Accidental Pornography

Yoga day 5

A great morning, not tired at all.

Every day we learn something new.

So to start with, we learn one exercise in the morning and another one in the afternoon.

But today we only did one - Paścimottánásana, which is posterior (back) stretching.

Everyday we do the 6 warming excercises, and relaxation.

And of course all the other exercises we allready learned.

So everyday there is getting more and more exercises! Nice!

I always try to NOT fall a sleep when I do the relaxation.

I've learned, but it's hard and it happens that I do.

Today it felt like I was in a trance. Weird, but cool.

After the relaxation we talked about MUSIC MEDITATION!

Then we tried it. And WOW!

That is definitly something for me. (Since I love music)

I felt strong energy and vibrations in different chakras to different songs.

I didn't think that I was suppose to feel anything.

But I did, BIG TIME!! YAY, Now we're talking.

I'm getting used to be without makeup these days.
Feels so natural and nice. And when you have a little bit of tan, you don't need it.
Back home in the winter maybe YES!

And by the way.... There is someone who doesn't want my hair to be brown.
Why can't I be a brunette? My hair is turning blonder and blonder every day.
And yes I do know the affection from the sun, but it's fading.
I hate it. It cut off half because it's so damaged and to color it again.

More then that today I've just been at the pool and try to get some sun.

1 hour and that was enough. Just been thinking about food, food, food and sex.

When you don't get it, you want it even more, right?

Well, later people. Peace & Love!

Wedding? What?

Received this picture today from my grandmom.
Invitation to a wedding.
First I just saw the stamps. United States.
Thoughts running through my mind....
Who do I know in the States that are getting married?
Then I saw the names...

Matt & Sarah!
Then I looked at the adress again.
It's sendt to "The Perssons" on the right street but the wrong number.
They can never never never do their job.
Always someone else mail. Come on!!
Sometimes I even get mail to Mister Abdulla Muhammed.
Can't they read, then I don't think they have the right job!

I wonder if the REAL PERSSONS will get their invitation!?


I got a tip of a good book to read. Apparently anyway.
I still haven't read it, but I think I will.
So, I pass this forward to the rest of the people.

File:GDR Shantaram.jpg

Shantaram is a novel influenced by real events in the life of the author,

Australian Gregory David Roberts. In 1978, Roberts was sentenced to nineteen years' imprisonment in Australia after being convicted of a series of armed robberies of building society branches, credit unions, and shops, which he had committed to feed a heroin addiction after his marriage ended and he lost his daughter. In July 1980, he escaped from Victoria’s Pentridge Prison in broad daylight, thereby becoming one of Australia's most wanted men for the next ten years.

The protagonist arrives in Bombay carrying a false passport in the name of Lindsay Ford. Mumbai was only a stopover on a journey that was to take Lin from New Zealand to Germany, but he decides to stay in the city. Lin soon meets a local man named Prabaker, whom he hires as a guide but soon becomes his best friend and who renames him Linbaba. Both men visit Prabaker's native village, Sunder, where Prabaker's mother christens Lin with the name Shantaram, meaning Man of God's Peace. On their way back to Bombay and after a night out, Lin and Prabaker are robbed. With all his possessions gone, Lin is forced to live in the slums, giving him shelter from the authorities and free rent in Bombay. After a massive fire on the day of his arrival in the slum, he sets up a free health clinic as a way to contribute to the community. He learns about the local culture and customs in this crammed environment, gets to know and love the people he encounters, and even becomes fluent in Marathi, the local language. He also witnesses and battles outbreaks of cholera and firestorms, becomes involved in trading with the lepers, and experiences how ethnic and marital conflicts are resolved in this densely crowded and diverse community.

The novel describes a number of foreigners of varied origin as well as local Indians, highlighting the rich diversity of life in Bombay. Lin falls in love with Karla, a Swiss-American woman who refuses to love him back, befriends local artists and actors landing him roles as an extra in several Bollywood movies, and is recruited by the Mumbai underworld for various criminal operations, including drug and weapons trade. Lin eventually lands in Bombay's Arthur Road Prison, where he endures many beatings and other physical and mental abuse by guards, while existing under extremely squalid conditions, along with hundreds of other inmates. However, thanks to the protection of Afghani mafia don "Abdel Khader Khan", Lin is eventually released, and works in black market currency exchange and passport forgery. Having travelled as far as Africa on trips commissioned by the mafia, Lin later goes to Afghanistan to smuggle weapons for mujahideen freedom fighters in Afghanistan. When his mentor Khan is killed, Lin realizes he became everything he grew to loathe and falls into depression after he returns. He decides that he must fight for what he believes is right, and build an honest life. The story ends with him planning to go to Sri Lanka which lays the premise for the sequel to this book.

Yoga day 4 - Food!

When I woke up this morning, I was really tired.

All the energy I had from yesterday suddenly disapaired.

I was a bit low, but I got up to the class at 08:30.

After class I felt like I was going to die.

My migrain came back and I felt really weak in my body. And shakeing.

This is normal during the purification though.

But I thought I was done and purified by now?

Maybe this was my punishment for cheating with eating a really nice Italian pizza yesterday?

I guess so! And I was suppose to take the bike in to town and buy food.

Yeah right, I couldn't move.

I passed out after class and woke up again when it was time for the afternoon class.

My whole day was gone. D'oh!

During the afternoon class everything was going ok, until the abdominal massage.

Now we do 2 different massages for the stumache. And I felt sick sick sick.

So I had to stop what I was doing and sit down.

I didn't want to loose more of my appetite, because I was hungry and I haven't been

eating ok since the last weeks, or months... So, no more pizza until I come home ;)

After class I took my bike and went to town to do my grossery

shopping that I was suppose to do this morning.

On the way I noticed my flexibility, my balance, my pulse has changed alot.

And this is only in 4 days. FOUR DAYS!!!!

I also notice that my muscles and skin is feeling better.

I am shining, or at least it feels like that. (When I don't feel like I'm dieing haha)

I walk more straight and I tighten my stumache more and more,

and I feel it. And it feels really nice.

ONLY 4 days, and everything is mostly about the muscles connected to THE SPINE!

I recommend Yoga to everyone! :)

I went to Tesco and bought healthy food. No more crap!

Better start now then when I come home right?

But damn, it was expensive.

I got the great tips from Peter as well, to buy a HERBAL medicine namned Feverfew.

For fever, headache (migrain), soar and dry throath.

Found it as well, let's just hope it's working! :)


Had some chicken fried rice on the way. (sicken flajd laj as the thai would say)

Really nice because this place has really fresh vegetables,

and you pick how much and what kind of vegetables

you want in your food mixed with the rice and chicken.

And if you are smart like me, you take shitloads of vegetables, and there is 2 portions.

Voilá! So, you eat as much as you can,

and the left overs, you get in a doggybag! :)

Also bought cheap satés (pork and chicken) and 2 springrolls.

I will manage on all this food for over a week... I think.


And yes friends, I will post pictures of this place I'm at.

But since my camera is ”retarded” at the moment and the display doesn't work,

I don't want to stand and take 344545 pictures and ONE is OK!

But hold on, it's coming I promise! :)

I've took some today at sunset time though.



Outside Agama Yoga and where I live.

Here is my home. :)

Another sunset picture :)

This is what you get welcomed by when you enter Agama Yoga on Koh Phangan

Yoga day 3

Sahája agnisára dhauti.

