Mani fucking pura...
Time flyes faster than you think.
It's barely 2 weeks left of my time here in Sweden.
And I'm lucky, cuz the weather is getting shittier and shittier now.
I can't wait to get back to Thailand.
And to see Tim. I miss him a lot when I'm not able to talk to him.
I'm home in my kitchen.
I have decided to have 3 (THREE) days off from Facebook.
Wish my luck. It's already starting to be a pain in my ass hahaha...
It's good for me. It's a tapas. I have to make it.
So, that's why I'm writing here instead.
I need to get my words out.
Many thoughts have been circulating in my mind lately.
I have been "out of balance" when it comes to my yoga and meditation.
I know why and I let it be like that too.
My focus is my drivers license and I don't have much left now.
All my time (more or less) I've been spending with focusing on this.
It's like there is no other time .....
It's a fase I'm going through (my out of balance)
and I'm working a lot on the manipura chakra to get stronger.
I do know that it has 2 sides of the energy and that the type of energy isn't pure.
I had problem with my attitude many years ago.
But after a while, people started to tell me to behave etc.
I had a lot of anger that needed to come out,
but instead I pushed it away and focused to be a better person.
Which is good of course... But...
That energy was still there... just hiding a bit.
That's why I'm have attitude problems at the moment and feel like a bitch.
I have a big ego and think I'm a princess.
This is not really me.
No, this is not me at all.
Or well... It is, but it's just temporary and something I need
to work on to pure that energy to make myself stronger.
But, I need to observe it and do something about it and not let it effect my ego.
I'm very firery at the moment and I use it when I meet new people.
(not in a aggressive way)
But I want to see the fire in them.
Specially men I meet.
I want to see passion.
I want to do everything that I can't do.
I'm playing with fire.
And talking about fire.
One thing I thought would never happen was meeting Michael.
I don't know what it was, but I couldn't control anything.
My mind just went blank when I was with him.
Which was just for 2 day and 3 nights and I barely know him.
But... There was something I can't describe in words.
Feelings I guess.
I realized that I haven't had feelings (real feelings)
for a man in a long time.
I can fall in love with peoples personalities and like them a lot.
In a second!!!
But... I still feel like a little girl just thinking about it.
I don't like it, cuz I'm not a little girl.
28 years old with an old soul.
I would call myself a young woman.
And just the thought of him coming to Sweden before I leave
makes me weak and makes my heart beat faster just thinking about it.
FUCK FUCK FUCK!
Think tantra, think tantra
Peace out
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