priceless.

I enjoy every single moment of it and everything around me.

I am living a damn good life and I can't complain one second..

I'm also glad to have those people around me in my life that I have at the moment.

Good moments that I am going to bring with me for a long time.

And of course when you share good moments, it's always good to share it with someone else.

Then you can remember it together and bring a thing with you for years.

 

I remember when I was in Asia and I missed the summers at home.

Because I always appreciated the summers more (since I'm Swedish).

I felt lonely there and needed the comfort that I have here.

Specially from my friends at home. My place. My spot.

 

And by that I miss:

When you can call a friend in the middle of the night and ask

if you are going to take a ride together somewhere.

Throw your bikes on the grass and just lay down and talk about the world.

Or just stop somewhere and BE. Live the day like there was no tomorrow!

Bike rides when you just ride and maybe have some music with you.

You end up at a random place every time, just where it looks good at the moment.

And in that moment you realize that your friends means more to you then you knew.

Because every new spot you visit is better then the other.

And you don't even have to talk to each other during the ride because

you are so comfortable with yourself so you don't care.

 

In your head you take the moment with you as a picture you can look at and remember.

It's those small small moments you miss when you're not there.

And you know what a kick ass feeling it is what you've got at home.

 

Or if you take the bike down on empty streets in the middle of the night,

and the only person who is out is the cops haha.

The feeling that you can always hang out with anyone and do what ever you feel like doing.

A feeling of freedom and the only one to decide is yourself.

The feeling of when you have been to the club and bring your date or friends over

to take a swim in the sea in the morning sun.

You always bring your sunglasses with you when you go out and party

because the sun goes up way to early.

 

And you can do what ever you feel like doing with anyone

without having anyone that cares about it!

 

I enjoy my life to the full.

I've paid 2 websites to have my apartment out for "CHANGE".
I feel kind of stuck here in Annicas apartment and all I can think of is moving actually.
And the feeling I've got from Annica is the same.

Everything I do to make her happy, I fail with - big time!
I break things, destroy things and yes...
I am just Lee Lee as she always is = CLUMBSY!
I don't know how I do it, as soon as I touch it, it's broken!

As much as I like her apartment and to live here on Möllan and with her.
I want my own stuff. I want my own freedom and to be alone with my own things.
I want to decorate my own apartment and I am tired of living inside of a "shoe box".

But it's so god damn hard to let this apartment go.
I just want to change it, how hard can it be?
I've  been sitting on the websites for hours and nothing is happening.
I even paid for it god damn it.

We'll see how it goes.
I will go on a birthday dinner at my cousin Fanny today.

See ya'll....

I remember it so clear.
We were getting close to the marina with the boat.
I watched the dry land where you were, working.
We sailed by and got closer to the marina.
Suddenly I hear the captain talking on the phone and then I felt the boat turn around.
Straight towards you instead.
I felt how happy I was inside my stomache as we drifted your way.
And there you were, hot & sweaty.
We waved to eachother and that was enough for me.
Just to see the look of your face and your smile made me warm.

And then I started to sing HELLO with Lionel Richie....

MOBY - PORCELAIN
GROOVE ARMADA - MY FRIEND
AIR - CÉ MATIN-LÀ
BOB MARLEY - EASY SKANKING
BRAZILIAN GIRLS - PUSSY
CHRIS ISAAK - WICKED GAME
CHROMEO - NEEDY GIRL
CURTIS MAYFIELD - MOVE ON UP
LENNY KRAVITZ - AGAIN
LIONEL RICHIE - HELLO
MASSIVE ATTACK - TEARDROP
MICHAEL JACKSON - THRILLER
MOOK N FAIR - WHO'S YOUR DADDY
SISTER NANCY - BAM BAM
THE VERVE - BITTER SWEET SYMPHONY & THE DRUGS DON'T WORK
THIEVERY CORPORATION - AMERIMACKA
TINGSEK - WORLD OF IT'S OWN

What would the world be without music???

Me and my little sister Sara.

Who have many years to practise until she become perfect like me.
HAHAHA.... Or not.
But I have more then 10 years of more experience so she better catch up.
A young version of myself in that age...
Little baby girl, she have nooooo idea what's coming up!
It's going to be a suprise :)

Let the fun beging....

A day that started in my kitchen together with my mother and my little sister,
drinking irish coffee (not my sister), and playing cards.
And from there I went outside on the festival and met Magnus, Per & Malin.
An hour or 2 later, we ended up with Malin friends and the bongo-drummer player from
the band "HELT OFF", Robin was in the kitchen....
We were wondering around and dancing, looking at fire shows,
meeting people at Nyhavn and danced around with balloons.
And then sucked in all the air like cute little kids,
when they are having their fun in their own little world.
The festival on Möllan is ok to be a bit retarded on because everyone else is.
I LOVE IT!!!!!!