This is a abdominal massage that makes the waist slim,
increases digestive fire and expels excess fat from the belly.
Strong relieving effect due the burning of psychic stresses,
gathered on the level on manipura chakra.

Just what I need. And it's a purification!
It felt kind of weird to do it, and to have long fingernails like me, isn't the best.
Since I got big marks from my nails next to my navel now. HAHA.

Another thing we did today, was the "Salutation to the sun"
We also said things after every thing we did.
For exemple: Namaste pose, we say AUM MITRAYA NAMAH.
And there is 12 poses during one exercise.
THAT was funny. Since everyone said it wrong, had to low voice etc.
I mumbled mostly because I had noooo idea what we were saying.
And to remember it while you are doing other exercises, isn't my best.
Since I hardly know whats left or right.
Aaaaand I have to focus on it in English as well... GAH!

I had alot of energy today.
So much engergy that I had a hard time to sit down.
Unfocus? YES! I wanted so jog 3449353535 miles.
At least I got my energy back anyway, and that's good :)

Yesterday we talked about Kriya Yoga.
Which is cleansing as well.
  • Scrape your tongue with a tongue scrape!
  • Sea salt on your finger, brush gently the teeth, on gum, inner surface, under tongue etc. Spit!
  • Rinse your nostril with warm water mixed with salt. Use a "neti-can" for this, or with your hand. This is good for clearing your mind, head and nose. Spit, do not swallow!
  • Wash your eyeballs with cold water.

You should do this every morning right after getting up from bed!Now it's time for bed, that's it for my Yoga update today.

Grismaja and some water...

In Swedish you can call me GRISMAJA!
That's a expression for someone who is a PIG!
Yes, because when I have my mind somewhere else,
and I have stuff to do, or when I'm feeling good actually,
everything around me looks like shit, and I don't care.
Maybe not the best to not care, but life is so much better to enjoy then cleaning.
Like I use to say: "Better with a little bit of dirt in the corner, then a pure hell"
Translation in Swedish is better though.

My room for exemple. I try to clean but 2 seconds later, it's the same.
Plastic bags laying around, clothes on the floor (that's my favorite)
Bottles, food, I try to be careful with the trash because of the ants.
And everything I want to save I put in the fridge.
Books in the bed etc, yeah you saw my pictures from earlier blog post.

Tv is on, always, even if I'm not looking.
Good that they have english tv.
I watch CSI everyday!!! :) And now, a NEW CSI is coming up!
YAY!  First episode today woho.

I had to buy a pizza today. I found a Italian place.
Expensive for economy, but I was really hungry!!
So, I ate half and wanted to eat the rest later.
I putted the plasticbox outside of the Yoga hall.
Since I was just in time for the class,
I didn't have the chance to get home before class and leave my food.
When I take my food, it's covered - like always. In those damn ants.
So, it was a just to eat a sandwich instead., damnit!

Just a thought....

First bottle from the left is 600 ml I guess (Don't read Thai, but I know numbers)
It costs 8 baht = 1,94 kr
Second bottle is 1 liter and costs 15-18 baht = 3,63-4,36 kr
Third is 5 liter and costs 38 baht = 9,21 kr
Finally the last one is 20 liters and costs 50 baht = 12,12 kr


Why doesn't all FARANG buy this as well? (Thai for foreigner)
Hmmmm... Maybe a bit hard to carry around I guess, but if you stay a longer time....

Well, anyway... I have alot of water now haha.

Time to update about the Yoga. Later.

Pizza Please!

Here I am. Feeling better today.

No migrain and no vomiting.

Today I feel great! Woho!


I sit on the floor in my room, killing ants with my thumb.

One after the other walks by and I just push my thumb down.

Sorry.... Sorry.... Sorry.... Aaaand Sorry....They are everywhere!

I drink some green tea.

No, not the one you buy in the store,

since the Thai people add SUGAR in everything, and by that I mean EVERYTHING!

Even if I love the green tea/ice tea you buy in the store,

it won't do me any good. Maybe better then a Coke....

Just water and green tea, cold with ice. Good!


I notice that I am still on my purification.

And by that I notice it when it comes to food.

All the sugar I've putted in my body lately.

I just want a greasy pizza. A SWEDISH GREASY PIZZA!

Oh, I miss Swedish pizza sooooo much!

Ohhh, yum yum yum.... I'm watery in my mouth :)

Every time I buy a pizza in Asia I get so disapointed.

I had couple that were ok, but not like home. Oh maaan!

See, this is what I'm talking about.

Addiction to something good. A great taste!


I am a good exemple of a person that have to much

energy in my Svadhisthana chakra!

I have to focus on my Manipura instead :)

See, I'm learning something over here!


More later... Need food.

Dreaming about a nice pizza.. Mmmm...


I'm gonna do this blog post a bit shorter then I was thinking.
I don't really feel good at the moment and now I know why.

Thank's Yoga. Thank's alot for making me feel sick as hell.
I know that it will do me good later on, and like I said - it's a purification!
I just hope that my MIGRAIN that is a pain in the ass right now,
is gonna go away and I can have my energy back soon,
so I can do other stuff then just lay down. Or vomit when I don't lay down!

So, from now on - NO PILLS in any kind, and NO SUGAR and NOTHING that blocks my energy.
And ALOT OF WATER! But that's nothing new, you should always drink alot of water :)
Sorry Pete for not really understandig you before, but they explained everything today.
I understood about the meds, but when you REALLY understand, you UNDERSTAND.
HAHA, sounded complicated. But yeah, sometimes you feel like a dumbass!

The migrain has been going on the whole day, even if I went to bed after morning class.
When I did the mastric massage (found under the breastbone) I felt sick.
So sick that I wanted to vomit. And every time I did it I felt worse and worse.
This massage is for purification of the energies in the abdominal area and
the expelling of toxic energies at the massage point.
I've did this before but I never felt sick from doing Yoga before.

When I came to my room, I took a shower (even if you should wait 1-2 hours) after class.
But the shower is my "feel better" place. I feel good under water.
And then it came. My illness. So I finally threw up.
After my shower I cried and cried. I don't really know why.
Just been really emotionell.

We talked about that today as well.....
I have more YING energy then YANG.

Can someone please tell me that I am purified now?
More then that, I feel good. Everything is going well with the course.
It's just second day, so I guess that it can get worse in the beginning.

Time to sleep away the migrain... I hope...

Todays pictures

Oh. I forget to tell you guys that I found a desert beach.
I found it when I was driving around with my crocodile killer bicycle the other day.
No people at all, it was only me me me. All alone.
Really nice, but later a couple came. Isn't it beautiful over here? ;)

This is my "HOME".
I really like the room, It's niiiiiiice as Borat would say ;)

And this.... This is my "OFFICE" HAHAHA.
This is how I normally spend my days, even at home.
Always something to do. Read, write, research, schedule,
paint, plan, thoughts yeah you name it...
Some people didn't think there was much in the blond little girls head.
BUT, there is more then you think. Actually to much, that's why I am nuts haha.

More Yoga writing tonight after afternoon class.
Had to rest after class this morning.
Got pain in my back and suddenly migrain, from stretching my neck.
PAINFULL and couldn't focus at all.


Strong words

Music can make me really emotionell.

I think that Coldplays lyrics is still touching.
They are very talented,
They have good and strong words for many of their songs.

