Swe: Praktik...
Detta blir på svenska:
Jag har fåtal dagar kvar i detta landet.
Då jag inte varit hel tids arbetande på ett tag så är det samma gamla
vanliga sak med att fortsätta med A-kassa osv.
Då det gått ett bra tag nu där jag ej arbetat heltid så har jag kommit till den så kallade Fas 3.
Ja, det är typ den värsta fasen du kan komma till (enligt alla)
Jag har nu blivit placerad på ett ställe.
Jag fick välja själv i från en pärm som de har liggandes inne på AMS där du inte ska praktisera,
utan du ska göra de sysslor som du mer eller mindra gör hemma.
Det är fritt att göra vad man vill men bara du är där 8 timmar om dagen.
Och det stället jag valde är GIVETVIS ett ställe för massa äldre människor.
40 + snackar vi om då.
Och hej och hå vad de är glada i mig (speciellt nu när jag gjort mig snygg i dag)
Dom lämnar inte mig i fred, men gud vilka underbara människor att prata med.
Bredvid mig just nu sitter en gubbe i en soffa och mediterar.
Random.
Stället heter Hibiscus och viben jag får här är fantastisk
och underbara människor med hopp och glädje.
De kallar dom själv för Hibiscus familjen! :)
Jag önskar att jag stannade här och lärde känna dessa människor.
De flesta talar spanska.
Och nu kanske ni undrar varför jag gjort mig snygg i dag.
Ja, då ska jag berätta för er att jag får besök i dag i från USA.
Om 4 timmar landar han, det ska bli underbart att få ha honom här.
Trodde aldrig att det skulle hända på riktigt <3
Nu måste jag kila. Puss på er!
"A fish in the water"
I was reading horoscopes and reading a bit about astrology
just now when I came across this...
and I really like what I read.
This is the third blog post today. Jeeez...
"We searched for each other
in the most unlikely places,
among the most unlikely people,
And when our paths finally crossed,
it was for reasons so entangled
in our daily bread,
and the usual trespasses
That we might not even have noticed,
except for that faint quiver
of wonder
like a passing chill
from the night air
We loved.
And the closest we've come,br> to explaining why,
Is Because it was you,
and because it was I."
<3
Sunday....again.
This week has been one of the most boring ones in a long long time.
You have to force yourself to stay at home all day everyday.
Because I KNOW that if I do something else,
my mind won't be able to concentrate to do something else.
Yes, I'm a very AIRY person.
(Don't let me explain what it means to be an airy person,
because then I would need to post 3 posts about it haha)
And it's enough that we have a kid in the apartment.
I'm hiding in my room and I try to study,
but the only thing I can think of at the moment is liqurice.
Surprise huh? haha
I need to go and buy some sunday candy.
And I do want to play with Liam instead too, because children are just too much fun.
I'm going to do Yoga at 2 hours.
I might not just go because I NEED to sit here and study hard.
And AFTER I've been studying hard, I can do my OWN yoga at home. Hopefully.
Or I just end up eating more candy and study some more.
Yes...
I went to the store. I needed my swedish candy haha
And now I'm eating my dinner from yesterday.
It's going to be a long night with studying. Again.
Signing out. Over and out!
Let it be Tuesday
Please, can it just be Tuesday now and let it be over and done? Please!
I'm stressing out and the only thing I want to do now is to chill the fuck out before I leave Sweden for ever...
I guess it's no time for that!?
What will happen?! I'm excited to see what's up after Tuesday!
Wish me luck
All the roads lead to Cali
Here I am. Studying.
Not thinking about California.
Yes, I still get signs from California everyday.
If it's not tv, it's conversation, someone I meet, a sign, a text or something else...
So... My sign for today is in my study books. In my face, again.
I need to go to California?!?!?!?
Fug
Studies, steps and crayfish
I'm taking the step.
Are you?
All I have to say when you are afraid is:
JUST DO IT!
(I should work on Nike)
So this is mine and Anna's "kräftskiva"
(Crayfish party)
Really nice night with a LOT of food!
Thank you sweetheart for an amazing night....
Back to my studies....
Driving
I just have to say that my driving instructor is the best!!!!
I've been driving with 5 of them but Micke at Triangelns Trafikskola is so far one of the most chill people and he has got the best attitude.
Totally silly, just like me. But can be serious when needed!
He sings songs for me, makes silly jokes, try to blindfold me or just be annoying in the car. Of course all this is a test and it's perfect!!!
Just couple of days left. I have my Halka tomorrow :) weeeee fun fun fun
Skype
Back to the whole Skype thing again. Whyyyyyy don't I just meet someone closer to where I live? People actually ask me this all the time. I guess that's not difficult enough I guess? It can't be too easy?! I like it but I hate it at the same time. To be able to touch someone, smell someone and feel someone. I do LOVE Skype cuz I can both hear and see the person... And
It's a lot better than Facebook or Whatsapp anyway. Long live Skype and Americans... Haha peace out! Goodnight
Mani fucking pura...
Time flyes faster than you think.
It's barely 2 weeks left of my time here in Sweden.
And I'm lucky, cuz the weather is getting shittier and shittier now.