Then I met Fluff and his friend, walked around a bit more and tried
to dance samba with some brazilian guys from the carneval.
Later we went to Stippes and bought food.
Brought it to Ola and then we went back to Möllan and the night was a never ending story.
A bit blurry and foggy but a really excellent festival.
Like how a festival should be like. AWESOME!
The party went on when we woke up and couple of movies later
with munch and food the clock turned 22.45 and the whole sunday is gone.

If you want to se a resumé of the night....
Look at me:

Today is a day when I feel alot better.
I slept until now, and it can be because I closed
all the windows and made it all dark in the room.
It's 13.48 at the moment, yes it's a bit late... but late for what anyway?
It's nice to sleep away the time when you have been sick.
And don't hear anything from the festival outside.
Specially late at night when people are drunk.
OMG - people were nuts!!!!

But it was alot of fun to watch.
It's actually a miracle that I could walk outside the door yesterday.
And no one believed me that I was sick.
They thought it was days ago... hmm... how is it with the memory people?
It's always like that though. I never show pain.
I'm not a cry baby, and WHEN I am, I will never show myself outside or to anyone.
It was nice to see David anyway, even if it was just for a short moment.

Today I'm walking down with mom on the festival for a bit.
And then I don't know... I guess that my whole day is going to be on the festival.
My wife left me and went on vacation with her family for a week in Strömstad.
I am just taking the same steps at the moment....(not good)
And it feels like I don't exist for some people.
I am there but in the same moment, I'm not.
Bummer for them.

Right now I am just looking forward to a visit from another country.
Or just someone else. Someone new. Someone different.
Someone interesting. Someone I can learn from.
And to have my own apartment and get a normal job.
Yes, I know I have a job... but not my future job.
Well, let's start with to get some money first.....

AND GET THE FUCK OVER TO MALMÖ NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I found myself a beauty!



From Annicas cabin... Nice.



Jacuzzi time... Chillaxin'.



Lee is being a true tourist.



Just in case you forget the time....




Having fun in Vigelands park :)



the angry baby...



bam bam, lalla la bam bam...



Vigelands park



Nice.



Weid position???

Sorry, got to go... more pictures later or on facebook ;)

After 3 days away from Malmö to Copenhagen - Oslo
and back, Annica felt a bit sick on the way home.
There was something spreading on the boat.
Signs with Influenza virus around the boat didn't scare me.

When we arrived home I felt sick as well.
We went to the park and ate some salad and tried to relax.
A heavy headache came crawling slowly and we took our bikes back home again.
I trew my things in the hallway and flew in to the toilette as fast as I could.
There I spendt almost my whole night.
Both me and Annica went to bed at 21.30 and slept over 12 hours.
Accept that I spendt couple of hours at night on the toilette.
There is nothing left in my stomache and my appetite is gone.
Just looking at food makes me wanna throw up again.

I am a ZOMBIE!!!!
David just came over with movies, to make the time go faster.
Outside our window there is a festival going on.
And everyone is going. Accept me.
I have to look from the window :(
But I also have go outside to get some fresh air and move my body.
Laying down in the same position for 12 hours is not good.
I feel really stiff everywhere.
But in the same way I am really afraid, because I called in sick from work.
So, if they see me.... it ain't good.
Annica told me to go undercover! :P

Well.... Let's hope I am better until tomorrow!
C YA!

I've been thinking alot of how people act, think and behave.
Since many of you people know that I like crazy people,
but is this ok in the "normal" world as well?
In the friendship I look for, acting relaxed, responsible,
with respect to others and of course with SELF-RESPECT
is one of the biggest things I look for in a friendship.

It's the same as in a relationship.
If you don't have self-respect, you will go nowhere.
No one will love you for the one you really are!
You have to start to LOVE yourself instead.



(a picture I got from Fabian on Bali. At least I am having alot alot alot of fun here)

And love yourself without drugs or alcohol.
I see alot of troubles behind the crazy people.
The same trouble I had myself....

Some of them are hiding and they are trying to hide it with many things.
I cannot do much more then be a helping hand if they need it.
But many can also be offended if you ask them if they need it.
But it's time for me to speak up.

I cannot have friends going behind backs,
being "SLUTTY" and/or taking to much alcohol or drugs.
They have to have a relaxed side as well so I can trust those people.
It's not something I want in my life in the long term.
Having fun is no problem once in a while.
But later the "fun" is the problem to handle.

People also get the picture of ME being the same way.
If my friend is a SLUT, I am too.
But I'm not.
WAKE UP instead and most of all: WAKE YOURSELF UP!!!!!
Deal with the problems.

I am far far away from being superficial ....
My only problem is that it's hard to find nice retarded people to hang out with today....
I need a spice in my life.
But also a person who can behave and have self-respect!
Who I actually can look up to.

Couple of weeks before, I accedently killed Annicas BONSAI!
This tree needs to take a "water bath" every day. which I missunderstood.
I killed it, but we tried to help it.