This is one of the best - ever.
I love it, and I can cry every time I listen to it.

Tears stream down on your face when you loose something you cannot replace.
Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones, and I will try to fix you.

Why not go NUTS?

Spending some time alone
can get a bit boring sometimes....
Sooooooo, why not PLAY a bit with the camera?
Take funny goofy pictures of yourself and post them
and still look like a big idiot? HAHAHAHAHA.

Yeah. Me. Take it or leave it.
I know I'm crazy! =)


And speak of NUTS, I still LOVE this song.
It's so old by now, but I STILL think it's funny!!

Yoga Day 1

Morning session 08:30

Took of all jewelery, put on some cotton clothes.

Signed in, since it was first day.

Got my book. Yes, we also get homework! ;)

Still tired, but my morning changed quickly.

Took 10 min to wake up my brain though and really listen.

I noticed that I was stiff and un focused, but hey – First day!

It wasn't easier to focus when you had a yoga teacher that looks

a bit like Matthew McConaugh as well... Jeeeeeez haha!

My brain were working fast fast fast...

I noticed myself acted (or thinking) like a little kid :

- Bla bla bla bla bla bla, Weeeeeeeee, Lalalalalalaaaa!!

But that's why I'm there! To learn how to control and focus.


After the morning session,

I had more energy but I decided to stay in my room and think, write and relax.

Not good waeather anyway so I watched a movie too.

Then it was time for afternoon session at 16:00 and after that some more talking about what yoga is.

The first days is apparently mostly teory and talking. Alot about the 7 Chakras!

More understanding so you know what you are doing etc.

Some things they talked about, made me realise alot.

I can't really explain how, because you have to experience it yourself to know what I'm talking about.

One of the teachers said that she had a 40 hour sessions about WHAT YOGA IS!

So, you maybe understand that I could write a whole book if I start ted to write about it.



Well, a good thing is that we are going to learn about healing.

Great, maybe that helps me to stop being sick all the time :)

A weird thing that happened during the exsercise was that someone took my hand.

Or something. TWICE!

I opened my eyes and thought someone in the room accidently touched me.

But it was no one near me... Hmmmm....?

I also found this song on my computer today....

Now bed. Later amigos.

Where are you?

I have to say like Charlotte from Sex and the city says:

- I've dated since I'm 15. I'm exsausted! Where the hell is he?

I know that he is out there somewhere. Question is where he is hiding?
And WHO is he? A medium told me that I've met him before...
And that his probably not Swedish.... Hmmmm....
It can be ANYONE with other words!

I don't want to listen too much of what they say,
but somehow it's on the back of your head anyway.
I wish I never went there the first time actually.

Where is my soldier on the white horse?
Yeah, like that's gonna happen. LOL!
It's still no ring on my finger. HAHAHA!!!!!


Live from Hin Kong!

Me and my red nose.
Live from the floor in the reception where I live :)
Listening to some music and relax all day long.

Visited the pharmacy today, AGAIN. 500 baht down the drain.
Been sick for 3 weeks or so and not feeling better.
So I hope this will do for my cough that is spreading down to the lungs.

I also woke up in a puddle of sweat this morning, again.

In 4 weeks time, I had ONE night of good sleep and that was

when I slept in a cool room near the beach, when I had breeze.

So I decided since I'm going to stay for a month,

I pay 1000 baht more a month for AC so I can sleep at night.

This is the first time I pay for a room with aircon.

I've got sick so many times from it because it's so cold,

but I keep the temprature up a bit now so I'm not swimming around in the bed at night.

But I think that I will need the AC when I do the Yoga, at least that's what Peter said.


That's all folks.

Wonders of the world

Were sitting on wikipedia and found wonders of the world.
I know that accept United States, that I've been talking about - Egypt
and the pyramids is one of my next destinations.

Wikipedia says like this:

Pyramids in Egypt
Coloseum in Rome (been there)
Great wall of China
Taj Mahal in India
Golden Gate bridge San Francisco, US (see, another reason to go there)
Old city of Jerusalem
Chichen Itza in Mexico (Been there)
Grand Canyon, US (Been there)
Great Barrier Reef in Australia
Machu Picchu in Peru. (on my list allready)
Aurora Borealis (Northern Lights)

What Wikipedia didn't mention is that Sweden also have this northern lights.
Mostly in Kiruna or Abisko, Lappland. And they last about 10 minutes.
I would love to see one!
I guess that I finally have to go north then...
Then I can try to ski as well haha.

Later amigos

An Island full of weirdos.

This is far out the best place I've visited in whole Thailand.

I am very sad that I visit the place NOW and not earlier.

I feel so secure here and it's definitly ”my kind of island”.


Today I've been a good good girl.

I took my killer crocodile bicycle and seriously went around half of the island.

I was away the WHOLE day!

I was suppose to go to the beach where they have

the fullmoon party, but it was a bit too far for me.

I could have made it but the 2 hills 3 km before the beach literally killed me.

I made it up from one, but I had to drag my bike since it's not really the best going up hill.

In 40 degrees celsius, and boiling hot sun this is a pain in the ass.

When I made it all the way up, I realise it's more then 1 to go.

So Lee said HELL NO and went down again. Haha.

Half way up the hill... had to stop and breath. haha.

I made it all the way up, now it's time to go down again. HAHA!


So I went back to town and found some cheap food at the foodmarket.

An OLD Italian man namned Nino sits down at my table.

He invites me for a drink and watch live music (JAM SESSION)

at a place near by where I live later that night.

I need to social a bit so I didn't say no.

He leaves after a while but I decided to stay a bit longer and listen.

I haven't heard good live music for a while,

and some of the people that were jamming were really good!

I have to say that it's something with me and men with guitars haha.


All kinds of weird people showed up.

mostly old hippie westerners but also young and local guys.

I loved it. I think I had goosebumps the whole time from enjoying everything.

Somehow I had Josephine, my dear friend from home on my mind

when they were playing some "blues/country music".

I could see us together in a van in the States,

going for our long road trip we talked about,

and just sit and sing in the car and have alot of fun.

Oh maaaaaan.... I miss you!


Not so good light in the video, but that's not important.
It's the music okey?

And I also have to say that the Thai guys look good over here.

I do not find Asian guys attractive, but here.... They look allright.

Maybe alot because of their cool relaxed style?

I decided to go home and back to bed since I've been exsausted from my bike ride earlier.

I left right on time because I even got a free ride home

from a girl that also do Yoga. Sweet!


When I got back, there was a ant invasion in the room.

I left the cereal box open, and forgot it. SMART!

It's the second time, some thing takes time to learn I guess haha.

Now – bed. Nighty Night friends.

Who are YOU?

I am so tired of having so many readers on my blog,
Am I that boring?

I want to know who you guys are, what's your name and where do you come from?
(Now I sound like a Thai girl)
How did you find my blog and what does interest you on my blog?

Let me know! COMMENT!!!

If I were American...

And if I could choose, I would come from California!

The people seems to be so much more relaxed and laid back over there.

And like Eddie said: We are the ”greener” state! Sweet!

I'm a West coast girl, even at home.

Here (on Koh Phangan, Thailand) and in Mexico is the only time

I love the east coast!


I mean, I'm from Malmö. ;)

Why have so many people moved to Malmö lately?

We are chill, relaxed, easy going, know how to have a great time,

and yeah.... we just don't give a flying fuck! (Excuse my language)


But to the point - Californian it is!