I can't wait to get back to Thailand.
And to see Tim. I miss him a lot when I'm not able to talk to him.
I'm home in my kitchen.
I have decided to have 3 (THREE) days off from Facebook.
Wish my luck. It's already starting to be a pain in my ass hahaha...
It's good for me. It's a tapas. I have to make it.
So, that's why I'm writing here instead.
I need to get my words out.
Many thoughts have been circulating in my mind lately.
I have been "out of balance" when it comes to my yoga and meditation.
I know why and I let it be like that too.
My focus is my drivers license and I don't have much left now.
All my time (more or less) I've been spending with focusing on this.
It's like there is no other time .....
It's a fase I'm going through (my out of balance)
and I'm working a lot on the manipura chakra to get stronger.
I do know that it has 2 sides of the energy and that the type of energy isn't pure.
I had problem with my attitude many years ago.
But after a while, people started to tell me to behave etc.
I had a lot of anger that needed to come out,
but instead I pushed it away and focused to be a better person.
Which is good of course... But...
That energy was still there... just hiding a bit.
That's why I'm have attitude problems at the moment and feel like a bitch.
I have a big ego and think I'm a princess.
This is not really me.
No, this is not me at all.
Or well... It is, but it's just temporary and something I need
to work on to pure that energy to make myself stronger.
But, I need to observe it and do something about it and not let it effect my ego.
I'm very firery at the moment and I use it when I meet new people.
(not in a aggressive way)
But I want to see the fire in them.
Specially men I meet.
I want to see passion.
I want to do everything that I can't do.
I'm playing with fire.
And talking about fire.
One thing I thought would never happen was meeting Michael.
I don't know what it was, but I couldn't control anything.
My mind just went blank when I was with him.
Which was just for 2 day and 3 nights and I barely know him.
But... There was something I can't describe in words.
Feelings I guess.
I realized that I haven't had feelings (real feelings)
for a man in a long time.
I can fall in love with peoples personalities and like them a lot.
In a second!!!
But... I still feel like a little girl just thinking about it.
I don't like it, cuz I'm not a little girl.
28 years old with an old soul.
I would call myself a young woman.
And just the thought of him coming to Sweden before I leave
makes me weak and makes my heart beat faster just thinking about it.
FUCK FUCK FUCK!
Think tantra, think tantra
Peace out
Fuuuuck
For 3 days it's been bad weather.
I don't have the time to get a tan before I go back home.
Today's problem of a traveler.
I've been in a really fucking weird mood for the last 2 days too.
Very negative and angry.
Like... very angry... at everything and everyone!
I've been analyzing myself and I couldn't come up with a reason.
Maybe it's all these hormones leaving my body?
I don't know, but one thing I know is that I'm really bored.
I'm sooooo ready to go back home.
There is NOTHING for me to do here in Cancun.
Maybe it would be different if I were in the Hotel zone, but I'm not.
I'm down town. Don't even ask me where.
I did have a great time with meeting people, but that kind of ended 3 days ago.
Since then it's been raining and boring.
I'm going crazy.
Let me come home to chill the F out with my lovely roomie Jonas.
I always miss him when I'm gone.
Yes, he's mah home boy!
Peace. Love.
Over and out.
Syncronization & intuition or just the coincidence?
This one is better of in Swedish.
Sorry again for my lazyness....
Jag kan inte släppa tanken om att allt händer utav en anledning.
Jag kan inte påstå att jag är besatt av allt det här,
men jag hade en magkänsla innan jag åkte.
Och som många av er vet så litar jag alltid på min magkänsla.
Jag visste (eller ja, jag tänkte och hoppades på) att jag skulle träffa någon intressant.
Men det var egentligen inte meningen att jag skulle åka hit till Mexico nu,
inte förräns i november då kliniken inte betalade min biljett i tid osv.
Det var väldigt rörigt och väldigt i sista sekunden med allt.
Jag fick känslan utav att jag skulle stöta på någon i varje fall.
När det sen inte blev konfirmerat att jag skulle åka
så kändes det som om det inte var rätt tid.
Det var inte dags än.
Tanken slog mig att "personen" inte skulle vara där då...
Men dagen innan jag åkte mailade jag med
hon jag bor hos och hon bad mig komma dagen efter.
Det var väldigt tight med tid, men efter många om och men kom jag iväg.
Jag kände på mig att jag skulle ångrat mig annars och jag visste att något skulle stärka mig.
Det var trots allt tid ändå.
Jag vet att allt händer utav en anledning.
Även om det är till det bättre eller till det sämre,
"what doesn't kill you makes you stronger", right? ;)
Men hela den där biten med att människor börjar bli allt mer synkroniserade med varandra
och känna en sammanhörighet och som att de träffats förr blir allt vanligare och vanligare.
I alla fall de folk jag pratar med och har dessa diskutioner med.
Många har inte tänkt på det förrän man tar upp det.
Speciellt med folk som reser som inte känner sig hemma.
Jag vet om att jag är en person som är född i fel land.
Därför känner jag oftast mer synkad med andra som är ute på samma äventyr.