It worked. Maybe I have green fingers after all?
It's on recovery at the moment, but heeeey I'm trying my best over here ;)

Today is a day of cleaning, laundry, packing and just being home and take it easy.
But I did ONE stop today, and that was to Jane, Miche, Leon and now little Eden.
I just had to see their new little baby girl.
I gave Leon 2 gifts I bought at work. :)



Aparently he allready had a glas like this, bummer.
But now he have 2!!!!!  Beat that kids!!! :P



A fake ice-cream! With bubbles inside!!!
Always fun in the summer, to blow bubbles :)

And that's it for today....
I AM GOING TO DENMARK / NORWAY tomorrow!!!

See you on thursday :)

I show you some pictures....



Tried the functions on my new camera phone.
Does anyone know this apartment?
And WHO is always watching Southpark?
Can it be MARCELLO?



Sunset, west harbour - Malmö at 21.35



Per on Magnus rooftop, nice view over Malmö :)
He kind of remind me of someone else on this picture.



Ohhh, hello little hedgehog! Or as I say in Swenglish: AJGELKOTT!
(Igelkott)



More view over Malmö from the rooftop!!!
Kronprinsen.



Mine and Annicas street, sunday 05.00 (am) = EMPTY STREET!



05.30 on the swedish roads.

What I need right now is silence and stillness.
For the last 2 days I had 9 hours of sleep.
I will go to bed soon and I will meditate before that.
I get really relaxed by my insences :)

Today I've been in Degeberga with my grandmother on a antique market.
Sold stuff and bought stuff. (I can't resist)
It's once a year, so I think I'll survive.

I came home with a new antique leather bag.
A really good deal, and it's perfect for me as well since my calender fits.
(It's so god damn big....grrrr....)





The old school phone is now MINE!!!!



My lamp. Got it from grandmaaaaa....the phone as well :)
And then I bought a pair of YIN/YANG earrings
but I am too lazy to upload a picture on them....


And there my whole sunday was gone.
I came home and I started to be a bit creative instead.
I organised everything in the kitchen.
Or at least all the food on the shelfs and made it look pretty. :)
And so both me and Annica can have more space.
Either she will love it or hate me after doing it, but there is space at least!!!

And I also made some food.
I just took a little bit of everything.
Result: AWESOME!

Chicken
Muchroom
Union
Chickpeas
Garlic mixed with greek youghurt and feta cheese
Pasta

After that I tried out Annicas blender and did myself a smoothie.
I had fresh squeezed orange juice since earlier today but I blended carrot,
banana, strawberries, soy milk and some lime with it as well.
RESULT: MAGNIFIQUE!

Aaaand, there is one more so I'll save some for tomorrow,
blend it with some protein and drink it for breakfast! :)

Now it's movie time.
Tomorrow is cleaning day!!!

What if a girl walks by in this dress?
Do you get more hungry or WHAT?
Ooohhh, burger....

As times flies by she sits with an empty look on her face.
She is confused.
The days feel the same, they are all just one big summer night in the end.
Same same but different.

Sometimes she do stuff even if she doesn't want to.
She needs to breath. She needs space.

But she lives today and she feels good.
She enjoys every single moment.
She is happy anyway, she only need a break from everything.
Somehow she is tired of this. She wants more.
She wants adventure, she wants to do different things.
She gets bored easily.
She needs fire. She needs something that blows her away.
Something that catches her and have her.
It have not been long time ago she came back but she is allready looking for more.
She can't get enough.

She is looking for something she doesn't know what it is.
It's somewhere out there. She is just going the wrong direction.
She lost herself somewhere,
she came a long way in her searching but things are not always easy.
It's a long way and she haven't even walked halfways.

She goes with the flow at the moment but normally she likes to walk the other way only
because it's harder and then you will have a mission to make, mostly for yourself.
Coming back to new friends is sometimes hard,
because it's very easy to fall back into old habits from time to time.
Like many others knows about it, many people always take an easy way out.

But, news flash: Life ain't easy and if you don't struggle a little bit, you come nowhere.
Where are all the people that are smart and wise and blow my mind away with knowledge?
I need advise. I need something to learn. I need something to do.
I think I need to shut my phone of for couple of days and just be home and think.
Or at least alone, maybe go down on Möllan and meet someone
old hippie that can blow my mind away with stories or something?

That's the only thing I miss from traveling.
All the weird people you meet, that you normally never meet.
And how you can connect with someone that is so different compares with yourself.
How easy it starts to get to read people, how they work and how they act.

But in the end, we are all the same.
I am looking forward to the end of summer when I maybe get a visit from another country.
No expectations, if it happens I just get happy and lucky!

Until then I have to survive here and... wait.

And so it is, just like you said it would be.

Life goes easy on me. Most of the time.

And so it is. The shorter story, no love no glory.

 

In the early morning she rides her bike home through town.

She is dead tired but yet so awake.

She looks up into the sky. The sun is going up.

She drives by the annoying seagulls on the way.

On the way she sees some early morning joggers in the park.

She smiles. Otherwise the streets are empty.

People are sleeping.

The cold morning wind went through her hair as she rides a bit faster.