Very nice people over there....

And my next destination after being home for a while is United States.

Yes, Shannon I will see you in San Fransisco!!! :)

Maybe going back to Mexico as well,

but I had a plan to be there 2012 when the Maya calender ends.


Suck on that one!


Peace, love and understanding my friends.

Joel Kinnaman

I was suppose to log in to my Blog account but something stopped me.
This man.... Helloooooooo there! =)

The new model of MQ!
I have to say, WHAT A CATCH MQ DID!
Can I borrow?

Koh Phangan!

What a beautiful trip on the way over here.
I just have to say that I LOVE to travel alone.
There is nothing better. I feel so free.
The only problem is when you meet someone.
You feel attached and can't leave or do what you want to
or meet other people when you feel like it.
Of course you CAN, but somehow I meet more weirdos when I am alone.
And I love it. And when I say weirdos I mean it as a good thing.
You can also say speciell, cool, not like everyone else and odd.
And that's not bad. It's awesome!
It is so much easier when you are alone, but it also depends where you are.

Well, to start with the trip over here from Phuket started off in a mess.
I got picked up, the driver drow to another shuttle bus.
That shuttle bus was absolutely FULL of people and bags.
I was the last one in and I had to share ONE seat with a guy and all the bags.
Thank you mister travel agent that told me that it was only one bus ride there.
After couple of hours when I could not feel my ass anymore
and when me and that guy practically had a really cozy and
sweaty ride on that seat together....It was time to get off.... Thank god!
To another bus, again.
And from the bus to the ferry that first went to Koh Samoi
and then the final destination KOH PHANGAN!

Ferry stop in Koh Samui.

On the ferry to Samui, I started to talk to a Swedish girl from Gothenburg.
She couldn't go home because of all the closed airports in Europe.
Damn this vulcano on Iceland!
We talked and talked and talked, and it felt like I known her a long time.

I haven't been that social lately, but since last night I guess I changed.
And I also think that people notice this from my energy.
One after the other came up to me and talked. The whole day!

When the swedish girl left, a american girl (Californian) came and sat next to me.
She started to talk fluent Thai with a family. I was impressed!
A long story short, it ended up with us open up for eachother
after 5-10 minutes  that we have known eachother.
And it continued the whole trip, non stop!
And we talked about everything!
I was actually impressed by myself doing that. It was nice!
She lived on the island, were a teacher and had a store with her thai boyfriend.
Decided to change numbers right away, and I'm hoping to see her soon again.

I came down to a bungalow that I've been recomended namned Happy.
300 baht. Oh, expensive! Ok, but for one night only until I found another with at least a fridge.
Otherwise money will be like sand thrue my fingers.
But for being on the beach and being here on Koh Phangan
I heard that it was a good deal. And it was not far away from Agama Yoga.
So, I decided to go for a walk and have dinner. (breakfast)
I walked and walked and walked...
Agama was far away, at least when you think like me
– That you have to be there 08.30 in the morning!
And I am not a morning person.... so you can guess why I think it's too far away.
I arrived there anyway, they wanted 350 baht a day for a stay,
for a 4 times smaller room then this one on the beach.
RIP OFF! Thank's, but no thank's!
So, I went to the building next to Agama.
7500 baht per month and they had a fridge, it was clean, had a TV and free internet.
Felt like a hotel and I had 2 beds... Sweet!
Maybe I can do a business and rent out the other bed? ;)

I walked back and this island was not the other islands in Thailand.
It was quiet, alot of beach and nature.
You could hear the sound from the crickets and frogs.
You could hear the sea.
Here is not much traffic either. Calm and nice.
It's a bit Hippie like, almost like Isla Mujeres.

I sat down in the sand. It's almost fullmoon,
As many of you people know, Koh Phangan is famous for their Fullmoon Party.
I will not go there since I will be CLEAN for a month,
but maybe I will END my trip before going home with the FULLMOON party! (?) Who knows?

I didn't need a light because of the moon was shining down on me really bright.
I never felt so relaxed for a long time.
Couple of meters away I hear chillout psycadelic music running from a speaker on the beach,
I look over there and I see a small small bar with not even 10 people inside.
I see people smoking and chillin'.
I see neon lights and moving green lights going around and around.
I didn't go over there, I sat down in the sand for a minute.
Smiling and enjoying. Alone.
After my first hours on Koh Phangan I decided to go to bed
since I am going up really early in the morning tomorrow and change hotell.
I do love a life on the beach where you feel free.

This is what I woke up to. Oooh, lovely.

It has been great so far anyway.
Why didn't I come here earlier?
I love Hippie Islands =)

But better late then never.

Mission completed

I'm closing the book and putting down the pen.
And I'm leaving this place, just right on time.
Like it was ment to be.

My mission is completed.

The "bad" feeling I had inside of me since couple of months ago went away.
I know myself so good and it was just what I needed.
Answers. And it didn't matter what the answer said. I just needed it.

It was like a bad demon inside of me just flew away right away after that.
Nothing that is hunting me anymore, no more brain ghosts.
I am not worried anymore and I can move on in peace.

The End.


I need help, maybe yours?!

Allrighty then...This is it.
I decided.
It's time for me to do something about my blog.
I need to re-fresh and re-new!
I need advertising, cool cover, background and maybe a bit of help in general.
But I need your help because I don't have NO idea what or how to do!

My only problem is that I am used to my Swedish blog now (
and since I started to write in english since last summer or so, it can be hard to get new readers.
Since all advertisement is in Swedish. I need both swedish and english speaking readers.

I know I have a couple, but lost a couple since I started with my english.
And my comment... Hmmm, you people really suck with comments!
Or am I just not interesting enough?
Maybe I should start to write about make-up and fashion like everyone else?
Why not write about what you are interested in?
And what's on your mind?

And I also think that I made up my mind about going back to school.
It's something that I am going to do and think about when I go back home though.
I want to become a writer.

I know that there were one LEE PERSSON from Malmo.
At 4th of August 2009 she went to sleep. She became 71 years old.
She worked with Sydsvenska Dagbladet (A Swedish newspaper).
In London where she wrote about culture.

Maybe this is my go?
Maybe a NEW LEE PERSSON should take her place?

Simple words for a man...

I remember what Steve told me.


”This young man, you need to take care of all right?

First thing you need to do is to wash him, he has to become clean.

He can not be this filthy.

And then you need to look after him and take good care of him.

Show him alot of love. And maybe even sew him back together again?

You got that clear sista??”


Is this what all men need or is it just my traveling teddybear Mario?


At least he is the only one in my bed for now :)

I fell in LOVE....

.....with a pair of high heels yesterday.

Since I haven't been shopping anything more then a Buddah's face

for myself during my trip, I think I deserved these shoes more then ever!

AND they costed like NOTHING as well....

I feel like a woman again and I feel sexy!

Beleive me.... I needed that!

And I just LOVE them... Aren't they HOT?


I am so tired of living in a shoebox!
I want my closet back with all my clothes,
I want my appartment back with my own bed and furnitures.
Like I said, when you travel for a long time,
you can't shop because there isn't enough space in your bag.
And you need to think smart... But I'm going home soon!
And I don't regret my shoe shopping for one second!



I want a FLUFFY kid.


I need more FLUFF in my life.

Fluff is good and I love fluff.


In my memory...

