Great moments....
Today have been one of the most relaxing days here on the island.
The Drum Jam on Happy Beach was one of the best so far.
I had really a good time, and I danced my ass off until I was
soked with sweat so it looked like I just had a shower… I totally loved it.
Brahm and Jesse and all the other people rocked tonight.
It felt like Hippie town without drugs. And what do we call them?
We call them YOGIS. High on life.
Everybody danced around a bonfire and close to the ”stage”
which today was the little stage, which I prefer better standing in front of and dance.
I even danced with Aves kid on my back…
It was one of the great moments from this trip that I will remember and tell my grand kids about.
”You know, when I was young and just graduated from Yoga school,
me and a bunch of hippies were dancing around a fire and people
where playing with the fire and they were playing drums etc.”
Isn’t that a great moment in life? Oh yeah I think it is…
And you know it was a great PARTY, when a Thai women who sell sweets,
stops by on her way home on the beach and hears us over there…
Stops by and we give her a tamburine.
She have never seen a tamburine before, in her life.
She is super happy and he tries it.
Then she let her bag with sweets down and start to join us to play music.
I am just one of those who dance so I got it all on tape too haha.
The woman stayed and jammed with us for 2 hours.
Then you KNOW it’s a good PARTY!
And I went home… on my bike and didn’t have a light. Couldn't see shit.
But I didn’t care. It was kind of fun of guessing where you go next in the dark, specially on a bike.
I have to say that I LOVE Jesse!
Funniest Buddy ever on this island. You are awesome!
Time for bed, me so tired... Have slept like... 4 hours or so...
Puuhh... yeah yesterday was a late night too.
Had a great time yesterday too though... :)
Graduation
This will be in Swedish my friends....
Jaha då har man gått ut skolan, det känns lättare nu.
Ingen stress att gå upp på morgonen och jag är en Yoga lärare nu.
Känns fantastiskt.
Och hur skönt är det inte att fira kvällen med får final ceremony och få "red sash"
och säga farväl till alla fina människor som man träffat på sin resa hit.
Fantastisk uppvisning av hela klassen.
Och kvällen avslutades med en middag på Good Time tillsammans med klassen.
Ett glas vin (efter 3 månaders hård diet)
och sedan gick några av oss till "The Jam" och skakade rumpan lite.
Kändes jätte skönt och som en sten som lossnat ur bröstet.
Så mycket lättare nu!
Kvällen avslutades med ett dopp i det blå under en vacker (fortfarande) fullmåne!
tillsammans med trevligt sällskap. :)
Det var pricken över i:et som jag väntat på länge.
Måste erkänna att det är något med mig och Amerikaner.
Jag vet inte vad det är, men ... jag kan inte hjälpa det!
Plask.
Nu ska jag till söndagens DRUM JAM :)
Ciaaaaao
A SIGN...
I just HAD to share this, cuz this is amazing!
I had this strong feeling that I wanted to go somewhere tonight.
Sit somewhere and just be.
I went down to the beach here at Bovy and sat there in the dark.
Enjoyed the silence, the beach, the sea and everything around me.
I decided to meditate.
During my meditation (which was very short, cuz it was interupted)
I asked for a sign, from someone up there... "The devine".
I have my eyes closed of course, that you should when you do meditation.
Boom, all of a sudden 2 dogs shows up from nowhere and just sits down next to me.
In my mind:
"Oooookey, wow, that was a sign, thank you for that...
But... How do I know it was a sign?
Is it rude of me to ask for another sign?
Ok, I ask. - Give me another one please."
I open my eyes before I ask and I look around.
So, what more can I ask for?
I see 2 other dog really far far away.
The only sign I could see was those other dogs.
But no way they would come over, cuz they were toooo far away.
I close my eyes... and I ask again.
Boom. The 2 other dogs sits right in front of me.
And the first 2 dogs starts licking me.
I start laughing to myself. Did this just happen?
In my mind: "Okey, thanks for the sign. Now, please leave dogs!"
2 seconds later the dogs hear something little bit
further away and they start barking and disapairs.
3 signs in a row.
And... then I had to leave.
That was all I needed.
I left and the dog that normally sits on our porch,
is staring at something on the cliffs outside our house.
I walk up there to have a look what's down there...
A white cat.
Is that also a sign? Or am I just going crazy over here?