She feels the power of freedom when she speeds up her bike and listen to the music.

She visualise that she is somewhere else.

She visualise her self on the motorbike in a land far far away.

 

She wishes that he was here.

She wants to enjoy days like this with him because she knows that he would

love it and see the satisfaction in someone else is bigger then have the satisfaction yourself.

 

No matter how hard she tries, he will always be there inside her head.

And there is no one that can replace him.

She tries hard, but she fails.

 

There is just one little piece of him that is left there.

She wonder why. You tell me?

There is no answer of this.

But what they shared and went trough she can't erase or replace.

She still has a arrow in the back, hurting and bleeding.

 

She tried to take it out but somehow it's still stuck.

And yet not ready to be pulled out.

She says goodnight (or morning)

to her friends and then she rides away, alone – with him inside the head.

She can hide him for a long time but in the end she looks him up and he is still there.

He is like a screw that you can screw on and never goes away, it's that annyoing!

 

Now I have to ask YOU, do you miss her smell??

 

Playing summer songs on Spotify.
Peps Persson fits in really good at the moment.
Old old old swedish music.
Peps is a legend when it comes to swedish reggae.
And he is still in the game after all these years!!!

It's hot hot hot and I wear a summer dress with flowers.
I enjoy the sun and I was just down at the market at the square
and bought vegetables and fruits.
I also went by the asian store again and bought some soy things I had when I was in Thailand.
I start working 15.00 today, just couple of hours and then I will continue and enjoy the sun.
Maybe even take a night dip in the ocean tonight?

If you see this and you want to join me, give me a call.
I am looking forward on tuesday when I am going on the ferry
that Annica works on and spend time with her for 3 days.
Chill out in a hot tub on deck in the sun on a big cruise ship is not bad eh!?
Wow, I can't wait!!!!

Peace out

Today I had people looking at me when I was riding my bike.
Some girls (young) went by my bike and talked about my bicycle basket.
That was fun :)
Myself had a band around the head, shorts,
my silver pilot sunglasses and a  top with flowers on it.
It is summer and I think it's pretty, so why not?



I may have been looking like a hippie. But that is just nice right? :)
As I was driving around on my way home I actually felt a bit hippie.
Mostly because I left my bikini at Marcello
when we were out taking a dip in the ocean earlier this night.
The water was cold this night but it felt really good.
Just like a Swedish summer SHOULD look like.
And we were right on time to the sunset at 21:30 :P



It was a bit cold this night as well on my way home.
But I still have shorts at night, and for being me
- Lee, who can't stand cold, this is a thumbs up!!

I had my music on and I listened to Jimmy Hendrix on the way home.
In those moments you wish that you were a teenager at the seventies.
That would be cool.
If I could live any lifetime I would choose the seventies I think.

At Marcello we watched GRANDMAS BOY from 2006.
I have never heard about this movie before, ever.
And it was hilarious and retarded - I totally loved it.
Stoner movies are so awesome!!

But I am a bit retarded myself as well, so maybe that's why?
If you ARE retarded like me and totally missed this movies for years,
I'll have something to tell you: SEE IT !!!!
And see it NOW! It really cracked me up.

Take care, be safe and peace on you.
From the flower girl :)

I haven't worked in Sweden since .... 2006?
After that I worked in Denmark and during traveling.
(Well, accept when I worked as a sushi chef last summer)
Work? Sweden? What?

I HAVE TO SAY IT: I AM BACK AT    !!!!


This morning my dad called me like crazy.
My phone was off since I transfered my number to another
sim-card and normally this happens 03.00.
Just woke up and hear dads voice: Bla bla bla "get dressed" bla bla bla
"you've got a job" bla bla bla "you start at 12 TODAY" bla bla bla
Get your ass up .... bla bla bla... it sounded like this in my ears anyway.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!

The job he told me about was now mine. But how?
To be honest, I was in the store I once worked in 6 years ago and talked to the boss.
After that I've been in a "I don't give a fuck mode".
Only because it was what I needed at the moment, so I never went back to the store.
In my head I thought that more people want this job and need this better then I do.
And I guess that they have more people standing in line to work in those type of stores as well.

I was wrong. I got a job I didn't pay attention to and they still wanted me.
F*CK, I AM GOOD!!! :D
Well, I still need a job and YES I can work in the store again, but it's not a future plan for me.
It's temporary and I can live with that.

If I can go further then this, and learn more about interior design while working
I would be happy to stay. And maybe design the store.
But that takes time but it's something that ALWAYS have been interesting.
After all, I am a designer! :)

But the first day went well.
I went 100 % and even more and took care of the register the first day.
*big responsibilty ehhh*
It felt like I turned back time and it was weird to be there in a way.

The only problem is that I want to buy and decorate
so much at home when I work in a store like that.
My mind is just focused how it can look in MY APPARTMENT with those kind of things.
I have so much potential to do stuff.... I don't even have the time to paint.
And yes I bought something the first day, but just a deck of playing cards.
SIZE EXTRA LARGE!!!! They are biiiiig and I looove it since we play alot of cards :)



Ahhh.. I think it's time for some meditation and then go to bed.
I am out of focus - totally.
And I need it tomorrow when I have to be more focused at work!