Sometimes I wish I could turn back the time.
Turn back the time and experiense the fun I had in Mexico again.
I know that one day, I will be there again.
If I plan a trip ever again, my heart belongs to Isla.
I think I left a part of myself over there....

See yourself.
This is how fun you have when you make turbans of your own hair! :)
Also see the beautiful turkish girl Rana and her beautiful mother.
We had so much fun together. CRAZY!
I miss the water. the clear blur water in Mexico.
The people and the peaceful living I was living over there....

My heart do not belong to Asia. It belongs to the other side.
A little bit I also left in Turkey when I was there...
I sometimes wish that I could go back there too. But who knows.
Maybe some day...


Todays picture... Of me....

Happy on Pills.... Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

You need an appartment?

Is this what you have been looking for?

Location: Drottning torget, Malmö, Sweden
Rent: 5600 SEK / month (electric not included)
2 room appartment, 49 square m.
Fully furnished.
No internet connected in the house, sorry I have my own Wi-Fi.
Date to move in: 1th of July 2010 until ?
Pictures is not the best, taken by phone 2008.
Great location, down town Malmö Centrum.
Peaceful, quiet and good place to live. Mostly families and couples in the house.
Nearby you'll find couple of restaurants, gym, hairdresser, mini markets.
It's not far from anything :)
And also close to the station if you are a commuter to Denmark.

Contact me for more info.
Either you comment in my blog or on:


Toilette / Shower

Toilette picture no 2.

Bedroom to the left

Bedroom picture no 2 to the right


Kitchen / Livingroom


Confirmation and thinking

Today I realised that I have not by any chance the urge or need for a drink.
Or smoke, or drugs.
Sometimes I do, but most of the time it's just because I want to socialise
and that's the easy way and what everyone else does too.

I now realised that maybe I hang around or meet wrong people?
And the only time I do drink or smoke is because I feel off track in life.
I may need attention, feel depressed, nervous, stressed or I got hurted etc etc.
I choose (like many other) the easy way out sometimes.
Which I know is wrong. But hey, I'm only human!!!
The only time I drink because it tastes good, is maybe when I mix my own drinks.
Or buy a expensive wine to enjoy to my dinner that I have cooked.
I have been drinking alot in my life, and by that I mean ALOT!

And I remember when Göran on the gym told me:
- Lee, I want you to be sober for a month.
I laughed. ME? And I tried my best but it was hard.
I managed 3 weeks. This was november 2008.
It's not THAT long ago, but long enough to say that I have
changed my thinking and my lifestyle alot.
Actually, he made me realise that I was not living a healthy life, even if I thought so.
After not drinking so much, I realised that I was not only looking better,
I also was feeling better and had more energy to do other stuff.
I lost alot of weight because of that and working out.

There were not those complications that appears when you are drunk either.
And going to a party sober was fun,
because then you see all the people being drunk and stupid.
Sometimes it was hard, but then I just left.
Because who wants to sit on a party and be boring?
I am not boring!
I could not do this couple of years ago.
But today's different. If something doesn't interest me, I leave.

When I then started to travel in january 2009, I hitted the breaks for a while.
To get away from "home", meet new people, party, socialise and maybe have a fling.
Who knew what waited me? I grew stronger and stronger.
Lived my life, relaxed and just didn't give a shit.
After a while I got tired, lost my energy and got lazy again.
I got home, worked out at the gym during the summer when I was home. (4 months)
This was not enough since I started to drink and eat unhealthy again.
I realised that I was influent by many friends.
"just one beer" or "But a pizza on a sunday is a must"
I'm a sucker ok?

I have some friends that doesn't drink and I feel totally relaxed with them.
And those who drink too much,
I try to avoid as much as I can otherwise I got influent too much.
In the end of August 2009, me and a friend of mine went to TURKEY together.
I had ONE drink on the whole trip, I felt really really good during that trip actually.
I was relaxed and comfertable.
And I did not have to drink to meet a guy or socialise.
And let's not talk about the sex.
I also had 20 times more fun being sober, but just being me!

Lately I haven't been myself.
I also think this is because I don't have those people around me
that I feel safe and secure with.
Those people I trust or talk to me when ever.
I have been there for many on my trip, listened and get advice.
Wasted time, money, energy and love....
Because when you give, you hope to get something back.
But who has been there for me (FOR REAL) when I needed it?
Only ONE that I can remember.
And his name is Joey Jinius.
( I am not talking about my friends from back home that I met here )

2 days ago, when I had my talk to my friend I broke down.
I sat on the bathroom floor and cried like a baby.
Only because I realised so many things, and I felt so good afterwards.
I felt so good that I got anxiety over it.
I don't have many troubles I worry about, but those I have I try to deal with.
Sometimes I just need to be CONFIRMED.
Like many other people.

You need someone to tell you that you are awesome and good.
Or that they love you or other stuff.
Or sometimes when someone hurted you,
the only thing that is needed is a "SORRY".!%20%20Sorry%20!.jpg

This is it for today...


Ego and Money mean shit...

Welcome to realisation in the world friends.
Wake up and open your eyes and look around you, do something.
Do something with yourself.

Yesterday night I ended up in a deep and long conversation
with omeone that is really close to me.
I then realised that my life isn't too bad after all.
After all I've seen that night. I am lucky.

After playing with the children in the age of 5 that is walking around in Patong,
at 03:00 am trying to sell neckless to drunken tourists to make a living, to help their parents.
Is that a happy childhood?
I started to play with one of the girls.
And one after the other lined up in a row to be the next to play with me.
They wanted to be children!!!!
I carried them around, upside down and I was a carousell to them.
When I putted down one girl, another one stand next to me and pulls my shorts and says:
- Now me, now me.

I realised that my problems are nothing compared to the rest that is going on in the world.
Even though you always have something to complain about.
I was surrounded by "real people".
Those who have troubles and share them instead of putting
a fake smile on their face, be superficial and act like nothing ever happened.

For those who know me, I don't like fake. I see fake clearly but I don't say it.
And when I do, they know it and feel bad about it.
I am not superficial and never will be, and if I am it's only for a moment.
Let say if I don't like the person for exemple.

I aslo realised that MONEY means SHIT!
Even if money can get you in really fucked up situations and troubles.
It's a security for many people, but it's also bad for those who can't handle it.
It can make you do crazy shit.
Many people are miserable because of it and some are just greedy and want more.
I've been one of them, but I realised what it ment. NOTHING!
I rather be happy and poor then miserable and rich.
The only thing that mean something is TRUST, LOVE and RESPECT!
I only wish that the rest of the world would realise that.

Anyway... I realised that I am living a great life because I will never let myself down. Never.
I trust myself more then anyone else on this planet.
I still have my selfrespect, and I am confident.
Of course it happens that you meet people and get off track.
Feel bad or depressed because the person is not on the same level as you
or as confident with him/her self as you are.
Or they are just afraid or not ready to meet a strong charachter they can not be able to handle.

The last couple of days, I had many feelings about stuff that I have been surrounded by.
And most of the time I am always right.
I met some other strong charachters as myself, and I felt a strong connection right away.
Maybe this is because I can see other people miserable even if they don't show it?

One of this persons, I knew right away that something was really wrong.
Call me weird, but I am better then I know myself of reading other people.
(of course it happens that I am very wrong too)
But at least I don't judge people and actually I don't care
much about how people look like or act sometimes,
because the thing that matters to me is what they have inside.
But of course you have to set a line somewhere as well....