Men jag synkade vid första ögonkastet med denna man.
Och tyvärr kan jag inte släppa det.
Jag vet inte om jag var själv om det,
då jag inte ville börja snacka en hokus pokus
och skrämma i väg någon som jag precis har träffat....
Han berättar i alla fall att han egentligen inte skulle varit där,
utan de skulle varit i Honduras och Belize men att deras resa ändrades i sista sekunden.
Precis som min. Och vi träffades på den magiska ön istället?
Kvinnornas ö. Isla Mujeres.
Kanske var det min magkänsla som hade rätt där?
Vem vet svaret på den frågan egentligen?
Är det bara en SLUMP, eller är det en synkronisation?
Är det min karma att få smaka e bit utav kakan och sedan att någon tar den ifrån mig?
Och hela den här grejen med att vi vill samma saker i livet.
Mycket mycket mycket vi har gemensamt.
Har gjort samma saker, vill till samma ställen och har samma tänke sätt?
Det var bara absurt.
Om man inte vet vad man talar om när det kommer till ituition,
clairvoyance, third eye, mental command center etc.
Hur förklarar man för någon som inte är insatt, utan att verka ko-ko?
Jag tror det förblir hemlighet av vad folk kan göra, tänka, tro, drömma, se.
Jag vet att jag har ett starkt "tredje öga" och ser oftast saker innan det händer...
Ja, det är fakta.
Jag har många gånger inte trott på det själv.
Tills jag drog till Thailand och utvecklade min clairvoyance or intuition.
Hur jag stärkte mitt AJNA CHAKRA (tredje öga).
Men, tyck vad du vill...
Jag är kanske inte som alla andra och det är jag jävligt glad över.
Men en sak är säker. Min intuition och magkänsla litar jag ALLTID på!
ALLTID!
Och på 2 dagar tog den här mannen mig med storm.
Och det var en mening med det.
Möjligtvis för mig att öva på det där med detachment, distans och kärlek.
Efter många jag träffat,
och ska jag vara ärlig så har jag träffat en del sen jag blev singel igen.
Men aldrig känt det där lilla extra.
Här fick jag en fet käft smäll av en massa extra.
Kan väl inte säga att jag är kär, då det tar tid för mig.
Men helt klart en person som jag hade velat spendera mycket tid tillsammans med.
Och utan tvekan hade kunnat bli kär i.
Nä, nu ska jag sluta flumma och glo någon serie eller något
Over and out.
Study in peace
So, back to the whole thing to be alone.
I'm glad that I have got the discipline to take my time and actually study in this paradise.
But I'm kind of used to it since I did my TTC in Yoga.
Back then I didn't have a life at all.
My wish was actually to leave Sweden for 2-3 weeks to be alone and to study in peace.
I got what I wished for!
Since when I'm back home I have a lot of friends around me all the time and don't find any space for myself.
I'm not complaining, I love my friends. But my retarded mind can't concentrate when I have people around me!
I did find friends here too,
but they all left.
Sad but good for me at the same time!
I really need to pass on these tests!!!
So I guess I'm back to
being a good girl again ;)
Study study study and being alone.
But you know what?
Reading about cars and how they work and all this, makes me very interested in cars. I'm a car freak since before, but even more now!!!
I want to learn more about them...
And I want a truck god damn it
Why are you alone?!
Been traveling for a while makes you a bit numb when it comes to meeting people after a while.
I noticed that I prefer to be alone sometimes.
People can see it boring.
Me, I love it!
Don't get me wrong, I love to meet people but mostly just those who satisfy me somehow.
I love to learn, educate and not just do the same thing everyday.
I get bored. Specially when it comes to drinking and partying.
I guess I have the typical manipura (firery) attitude some times?
When people can look at me as I have problems with my attitude.
Maybe I do, I don't know?!
I can be pretty bitchy with those who doesn't understand.
That's how I practice how to be patient.
I try my best not to be bitchy.
And I know that I have a big heart once you start to know me or just talk to me.
I'm just pretty allergic to stupid people.
Is that ok to say?!
Those who knows what's right and wrong and have an open mind and trying to live freely, that's the people I'd like to have around me.
I would look up to you if you teach me something.
And as I said before, the smart ones.
Those I can connect with.
I've been experiencing some people (local Mexicans mostly) coming up to me and trying to flirt.
One of them have seen me at the beach bar every time I've been there.
Yeah, as far as I remember from the last time, they really like to stalk you.
Anyway, he asked me why I was there alone every time.
I'm not, I answered. I've been hanging out with people there.
But that made me think, I'm a bit Swedish when it comes to that part.
I realized that I'm not shy, but I just don't approach strangers just like that.
And I know how it works at that place.
It's just a meat market.
I like to go to a place where I can dance without having 20 guys staring, even if they are very good at not approaching... I like to have fun but not ALWAYS it have to be about sex! I'm trying to live out my feminity (my shakti nature, just like my guru Swami Vivekananda told me to do) and be a real woman. Meeting men but without having either judging people or stalkers after me...
I decide, not them!
And I have to say, the ones I meet are special.
I'm not trying to sound like a princess...
But there are FREAKS out there!!