But, YAY ON ME - I've got a NORMAL JOB AGAIN!!!

Get inspired.... Good night!!

Just a small thought...

In Sweden they started to show comercials from OREOS.
We had them for a while, but it's not until now they start to get popular.
(Damn America)
We have a Swedish version, called Ballerina. (Which kicks ass)

Anyway.....
The comercial is the most pervert comercial I've seen.
To be correct - HEARD!
I don't know if they say the same thing in english, but this is translated into Swedish.

TWIST, LICK, DIP!
(snurra, slicka, doppa)

First time I saw it on TV, I laughed my ass off.
It's true, but come on....
What do you think of?
Or is it just me that react on this one?

I THINK SEX ANYWAY!



THIS IS THE SWEDISH VERSION - BALLERINA

One thing is for sure.
Yoga is the best thing I've done so far in my life.
When it comes to selfrealization, focus, concentration and just feeling good.
No stress and the calmness is getting into my body.

I went up at 07.35 today and started the day with my morning kriya, cleansing.
Sended my CV and waited for Sanaa that wanted to join me for some morning Yoga.
She called but never showed up.
Bummer for her. I did it anyway.

I just did the Cakrásana pose. (Wheel pose)
And I always had problems with it.
Until now - first try, up and hold a long time.
I guess that the streanght in my arms is getting better or something.
Same with Gomukhásana.
Had a really hard time to get my hands together
since this has to do with breathing and lungs.
And for those who knows me, I have problems since years back.

I guess that some parts in my body is feeling better?
And some are feeling worst. My legs for exemple.
But I do more legs now.

During my practise, I decided to save up money for my next "LONG" trip.
It's going to be somewhere in the world where I can continue my AGAMA YOGA.
I guess it will be Mexico again.
I also plan to go back to Isla Mujeres within a year so.... It's a perfect opertunity.

This time I don't plan to take the level course 2&3,
why not just take a Yoga Teacher training?
I'm going to spend 3 months or so to do this,
and I am going to try to do it in the winter time when it's cold here.

This is what I love. This is what I like to do.
This is where I understand, find myself and the right energy that I need.
I concentrate and I learn something every day.
I really want this.
I still have to thank the guy that helped me on my way when I needed it.
It was life changing.

I noticed that it's really hard for me to talk about certain stuff or act in a certain way
around people that haven't tried it, understand it or just live a different lifestyle.
In the end I stop talking about it.
I can say that I am very spirituell and to feel good I need spirituell people around me.

I also noticed myself being out of control on and off.
Coming back to all the stress, being surrounded by people again.
Having 3 phones ringing. Yes, 3 (at the moment).
Nice weather but still need to search for a job, future plans, exercise, see friends,
eat, clean and all the other normal stuff that you do.

Why can't it be more hours on ONE day?
Then you have the time!

I think that many people I know is very curious and want to know
more about Yoga and meditation.
But I am not a teacher, not yet anyway.
And it's hard when you can't give them all the fact.
They also have to believe in it.

And IF I become a teacher, can I survive on that money?
But what is money anyway?

This is my plan!

I NEED A FUCKING BOYFRIEND!

It's so sad actually.

Excuse my language but it have been waaaay too long now.
Some times I almost wish I was a slut.

OH - BY THE WAY!
New blog coming up.
I've done one but I haven't decided if I am going to change this or the other one into english.

new adress: http://www.leepersson.blogg.se

More on that topic another day.
I am dead allready.

Peace.

It is funny how you connect a song to a memory or a person.

A party or a thing you did 30 years ago.

As soon as you hear the song, you will go back in time

and remember exactly that same moment as you did back then.

An ex boy/girl friend or a breakup can tear you apart in 2 seconds.

Or a song you are use to exercise to that can make your adrenalin pump through your vains.

How our mood can change from happy to sad in no time at all.

Or the other way around.

 

I remember last summer.

When I was home in Malmö.

I lived with 2 guys in one big apartment on Möllan.

It was a hot and great summer and I was happy.

Now when I am home again 1 year later, also on Möllan but this time I live with Annica,

but kind of alone since she is not home 2 weeks a month.

 

I'm listening to the same songs as last summer since I have the same playlist

as last year on my spotify account. The weather is hot.

The sun is boiling and I am happy.

The songs bring back memories from last summer.

That summer when I left Mexico, before leaving to Asia.

It feels like the time stood still during the whole summer.

I was there, but still I wasn't.

 

I am back on Möllan and it makes me happy.

This is one of those songs that I danced to in the

old kitchen together with Fredrik in the early morning.

 

This is one of the summer songs 2009!!!

Goodnight Malmö!