Tonight I ended up with one of this persons anyway,
had some time to talk about personal things and problems with each other.
Even if I don't know this person,
I think it felt good for both of us to open up to a stranger that you doesn't really know you.

Another person we have been spending some time with
the last couple of days is a thai girl.
I've had a hard time to get used to it, but this girl I liked right away.
She is a cool, smart, pretty, funny and a crazy girl. Just like myself.
But, you saw in her eyes that she was sad. It was heartbreaking.
And I complain about my life....
The only thing many of the Thai girls want is just hoping to find their big true love,
like many other girls do around the world. (even me)
But are being left alone in the end over and over again.

I try to deal with my problems, otherwise they will grow bigger until I expload.
If you take care of yourself, you feel better and don't have anything on your back.
Or a stone in your stumache.
That's why many of my close friends like me, I got it confirmed by many.
I am honest and say what I like, and I stand for it.
But I also know that I am far from perfect, but I am fine with it.
I am who I am. Like any other human. We are just one big family.

This is it for tonight.
Update later. Good night Lots of Love / Lee

Some old ones

Found this one of me and Jane.
Waaaaaahhhh... I MISS MY LONG HAIR!
Look, it's so loooong weh weh weh


Christmas 2006. DaDDy Do!


Worlds best kitty cat....


Need no words for this one...


All the bee's L tried to kill while renovating. from "THE HOUSE" in Akarp.


George needs a place with my picture.
Best security man on the best club at home.
Awesome and big, tall dude.


A picture of how OWNED you can get when you pass out from too much alcohol.
On picture: (my x) Lasse and Annas x, My.


Pippi Langstocking. (How you should experience it)


Mollan. Home sweet home.


Mmmmmmm ice cream

Me and Chambers on Etage 2008

Me and my best bud, Michel. One of the most fucked up nights in my life.


This is what I love to spend time with when I am home...

Me and Hannes. Matching without knowing it.

Sophie and Josephine. My girls. Hungover.

Horse riding with Josephine a normal wednesday 2008.

Swedish militairy outside of Lund

Klicka för att stänga bilden

Mr K and I putted some dish washing liquid in the washing mashine.
Result: Foam overflow....

Me, Laszlo and Carro on Kos, Greece many many many years ago.

Michel and I.

Me and Fluff Jonas.

Me and Maja in Vegas

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Got myself an extra nipple on new years eve 2008-2009

Me and Adeline in Mexico. Having fun.

Klicka för att stänga bilden

Some of my retarded friends from America. :)

Sushi Maguro.

Isla Mujeres. Peace in my heart. March 2009!

Mollevangs festivalen 2009, summer at home.

Omri and me, drunkness summer 2009 in Malmo

My, Me and Ahmet. In Gumbet, Turkey August 2009!
A very very good night to remember :)

My house wifes is making me waffles :)

Your personality type: "Laid-back Doer"

People-oriented and fun-loving, they make things more fun for others by their enjoyment.

Living for the moment, they love new experiences.

They dislike theory and impersonal analysis. Interested in serving others.

Likely to be the center of attention in social situations.

Well-developed common sense and practical ability.


Careers that could fit you include:

Actors, painters, comedians, adult entertainers, sales representatives,

teachers, counselors, social workers, child care, fashion designers,

interior decorators, consultants, photographers, musicians, human resources managers,

clerical supervisors, coaches, factory supervisors, food service workers,

receptionists, recreation workers, religious educators, respiratory therapists.

Poker Face

Ok, answer to question:
I don't think I have lost weight.
I gained weight on my trip, wich is the most normal and easy thing to do when you travel.
When you can't control food (buy and cook), drinks, exercise and a normal living.
It's hotter, you get more tired and I drink way to little of water.
But I am working on it at the moment.
So, MAYBE some people are right about that I lost some weight the last month or so.
That is also my goal, but I can not see it myself, so I still work with it until I am satisfied myself.
I need exercise now though. I can't wait to start with the Yoga!
I got some help at the moment. Or more of a tip.
From Carolina Gynning.
Thank you Carolina for making my life a bit easier at the moment.

I am back in Phuket since couple of days ago.
Starting to feel like I did the last time...
I'm happy as hell, I'm having fun and I'm relaxed etc.
But I realised that I'm paranoid. And afraid.
I don't know what I am afraid off really.
But I'm mostly WORRIED.
Worried that my smile will go away, when I least expect it.
That the stone I carry around in my stumach will get heavier and heavier.
And if my worries show up, the stone will expload.

Every day the same words repeat itself in my head:
"It's gonna happen when you least expect it"

And I know it will.
I am just too emotionell here, but only from day to day.
Sometimes I want to lay down and cry and sometimes I want to have as much fun I can.
My closest friends that I met down here, noticed that it was something different with me.
- No Shit Sherlock!
But you know what they say: "BIG GIRLS DON'T CRY"
Pokerface is also a solution at the moment.

As long as I am busy, I don't think about the stuff that is haunting me.
But that's not good, to keep it in. I know.
So I try to let it go to feel better, but it's harder then I thought.
It wont go away.

Me and Magnus went with his friend and the funny massage girl to Karon Beach today.
Sitting there in the sun, swimming with bigger waves then in Bali made me realise one thing.
I am so glad I have people in my life that
appriciate me for who I am, no matter how stupid I am.

Those you can trust and love. I had an urge to call Marcello.
My little Marzieeeel, feels like my little brother.... So anyway, I did.
It felt so good to hear his voice. I haven't talked to him for almost 8 months.
Almost just 1 month to go, then I'll be home and gonna play with all of you

I can't wait.
Love you all.

By the way. Lady Gaga....

No matter how weird you are and how weird makeup you are wearing
and how weird costumes / clothes you are wearing....
I still think that Lady Gaga is AWESOME, ODD and speciell!
And fucking COOL!

Best Halloween Costume ever!!!

It's ok to be you! :D


Ehm spending too much time to experience Phuket for real this time.
So I don't really know what to write at the moment. My head is blank since last night.
Yeah, that's for sure, cuz I had nothing in it (my head).
Gonna go in and meet Magnus now and gonna feel like
"what the fuck happened there?" and feel a bit "blank" for a while today.
Awesome....Last night was crazy....
Got stopped by police, lights shut of in a store while we were in it etc etc.
And then the clubs, fishing our own shrimps in a pool, and just a bit of tooooo much of the good.
I was just laughing the whole time because it was NUTS!
Couple of more days then I'm off.... again.

I understand why men think's this is heaven. And for once they got the attension.
I saw sooooo many people having sex last night.
It was soooo crazy I couldn't believe my eyes! HAHA.
Well, who cares?

Time to go to Patong again. Seeeeeeeeee ya

"My boys"

Me and Maja talked about our "boys from back home" yesterday.
It felt good, and I realised that I miss them alot, just like her.
It's those guys that's always there no matter what.
It can go weeks, months that you don't talk to them,
but you know that they always will be there for you when you need it.
I haven't seen them for months and months, wich is hard sometimes.
We all have out personal life but our crew will always stick together even if some of us fight from time to time.It's those guys that is honest with you, you trust and never let you down.
And always will be the same and treat you right.
I don't know what I would do without "MY BOYS".
I love them alot, even if I don't show it that often.

So, guys, if any of you read this.... You know that I love you! :)

This is a picture with only 3 of them. A fucked one, but this is how I see them :)
Christofer, Jonas and Linus.