That is what just happened.
Please comment on this...
Why waste my time on you?
Okey...
Sometimes it's hard to find someone that you really get along with.
Or.. no that's not right... I do get along with almost everyone.
I mean... Who I can be with 24/7.
Someone I can talk to anything about.
Or a better word: SOMEONE I CAN BE TOTALLY RELAXED WITH.
I miss that feeling... of being 100 % just, completely... chilled out!
Someone I have something in common with, and can talk about.
And.... someone I can be in silence with.
I love to be in silence together with someone.
It's not always easy to find someone to be in silence with, but when I do, I love it.
My soul loves it too.
You don't always have to talk.
You can communicate without talking, and that, I like even more.
I'm not one of those who wants to be in the center of attention.
(At least not anymore, I've been there done that)
I like my social life, but I also perfer to have a desent conversation
with few people or just even one face to face,
instead in a bunch of people mingeling around and
just talking like chickens, gossiping about NOTHING important.
Prefer deep conversations. You know...
life stories, experiences, universe, spirituality or what ever....
Or sex. Sex always works as a conversation.
(at least for me)
I don't really care if you were drunk last night.
I want to know YOU.
Who are you, and why are you here, now, talking to me, for exemple?
I have ONE male friend like that...
We can almost talk about everything... accept relationships.... somehow.
And that is... Yeah, you know his name by now.
Jonas. The one and only.
And then... we have my wifey. My sweet Annica.
Which I somehow never get tired of.
She is one of those I can enjoy silence the most with.
And of course some other friends....
I AM SIMPLE.
You don't have to make it difficult.
Just be. Yourself.
And accept me for who I am.
And don't let me frighten you.
I promise that I am not scary...
One more day, then I'm finished in school.
LALLALLALALLALLAAAAAAAAAA
Bovy beach
This is where I live now.
Bovy...
I love it.
Just til about april 10 or something...
I need to find a new place then!
Tomorrow is my last practicum.
And on friday we have our last exam.
And on saturday... We are finished with school.
Maaaan... It's going to be so nice.
It's fullmoon tonight. No party for me.
The only thing I am going to do is... Study!
Talk about discipline!
What's wrong with me....??
When the soul connects with someone or something...
It's when I can't stop thinking about it.
For the last couple of days I've been connected with so many things,
that I'm loosing my focus.
Loosing my focus on my studies.
And I just have couple of days left.
I can't stop thinking about this.
Every time I try, it's draging me back.
It's a different energy and which I have time for in the end of the week, but not now.
I see it as a spiritual test, cuz it sure feels like it.
Something or someone is draged into my life to distract me
and I just have to be strong enough to say.... Wait.... Hold on...
If it is still there in the end of the week, fine.
I just get upset with myself cuz I don't know what actually happened....
I moved in to Jodies place yesterday... and it feels great.
I love it here. A nice bed. A nice fan. No cockroaches or spiders,
just a cat and a dog... and some crickets.. but that's ok! :)
And I've got the best person to share this with.
Jodie is one of the sweetest Americans I've met. I love her! <3
Now... back to study...
Hasta la vista, baby!
Sunday....
I knew there was something...
My feelings are always right.
Where do I begin?
MAMA NEEDS HER SUGAR????
No, that's not what I'm going to talk about...
But... It's true.
Today... I don't even know where to begin with words.
And I don't know if I will be able to put this day down with words AT ALL.
I've been trying to just BE. Just be in the NOW today.
And... I would say, Oh yes I have.
All day. And it's been lovely.
Really nice, even though I had to study and I didn't...
What I didn't like about the day was my headache
who kind of fucked everything up for me.
To put it down in words I have to write like this...
"I got a little piece of a cookie and not the whole cookie itself."
But... gradually... carefully... and patiently...
I guess I can have it piece by piece.
Which is ok. More than ok.
Something I can mention about today is that I had my first acupuncture treatment.
And it felt great, but I guess that was what triggered my headache.
And that I went to the drum circle and everything around me kind of disolved.
Time for bed. Goodnight, xxxxxxxxxxxx
Saturday night
I'm looking forward to get some sleep... like... right now...
And to sleep in, cuz it's SUNDAY tomorrow... (or today)
and you know what?
I have one more week to go, then I'm finished with my TTC.
Then I'm a REAL Yogi. WOHOOOO!!!