Finally I made up my mind that I will continue my blog in Swedish again.
I noticed that I had 80 people reading couple of days ago when I wrote a Swedish blog post.
I will have a link to the same blog, just translated into english if you are a english speaker.
So you can understand as well.
So I will post 2 blog posts.
One in Swedish and one in English. Great huh?
It's a win win situation.

I know that I haven't been bloging alot lately.
But at least you have pictures so you can see what I am doing.
I'm in a period at the time when I don't really care about alot of things.
I just enjoy my day instead of analyzing everything if it is right or wrong.
I know what I am doing and I need this at this moment.

And tomorrow start a new week of joy and more sunshine.
And the "normal" life begins again. It's FOCUS tomorrow!
And YOGA!! =)

I just have to say that I am very glad that I met new friends.
I've been having many many great days with you guys.
Thanks alot fuckers :)
The whole gang is absolutely NUTS and I love it!!!
They make me happy and I laugh almost all the time.

Why have people around you that makes you feel bad?
I think that Laura was right in Thailand when she told me to change alot.
I need this at this moment.
What I do later on, that's another question.

World Cup is still going on.
Holland and Spain - still 0-0 after 106 minutes.
Feels like the longest game ever!!!

And another thing - I HATE to do the dishes!
Time to continue my cleaning.....

Meow meow

3 BUMS ON A BLANKET.
Johan is feeling good haha



What is going on?



The little turtle head Papa Hassel.
This picture is a great shot of a great night.
What happened there?



It actually looks sexier then it is.
Bunny is in the game.



Papa Hassel had an EPIC moment!
You are fucking nuts boy. Crazy!!!!



Perfect picture from a good night as well.
Mangkuut, you rock!



Bunny (Annica) is in the picture!
Just smile and wave boys, just smiiiiile and wave!!


My hair :)


I smell Malin. I smell a Irish Coffee as well :)



Magnus, as miss HELGA FROM SCHWEDEN!!



Me, close up. And I give you some titties as well.



Johan went from being Mister Cubano to a Mexicano :P
06.00, feeling a bit tired I guess....

This is all I have the energy to upload.
This internet kind of suck at the moment so I've been sitting here for 2 hours soon.

Time to clean the appartment :)

BYE BYYYE

Me Like alot.



Peter the chief... Fully sober on Tempo.



Gustav.



Me. Flower in my hair.



My life guard is watching over me :P



Malin and her titties... like usual.



Meow. Jonas aka. Fluff.



Christofer aka. mister nose ring



Mister Brazilian man with the green tighty... ;)
The coolest Brazilian guy I've met in a long time.
You have to search more if you want to find a guy that is more hippie than this.



Shiney in my face? I am kind of BLANK! HAHAHAHAHA...
Meow meow. ;)



Papa Hassel and me.



Sanaa and Biggie!



Our view.



Sun bleeched hair eh?



Vanna Beach. Who said Sweden is cold in the summer??



Pilot.

The REAL summer is here to stay.
It is hot and I love it.
I stopped with everything I am doing at the moment and I just went to the beach.
I've been there for days.
Relaxing, getting tanned, played music, had picnics, play cards, chillin' with friends and talked alot of shit.
Been drinking beer and have done activities such as swimming, football, basketball, bmx.
Cruising around on your bike through town day or night.
Speakers pumping music loud through the backpack.
Good food, good weather and the summer is something I enjoy so much here in Sweden.
It does not last for a long time so I will try to be out as much as I can and have a awesome summer.
And being with awesome people, having people I like around me also makes it fantastico!!!



HOT TANNED PAPA HASSLE :) (Johan aka. Mister Cubano)



Beer time at TEMPO! SUMMER!!! Meow, Meow!



View from the hill, west harbour.
(our usual spot)



Compareing tans. Me to the rights, and Malin is giving Papa Hassle a leg massage.



Oh Fluff, dear Fluff oh my little Fluffy! :)

Sometimes I wonder if it's just me that is happy.
That feeling of joy inside that is bubbling inside my tummy.
Almost like being in love, but I'm not in love.
So, I wonder.... WHEN I am in love, how does that work then?
Am I going to bubble over from the feeling of love and joy then?

Fly on pink clouds or just be the same dreaming Lee that lives in another world?
No. I am positive and happy that I have a great life,
friends, family and I am just greatful to be alive.

You can't love too much. that's for sure.
And LOVE is ALL we got and all we need, so why stop loving?
I learned many lessons through the years.

Someone CAN'T love you, if you don't LOVE yourself.
I can finally say that I really love myself again.
I am stronger then I have never been before.
I know what I want with my life.

Now I just have to match someone else that has the same goal as myself.
My tingly feeling inside my tummy is nice to have.
And sometimes I wish I had someone to share all my energy with.
And enjoy all the nice things that I am enjoying.

Tomorrow it's time to start with the Yoga again.
Tonight it's time for a jog in the park.
And maybe even going to see the "water show" at night.

Meow Meow. Time to continue my thinking....