I'll be home in June.... No real summer without Lee! :)



There is a lost soul that is haunting me.
Walking around in circles. Confused.
Trying to find something that's not there.

Everywhere I go, anything I do, it's there.
Even in my dreams and it doesn't stop.
It doesn't stop until the unfinished business is
finished and the soul can find the way home to it's person again.
It's not in my head and I know I'm right.
And so do you. Even if you don't want to.
But you know it deep within.
So, come over and find your lost soul, it's here waiting to get picked up.
Once you pick it up, you wont be feeling alone anymore.
I swear.

Just a tip.

With great love from the one who found it....

Songkran Thai New Year

Happy New Year Thailand!!

I think I had one of the best and funniest experiences of Thailand yesterday.

In my eyes, Phuket changed completely!

It was so much fun and it only took me 5 minutes

walking outside of the airport and I was totally laughing my ass off all ready.

I got to Phuket town, left my bags and took a motorbike taxi to Kata.



And everyone was happy happy happy.

It was just to accept it, if you say stop or run,

people will run after you and do it 20 times worst for you!

When I arrived in Kata, I was soked allready .... but happy anyway.

Then I met MAJA and KEILAN. It was so weird but so NICE!

I realised that I missed Maja alot.

We drove around, getting more wet, trying to find a place that had food.

We found a bar of course. They had a free BBQ! =)

Drank one beer and ate everything from shrimps, pork,

egg, spareribs, chicken, rice, soup etc etc.

And we borrowed some water guns from the friendly thai girl NAK

to soke everyone that passed by.

It was hilarious! (Typical my childish behaviour)

After HOURS, I realised that I wasn't feeling very well.

Since I was sick with a cold etc before I left Bali,

it was only getting worst and I almost passed out.

But don't worry, I am fine.


I've been couchsurfing on Maja and Keilans sofa today

and I think I'm going to do that for one more night.

(Good way to save money)

Now I'm absolutely starving!!!!

Time for breakfast.


Look at the videos. Imagine doing that! :)


And another one....

A little bit of Bali for those who doesn't have facebook ;)

Look like my old snake I had. A python :)

Kitty Cat and Pussy Cat with a snake.... Meow....

A full normal tuesday in Kuta, Bali 2010.

Were hiding in this peaceful cave for a while in Uluwatu
and found beautiful shells and found good harmony.
Like alot...

Same cave but a different exit. Really nice.
Good for just sit and relax.

Really slow internet connection at this moment, and uploading of
pictues takes for ever and ever so I guess I have to upload more LATER!

Singapore and Phuket, here we go again.

Ubud, Bali

Second day in Ubud.

The only thing that is really really expensive here in Ubud is the food.

Sometimes it's the prices we have is Sweden and that's alot.

Ubud is in general expensive and exclusive.

Mostly rich ”resort people” who lives here and do alot of shopping.


Yesterday we went to the market, wich is cheap!

I wanted to shop until I dropped, and I wish I could.

But I can't and it sucks. I miss shopping. :(

Anyway, all 3 of us made a really good deal though.

A big buddah's face to hang on the wall, so all of us bought one each.

In Sweden I think I have to pay around 1500 Sek for the same thing.

I payed 120.000 rupiah wich is around 80 Sek. Best deal in town!

My first really souvenir to bring with me back home.



AND, we got another weird mask each - FOR FREE!!! =)



And then I found a t-shirt, not a typical tourist t-shirt.

This one is from Ripcurl, hand painted I guess.

A Bali t-shirt, with all the places we've been to in Bali.

Really different and cool. Likey likey alot.



And now I don't know if I have to move back home to my own appartment

when I arrive home since the girl that lives there now is moving out

the first of July and my roomie on Möllan is going to move in with his girl friend.

Hmmmm.... I really liked Möllan and that appartment.

And the guys of course. What should I do?

Move back to the appartment I haven't been in for 2 years?

I don't know about that. I rather not.

The thought hitted me couple of times tonight,

and the only thing I miss about it, is my sofa and bed.

To decorate, paint, and re-furnish in the appartment.

I wish I had more money so I could buy shit loads of stuff here

and send back home to my appartment and just decorate the whole

appartment as good as new when I go back.

Ohhh, that would be so much fun!!!!!

I can spend days of doing that kind of stuff.

And it feels like it haven't gone one second since I started.



Today have been a girly day. since we are going to have ”A DIVORCE”

on tuesday morning, like Annicas dad said on the phone ;) haha.

Me and Annica went alone in town to get a acupressure massage,

get a haircut and coloring, lunch and then were suppose to go to the

art museum but it rained alot and didn't have umbrellas.

So we had a wet t-shirt contest on the way home with our white t-shirts.

Annica won big time.


And btw, my hair is really short now.

Haven't been this short for over 10 years.

But I needed it and it actually feels really good, I like it and the colour too.

Like my mum and Annica said – You look old and mature. HA!


I discovered SIMS on Annicas mobile phone today

so I've been hooked on playing SIMS for hours and hours. =)

Tomorrow we are going to the museum's around Ubud,

and I'm gonna try to pack my bag somehow, so I can be

ready to rise and shine at 05.00 on tuesday morning. Gaaaah!

Hopefully I'll see a bit of Singapore before my

other connection flight leaves to Phuket. (damn this Phuket)


Time to sleep.


Take care my sweet sweet sugar....

Flight booked!

Fixed myself a ticket away from Bali on tuesday to Singapore.
From Singapore back to my favourite place - PHUKET!
(Very very ironic joke)
*The never ending story* Land of the lost!
Lucky me, it's just a short stop to meet Maja & Keilan hopefully.
And then Magnus I guess.
I have couple of days before I start the Yoga course so I guess
I'll stay only couple of days and then be heading to Koh Phagnan
to settle down a bit before the course.

Tomorrow we are leaving Uluwatu to see Ubud a little bit better then from a car.
There are no stores here and food are expensive.
We walked very far today just to eat somewhere else and buy credit for our phones.
But without luck because they didn't sell any credit, just in the next village. HA!
So, I fell a sleep on the beach in PADANG PADANG instead.

Well, anyway. I don't have much more to tell you guys today.
Not more then the mosqitos loves me, but that's nothing new! :)
At least someone does hehe.
I can't wait to get back home in june actually.
I miss everone soooo mucho mucho!

Love and peace

And by the way:
- KARI, du skrev ingen mail i ditt inlagg och hur har du funnit min blogg??
Med tanke pa att Joe inte har hort av sig alls till mig sa slosar
jag bara min dyrbara tid pa ingenting kanns det som.
Men jag hoppas att det gar bra for Jonas och Espen i alla fall!
Ha en bra dag.

No matter what

I just have to say that I miss you....

And it hurts to not have you around.

Dream land, Uluwatu and Turtle Island

Unexplainable things have happened lately.

Dreams that I had months ago became reality.

And I remember them so well, but it's not the action that is happening in the dream,

and the people I am with, just the places I visit in my dream.


Today we drove to ”Dream Land” in Bali.

When we arrived, I saw a beach, big waves, cliffs and a sunset.

and people were selling stuff on the beach.

In my dream I was with 2 people. One girl and one boy.

I had this dream when I came home from Mexico,

so I thought it was Adeline and Tim in my dream with me.

Apperently not. It was Annica and Johan.

And in my dream it they were selling swedish stuff on the beach.

