ૐ It's just me ☼ Lee Lee ૐ ☮ ♥

When do you know?

When do you realize that the world is absolutely insane?

When you can see everything from a different perspective?

When you start to realize this, do you also realize that you have to live with it?

You have to accept that the world is crazy to be able to live in it,

before it kills you first.

When you are able to expand your mind and instead of comparing everything,

just accept and enjoy the crazy ride you are about to take.

Don’t worry, nothing is going to be ok.

Just continue what you are doing, but with awareness.

Universe is telling us something.

Universe is telling us to wake up.

But when do you know that you have been woken up?

I think that you just know.

When life is about connections, relations, contentment, happiness,

and most important of all... PRESENCE!!

 

I understand that people have to work to have a roof over their heads,

food on their tables and after they come home at night,

you feel exhausted and didn't enjoy anything of your day.

Not many people have been waking up yet, some just did and

some sadly enough never will.

It’s about evolution. It’s about change. It’s about experience.

It’s about challenges. It’s about strength.

Universe might drag you down in the deepest black hole,

but it’s only up to you to climb up.

As long as you come with a positive mind and try your best.

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”.

In the end, Universe will have a great plan for you.

You might not see it now, but it’s there – all planned out already.

Try to be present. Try to enjoy.

It took me a long time to wake up, and I am just

wondering what the hell is going to happen next.

I learned a lot from living in Thailand.

Yoga, mediation & silence brought me a lot of focus.

And silent retreats makes you being more aware of what is going on.

But being a quiet woman is not easy.

In our nature, it’s very necessary to speak 3 times more than a man.

And it can be very frustrating when you WANT to speak, but can't.

 

As I have been in a “relationship” before without speaking so much,

mostly because of the language barrier, it’s even harder.

And I’m doing it again for some reason.

I guess I just have to learn.

It’s absolutely beautiful to feel love and loved.

Absolutely beautiful for a short while, but this isn’t a movie.

This is real life and it doesn’t last for that long.

Because people have too many needs. And too much ego.

That is not love.

People confuse love with needs.

It’s a completely different energy to tune into.

 

We most of the time disconnect our hearts and start using our brains instead.

Our needs.

But what if ….

And what will people think?

And what will we do? How will this work out?

So many thoughts, and so little presence. 

What if you die tomorrow? 

 

But we are big, we are strong, we are independent,

but most of all – we are afraid.

Of one single thing.

The only thing we need to survive.

Love.

That is all we need and all we want in the end.

Because in the end, when we want things and need things,

But because of fear, we stay closed, we stay focused at work, we disconnect.

 

Don’t live in the past, and don’t plan the future too long ahead.

You will never be able to change your past, neither your future.

The only thing you can control is what you do TODAY!

It’s happening NOW.

Right in front of your eyes.

This is the hardest part.

We all live in different realities.

 

It doesn’t matter what you do, it’s up to you to create it and it’s up to you to live it.

Sitting in my new kitchen.

On the second floor.

Downstairs cars are driving.

Dogs are barking.

People are talking.

And somewhere around they are playing some latin music.

My kitchen is outside of the apartment.

It’s more of a bar and I have another table next to it.

It is fully furnished.

I have one room with a big bathroom.

My own laundry machine. (yay)

And my “living room” is literally the kitchen and the rest of the floor.

Next to me (a door from my kitchen) lives a older woman.

Americana with 2 dogs named Barkely (yes he barks) and Sasha.

She is half of the owner of the house.

Upstairs is a big roof top.

On one side you see the caribean view and the other side is over to Cancun.

Beautiful both of them.

 

Downstairs lives Milon (Smile-on)

He is the other half owner of the house.

He is an older man at the age of 79, old fisherman,

American with 1 dog named Margarita.

He reminds me of my grand father in a way.

He got a lot of stories to tell.

I need to sit down with him soon and listen to him.

He talks a lot.

He loved Swedes he said.

One of his ex girl friends back in the days was Swedish.

But, she is dead now.

And today he asked me if I wanted to join them for Christmas dinner.

And he asked me to make a Janssons frestelse.

(Swedish traditional Christmas food)

How can I say no to that?

I think I will adopt him as my new grand father.

 

I decorated my kitchen with nice cozy Christmas lights and re arranged a little bit.

I destroyed my white laundry today too.

Everything is brown, but laying in clorine over night.

FUCKING SHIT!

Half of my stuff were stolen too.

I have been pissed about this today.

But I am also on my hormones so pissing me off is easy at the moment.

 

In all this, I open my bag and I remember that I got a gift from Sandra from earlier today.

A brownie from Café Rooster.

OMG. Can you get happier?

 

It was a tropical storm today.

Everything was flooded.

This happens all the time when it rains.

I went for Yoga at Pocna, directly after Yoga it started to rain.

I met Sandra for breakfast.

Since the rain didn’t stop, the breakfast became almost lunch.

And we found Christy on the way who gave us a ride home.

When I came home the internet didn’t work.

And haven’t ever since at all today but tomorrow they will fix it.

I’m actually enjoying it.

I’m drinking tea, listening to music, eating my chocolate brownie,

organizing my papers, studies, and I decorated the room and kitchen today.

Just missing one person here right now.

And not having internet feels kind of lonely.

I feels weird for me to miss someone like I do now.

But I like to miss someone and the feeling makes me happy.

Happier than I have been in the past year anyway.

I kind of lost hope when it came to good men,

and no matter what happens it feels better.

And I got my hope back.

Specially after couple of fails lately.

 

Unexpected connections from out of the blue,

in Sweden actually.

Someone who made a very strong influence on my way of thinking lately.

After traveling for a long time, it kind of thoughens you up a

little bit and you get used to people leaving all the time.

(Or you will leave)

I really enjoy being alone and I am used to it by now.

But when I met him, it totally gave me hope again that there are good men out there.

I’m very thankful for this connection. No matter where it leads.

Like I have said before, you meet everyone for a reason.

Now it’s just matter to find out why.

 

Diego have arrived to the island and his girlfriend will come to Isla for Christmas.

It's so nice to have a friend here, on my paradise island! :)

Over Christmas and New Year I hopefully get a nice visit.

I can only wish.

In January I will have friends coming over for the BPM festival in Playa Del Carmen.

I have already job offers coming in and I am over whelmed with compliments.

I’m laying very low at the moment since I’m on hormones and I am a bit sensitive.

 

No, I have to say that I am in love with my new place.

I am super satisfied.

Now I’m just waiting for someone to come over and join me.

Well, that's all for today.

 

It's time for some tea.

Ciao!