I was suppose to write something earlier today but I got
migrain and tofally passed out on the couch.
I missed the soccer with Spain and Germany as well.
Just couple of more games and then WORLD CUP is finished.
Sweden isn't playing so I don't care that much.

I was suppose to go to the park and watch but the couch looked better.
Woke up at 23.30 and now I cannot go back to sleep now.
The smell of pizza, down the street is getting into the appartment.
I am hungry.

It's hot outside.
It is summer.
I LOVE the SWEDISH summer.
There are people everywhere you go and in the same time it's so empty.
The parks are filled with people and you can be outside :)
It is only dark for couple of hours at night. Feels like the sun never goes down.
Sweden is beautiful. Of course you can complain about many things,
but WHY complain when you can see the good things?
Why even be negative when the summer is so short?

I am more then happy to be home during the summer.
I am enjoying my life to the full right now.
It can't get any better. It is so great.
I cannot complain about anything.
Sometimes I get those feelings when you just enjoy everything around you.
Watch the sky, the birds, the clouds, the trees, the grass, the people and the life you are living.
And of course the company you are with.

Are you a person who lives TODAY?
Are you a person who lives for the moment?
Who feels all the love you have in your life?
I know I am.

Memories that will last for ever and hopefully never go away.

A feeling of freedom.
That little kick you get where you feel alive.
Like you have your life in your hands and can do what ever you like.
That little kick is a KICK ASS feeling and I wish it never goes away.

To think different is something I got stuck on.
I started alot of analyzing with/on people.
Things you wont notice when I see you.
But things that is going on inside of my head in the same time.
Just thoughts, actions and how different people think and behave.
I compare with myself of course and I try to figure out other people how they think and work.
To go deeper.
Underneith and try to find or see the good things.
I notice that many people puts on a mask in public places.
To be someone that you are not is not good.

I am glad that I met some new friends.
I feel really relaxed with them and I like them alot.
I can be myself. Nuts! Without them caring.
Because they are like me.... Woho!
I need more people like that around me.
Nuts but smart :)




Had a great day in the park today with Per.
Super great guy.
Then Elin sat close to us and joined us for a while.
Before we left my headache started to come to me and when
I came home the migrain hitted me.
I ate, drank and I passed out under the blanket and haven't moved since then.

Now it's time for bed again.
I made it all cozy inside the livingroom.
Matress on he floor in front of the TV with million of pillows.
I will sleep in here.
Good night :)

How nice isn't it to live in a town like Malmö?
How nice isn't it to live on Möllan?
I never appriciated MALMÖ as much as I do today.
I don't ever need to go on vacation. Malmö has it all.

Fuck the rest!!



The music is awesome!!

Some may say that it's not smart to drink coffee before going to bed.
Well, I have never had a problem with this before.
Until last night.
But, I never went to bed, so does that count then?
It was a late night and suddenly it was early.
Sun was up and I decided to NOT got to bed.
If I went to bed early in the morning, my whole day would be a disaster.
So I putted on my sneakers and went for a walk in the park.
It was SO NICE to be alone.
Haven't really been alone for a long time.
I could breath.
I went back and decided to go to and see if I could return my camera
to the store and maybe find a new phone with a walkman function.
The store was closed so I drove around town a bit.
Suddenly I was down at the marina (DOCKAN) just to watch the boats.
But there was a big TV crew who recorded  for the "Summer Camps morning".
So there I was, in the middle of everything and I guess I was on screen as well. Haha.
I talked to dad and borrowed some money and then left to the store.

I ended my old contract and got a new one and ended up with a new baby.
For free. (not totally though)
Sony Ericsson W995



And they also fixed my camera :)
This is just what I have done so far today and it's just 12.00.
I have to speed up a bit so I don't fall a sleep later on.
Need action so I can go to bed early instead!!

Well, I'll be back later. See ya'll

OKEY -

I looked inside of my album today on facebook.
My RAJA LAUT album from when I worked on the boat.
I should NOT have done this...

Here it comes...

CRAP!



Royal Langkawi Yacht Club



Chicken Island, Thailand.



Tim and me in the marina in Langkawi, Malaysia.



Twin cabin onboard Raja Laut.



Snorkeling on Phi Phi, Thailand.



Me inside a baby-pool in the ocean. I'm chillin'....

Oh, okey.... enough with the pictures now.

I miss Asia, there you have it.
I am home and I want to leave again.
No long trip this time but I want to go back for maybe just a week or 2.
I miss the marina in Langkawi.
I miss the pool and the bar
I miss the god damn boat.
I miss my cabin
I miss the fun I had
I miss the ocean
I miss the mystery
I miss the sunsets
I miss the heat
I miss Joeys food
I miss the experiences
I miss the freedom
I miss the lonely nights sailing and watching the stars
I miss the sailing
I miss the diving
I miss the beautiful things I've seen

And .... I miss YOU!

Daaaamn....

2 ½ month of being sober and hanging out with crazy party people is not easy.
It's really really hard should I tell you.
Since I'm nuts myself I love it too.
So last saturday I drank. I missed it a bit.
I had alot alot of fun so I don't regret anything.
I did it for myself ;)
I will not go into details but I show my night with pictures instead.