I noticed myself being super friendly with people.
Like people I've never met before and people I just starting to know.
And you know what? I love it.
The Swede is crawling out of the shell... Hahahahaha...
For the last couple of days I've been asked if I am American.
For real? Hahahaha... I think I've been hanging out with Jodie too much! ;P
It's a nice compliment anyway, that means that my english is ok I guess...
Today me and Jodie went to Thong Sala with Cris.
Had lunch at A's Coffee shop and then we went to Limping Pong to buy groceries.
You know what I found?
YES, You see the picture... I'm in heeeeeeaven!!!!
KNÄCKEBRÖD and licouice. :D YUM YUM
I'm making chocolate balls on next sunday for our pot luck :)
I know ... I've been eating so much sweets lately and been drinking coffee.
I can't wait to do my Detox for 7 days.
Tonight I've been doing... Nothing.
I tried to study, but I guess my mind is everywhere else tonight.
I noticed myself with all my books ... and ...
I was watching animated videos on Youtube.
Good one Lee, very good..
It's time for bed. It's another day tomorrow :)
Goodnight, over and out.
Be careful what you wish for...or....
Everything you wish for will come to you.
That's what they say anyway...
Yesterday I wished for something.
Swami has been nagging me about that I need to get a lover ... or 3.
And... I haven't ... Cuz I am, me.
What are you doing in a TANTRIC school then?
Good question. I am here for the Yoga.
Of course sex is good for you... But...
I'm just not one of those girls I guess.... Or...
Maybe I am, but I just need a connection with the man I meet.
Some interest or at least an attraction.
Otherwise I can just stay home and use my toys,
which I am super satisfied with too.
I mean... How fun is sex without a spark?
Doesn't need to be love, just a connection.
Even if it's just sex.
My little "dubble chin" I have on my chin,
is a mark for a person with a lot of sexual energy.
Apparently.
Aaaaaand... apparently he is right.
Sex is like food.
And I am fucking starving myself.
Been on a diet for a LONG time now.
We'll see what happens now.
I think it's going to end up good anyway.
Svadistana is activated.
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA....
And we have one more week left in school.
THEN I can relax.
Until next time... Over and out everyone.
It's a day tomorrow as well :)
Something out there....
Ok...
I start of with a picture.
I loooove this picture.
Taken by Yulia, at Sea Garden! :)
Love that place.
Ok... Here we go...
Lately, I've been feeling so good.
Much better than couple of weeks ago.
It's getting better and better and I am one step closer that I was before.
Closer to my goal.
I still don't know my goal, or purpose...
but I know that I am on my way.
My whole life I had the feeling that I don't belong in Sweden.
I know I've said it before but it's such a strong feeling.
I know that I have a purpose somewhere else.
And when I am here, working on myself,
my energies and all this spiritual stuff that is coming up -
It just feels so right...
I am doing something good, and I am learning something good in life.
Which I can teach others, to make a change.
But... the strongest thing I feel is that I am here in this world to find a person.
I don't know who this person is, and where this person is either.
That's why I am here I guess.
It's like someone is calling my name.
And I guess that I have to find out where this person is, and who it is.
And WHEN this happens, I think that I will know.
I think about this very often...
And I am looking after that connection with everyone I meet.
I do have a lot of connections with people I meet.
Specially when traveling...
I DID have a very strong connection with one person,
a connection I still can't explain.
But it wasn't the connection I was looking for...
It was a rare connection, for sure. But it was too much drama for me.
This guy, is someone I don't have close anymore.
But it's like... He is always there anyway.
Not in person, but on a different level, I can't explain.
Some people know him by name, and yes... it's Tim.
So, if you are reading Tim - I guess you know this allready.
I can't run away from that connection,
even if both of us changed and live different lives today.
He will still be a part of my life.
And just the thought of that I met him 3 years later....
was weird, but in the same time so natural.
One thing is for sure... I am NOT lost.
When I feel lost is when I am in Sweden.
It's so weird to say it, because I love Sweden, (accept from the cold)
but I guess I was born in the wrong country.
Talked to my mom a bit yesterday and she started talking
about a medium she went to when I was young.
I do remember this medium, and my mom still talks about this lady.
I found an old blog post my mom had in her blog yesterday...
How... I don't know.
But the word I read felt so strong, and so true.