Playing games in the park. Fun fun fun.



Our KIOSK CREW TEAM WON!!!!



Magnus wearing make-up!



Ooohh...Fisseeeeee!!! (Pussy)



Malin, Annica and me.



Malin is flying.



And I found a pair of shoes so I look like Pippi Longstocking.



Just me...

Ibland blir jag förvirrad.
(Eller nej, jag ÄR förvirrad).
Ibland vill jag ta på dig bara för att jag saknar dig så.
Att känna den närheten som jag gjorde med dig.
Och då syftar jag inte på någonting sexuellt utan bara närheten som en vän.
För att jag saknar relationen som fanns.
Men den är borta och lika så du,
men jag blir förvirrad för det finns en annan person i mitt liv som påminner om dig.
Det är inte bara jag som har sagt det,
många som frågar mig vem du är och säger samma sak.
Jag hittade en ersättare.
Jag antar att du kanske inte är bra för mig.
Visst är ni olika på många sätt i utseende och personlighet,
men samtidigt så är ni så lika.
Det är verkligen inte bra men jag kan inte hjälpa att titta lite extra.

Jag vill dansa med djävulen.
Jag gillar risker, jag väljer själv och jag lär mig varje gång.
Trots att man känner sig dum ibland.
Jag kan inte hjälpa att jag dras till dom där med lite extra krydda.
Det är där jag har någonting att hämta och lära.

Man behöver lite BUS i vardagen & någon som man kan dampa lite med.
Glimten i ögat är bara ett plus i kanten ;)

Fyll upp min rastlösa vardag och håll mig i handen när vi vandrar i natten...

This is when I'm inside my bubble.
When you should not disturb me.

When I'm walking around the appartment and dancing.
Being creative and just pumping the speakers hiiiigh :D
This is when you look at me and think that I'm nuts.
But you know what?
I don't mind at all. I think I am anyway!



I'm wearing my baggy jeans. They fit perfect!!!



My lips never lie.



Doing my best pose.
You just got to love me more ;)

I'm on my way out in the night.
Yesterday the bridge over to Denmark celebrated 10 years.
TEN YEARS????????
WHAT? When and HOW did it go 10 years?
Well, face it Lee - I'm getting old!!!
*Nooooooo*

Anyway....
Me, Per and Magnus went down to the harbour in Limhamn.
It was fireworks and they were big.
I was a little bit disapointed though because I thought it was over the whole bridge.
They had a couple on the whole bridge but mostly on land.
You could see the same fireworks from Denmark as in Sweden.
Pretty cool and it was nice to sit and look at.
I had my picnic bag (from my bike) with me, with coffee for everyone and cookies.
Woho...  the guys got to love me for bringing some munchies for them :D

They spended many million on those fireworks I think.
They were pretty huge.... nice.
It was a long bike ride and the guys had their inlines.
Afterward we went to the "retard dock" and sat there for a while.
I went to Marcello and said Hi and then went home.
I came to bed 04.30 after a weird bicycle ride back home in the morning light.

THE SUN NEVER GOES DOWN IN SWEDEN.
It was still sunset yesterday at 01.00 AM!!!!

CONFUSING!

It is now time for me to go to the park again.
I have not been doing much the last week.
Just relaxing and hanging in the park.
I had a great week with Per and Magnus.
Thanx alot guys! :)
Who can complain being alone girl with 12 guys???
NOT ME! :D

There is no energy for anything else at the moment, I just have to clear my mind.
I manage on my svadistana chakra at the moment.
Good things and lazy days.

I just enjoy the day.
Just love my life and live in my bubble.
And you should let me be there too.....
While I am in my bubble I listen to this.

Bubbles are nice.
FUCK I MISS THAILAND NOW!!!!

What would my bike be without a sign with my name on it?
Pink flowers?
Mirrors on each side like the motor bikes?
And a honk like a angry and hungry dinosaur?
AND a normal bell?

My answer is NOTHING!
This is Lee's bike and Lee's bike needs to stick out from all the others! :)

Old ladies came up to me in town and said that my bike is cool and that the flowers are pretty.
Some girls in the age of 14 stared at it and wispered, wow did you see the flowers?
Yeah, this is how I show off!!!

But I like it, no I LOVE IT!
It's my CREATION and MY BIKE and you know what?
It is not finished!!!!

I want to paint the whole bike and I want to put more flowers on it!!!
It's a project. It's my baby. :)

Let's just hope that no one steals it. Knock on wood.

Thievery Corporation blasts the speakers - Kick ass!

See you in the park



Summer is here to stay.

And I LOVE SPOTIFY!!!!!!!!!

New York
San Fransisco
Los Angeles
New Orleans

Barcelona
Paris
Egypt
Marocco
Israel
Amsterdam

India
Tibet

Isla Mujeres
Brazil
Jamaica
Trinidad

This is how it looks right now.