The medium told my mom
"Lee doesn't belong to you, She belongs to the world".
And I STRONGLY do belive in those words.
There is something big out there for me.
I have a long way to go, but I know it's closer than I think it is....
Tomorrow we are going to have a "Childrens Yoga" class...
And I am looking forward to that, SO MUCH!
It's actually one of the dreams I have, since I just LOVE kids.
Maybe I just stay here and teach Yoga with kids
and don't give a F about going back home!?
And then I just have to say that I Love Swami.
He is one of the best.
He is special and what he is teaching others here, is one of the best thing I experienced in life.
If I could recomend one thing in life to my friends, family etc, this would be it.
I say... DO YOGA!
I'm high... on life and love. Peace
Me...
Me in this moment.
Trying to multitask.
I guess it's a bad idea.
Study is more important.
I'm eating ice-cream.
I needed a sugar rush. But... My ice-cream is old.
It's been in the freezer for a month.
And my freezer sucks.
The ice-cream has melted and been freezed 2 times after I bought it.
So... with other words...
it feels like I'm eating ice with chocolate flavour.
Not chocolate ice-cream.
Not cool.
I'm reading for my final exam about Yama and Niyama.
My legs are sore. Or ... my knees.
Sitting with crossed legs for almost 3 months now is what I've been doing.
And I've been Nauli Kriya again.
Not so much different then before.
I noticed that I move my jaw when I do the twist with my stomach.
I wonder if it helps hahaha....
This time Ave joined me.
Just realized
I just realized that the 2 upcoming weeks are going to be super mega busy.
Were taking a look at my books about what is going to be on our test for our final exam.
70 questions.....
And Not just the posture we are going to hold for 10 minutes (I'm gonna go for Halasana)
And the other we have to hold either 5 min Nabhyasana
or 7 min Utthita Ardha Dhanurasana (on each leg!!!)
Or do Trataka (focusing on a dot for 5 min without blinking)
I practised Trataka, it felt like a safe card... but... I started crying.
And that's not good for your eyes.
I have to continue practise though...
I can get ryth of my glasses doing that, and isn't that amazing?
Tomorrow starts super mega studying...
Wish me good luck and see you in 2 weeks when we finished school.
Haha... Much love :)
Manipura class with Nauli Kriya
Today we had a Manipura class with Justine.
I loved it.
Manipura is one of those things I really have to work on,
and... I love it.
It is one of the first times I ever tried Nauli Kriya,
Normally we use a mirror under our belly,
so we can see what we are doing.
But today we didn't get the mirrors at first,
so I improvised and took my phone and used the camera instead.
While I was watching myself doing it,
Justine putted on some Manipura music to help us get going.
And it was quite an awesome class. . . . . . Loved it!
I may not have the body of a model doing this,
(not the stomach anyway)
But I decided to record myself doing it...
Cuz I also think it looks pretty funny. (and awesome)
I'm gonna learn how to do those waves and then
I'm going to record it and you will see it.
This is step one haha...
I just learn how to play with it now :)
Just another day in Sriiiiiiii Thanuuuuu
It's already the 6:th of March, time is flying.
I didn't pass the exam we had so I had to do it all over again,
and I did it today and I passed.
So, yay to me haha...
I'm just a bit slow, that's all. Air sign. Haha.
So.... I start on my next practicum right away.
Been sitting and listening to Swami for 2 hours now on the computer,
while taking notes about Sanka Pranksalana.
Even though I've done it couple of times before,
there are so much information that is good to teach others.
And of course, my mnemonics ... practise practise.
I'm starting to get used to it now.
Having no social life or any life at all.
Just study Yoga all day every day.
It's getting easier, but harder at the same time.
I think that I had some purifications coming up so that helped a lot.
I feel more focused now and I'm gonna try to do even better.
I decided to do the detox at ananda when I finish my TTC for 7 days fasting.
And then doing the Tantra workshop.
And I even decided to do a TEFL course on the island.
(To be a english teacher)
So I can continue my travel and actually earn some good money and make a living.
Have my Yoga at the same time and my massage.
Making plans.
I changed my flight home yesterday. Feels good.
Instead of april 16, june 20 is the new date.
So I have a bit of time to enjoy the island, do the TEFL and detox myself :)
It's time to sleep now.
Take care, much love to you all. <3