So maybe that's the connection?

And that's just one thing out of many...

Today has been a long day.

I spendt way too much of my last money that I don't have.

And like I said to Annica before,

it's a really pain in the ass for me to be around people with money because

I feel like a F*cking looserand I can't do anything about it really.

So, I TOTALLY understand how ”MR. FUCK” felt in the

beginning of my trip when we were in Penang, Malaysia with Frix.

It was a bit hard for me to understand it when he told me.

But now I know how it feels like.

I am down on my last penny's and I can't do shit about it.


I can't think clear, I am unfocused and lost.

But I also feel lonely no matter how many people I have around me.

But now at least I am comfertable with it.

And of course everyone around me can feel how miserable

I am feeling because of this too.

The vibe between me, Annica and Johan is not the best.

And that's a fact, no matter what they say!

That's also why I said that I need to leave, soon!

I don't think they can't understand how I feel.

And I don't think they want to either.


Anyway. Today we went to the Turtle Island.

We heard it was suppose to be free big wild turtles on the beach etc.

They really ripped us off, because it was worth shit.

They had 20 turtles, not in the wild.

On the beach and in water but it was like a big big cage.

Then they had other funny animals as a big Bat, birds, snakes etc.

But it was just to rip off tourists, wich I HATE!



We ended up in Uluwatu, wich is nice and quiet compared to KUTA.

Got a big big room, shaped lwith 7 squared walls.

It's gigantic, you can probably fit 7 more beds in here.

The bed is in the middle and when I walked inside of the room,

it looked very familiar. Like I've been there before.

Another dream I had, but this one I can't remember really.

Or place in my head.



We saw monkeys and Annica and Johan payed 70.000 (60 kr ca)

to se the Balinese dance. I could not afford it, so I waited outside.

I sat on the side and a monkey and it's baby came and sat down

next to me and looked at me. Nice. Just nice.

In the same moment our driver came and he said he have been looking for me.

He paid my entrance fee so I could see the Balinese dance as well.

God bless this man, he was so kind.

The Balinese dance was really cool.

Spirituell, and speciell.



The last couple of days I had weird dreams, and I remember them well.

Last night I was in the United States,

jumped off a bus middle of the country side to search for someone.

It was a weird feeling but I found this someone (who ever it was).

There were horses and goats around me and I came to a ”Bed and Breakfast place”

It was a feeling like I was home.


That's it for today.

See ya'll later, ciao. Peace and Love. / Lee


A plan for peace

I've had many thought running around in my brain the last couple of days.

While thinking about this, I realised that the offer I got as a Marketing Manager here in Kuta, Bali is NOT me.

Maybe if I force myself just because of the money I can make,

but I don't think I will bring me happyness in long term,

just the temporary happyness like many other things.

But I am really desperate after a job, and that's when you do crazy stuff.


I made up my mind anyway – And I am not going to take it!

And since I received a e-mail from a friend of mine with a better

offer the same day, I planned to go for this chanse instead.

It's a MONTH AGAMA YOGA COURSE on Koh Phagnan, Thailand.



I got the offer to do it months ago,

and YES it has been on my mind the whole time and I planned

to take it before my trip home as a good end of my travel that had it's

up and downs the whole time.

But every time, something came in the way.

Money, job or other complications.

But I think I just wasn't ready at the time and NOW is the best time for me.

He is going to do me a BIG favour that helps me in long term,

and I am going to help him as much as I can.


I am more then ready for this now.

To relax, find inner peace and feel better inside.

Maybe find my way, and realise one thing and another in life.

I should have done it months ago, but I had to realise it myself.


I am like many other people, I have to do it myself, realise it myself,

and then climb up the ladder myself.

I can not be pushed by others,

then I will just fall down again and have to climb up the same

ladder million of times over and over again. Until I learn my lesson.

But I am a curious person and I do stupid stuff sometimes,

like any other human being that doesn't feel secure.

But, once you realised what you did is wrong, you don't do it again.

Then you get more selfrespect and feel secure again.

This can take a long time for many people.


And it's actually the only thing I need at the moment,

since I felt a bit lost and lonely the last couple of weeks / months.

I take the chance, everything is an experience.

No matter if it's good or bad.


But since I love YOGA, when I've done it before

I don't think I will regret myself doing it.

And since AGAMA YOGA is famous and good, I trust it.

And I trust him, my friend.


I have alot of things to do now, before I go.

So this is the end of my blog post at the moment.

I know I haven't written something in days,

but internet costs alot here and I want to spend as much time as I can

with Annica and Johan before we say goodbye to eachother.

Even if we'll meet back home in June again :)

I am also more then ready to go back to the reality in Malmö again.

It's going to be a BABYBOOM when I come home. OMG!

Anyway. Talk to you guys later.


Ciao. Love and Peace. Lee

Picture update...

Lee does it asian style. Bum for life.
Or, it's just because someone STOLE my new 1 Euro golden shoes?
I think so!

Yes, this is who I am. Believe it or not.

Johan, Annica and Me, watching the sunset on Kuta Beach, Bali.

Johan and me. Outside of Reggea bar, acting it MONKEY STYLE


I also like to hit guys in the head with baguettes for no reason....

I have noooo idea to be honest...

I like your mustash hahahahaha

So you think you can dance hahahaha

Opertunity of a lifetime! (?)

After couple of days, I am really really running short with my money.

I am broker then brokest and I have no idea what to do.

I heard that they are not hirering westerners in Indonesia if you don't have a work permit,

and it's very hard to get. Laws here as very shitty.

But I got myself a very good connection!


Anyway, 2 days ago we decided to go to ”Joe's Place”

and just listen to live music and relax from our big hangover.

(Party big time the day before.)

I had a good vibe in my body and I told myself: I want to work here!

Or actually, I want to work with this guy. He is cool.

I pointed my finger at the guy who played the bongo drum and told Annica

that I needed to talk to this guy. Joe.

I met him once when I was there in January too.

(Best text before enter the bar, love it!

And now they have another slogan: KILL YOUR EGO!)


We talked and I got offered a better deal then I thought.

His buissness plan is big.

I'm not going to reveal too much but it looks good and I have a good feeling.

And I trust my feelings.

The new place is called Carpe Diem and he took me over there with his bike

and showed me around. It was absolutely fantastic and beautiful.

My offer is to become a MARKETING MANAGER.

It's a real job, real good salery and they give me a place to stay.

They give me a work permit and they hire westerners.

Training for a month and then we talk about good money.

But it's going to be hard, hard, hard but I NEED and WANT this.

They also want Bartender and other manager positions.

If I do take it, the contract is min. 2 years.


Soooo....That's my only problem.  TWO YEARS!

Do I want to stay here for 2 years?

To stay in KUTA takes alot of energy and it can make you really tired.

But I think you can get use to it and control it after a while.

I do want to stay....BUT ... I also want to get home for a while.

I miss my friends and family alot.

And I have a urge to see them since I haven't seen them for 8 months soon.

But, this may be a life time opertunity, so I have no idea what to do?

It's just alot of money in the way. Like always.

So, maybe I should stay after all?

I don't want to turn down Joe either...



Where is my guide now when I need him?


HELP ME, I'm a bit scared!


Thank you sun, for bleaching my brown hair in the sun to dark-blond-redish!

Haha, but I actually like the colour. What do you guys think?

This is how goofy I look at the moment with my nerd glasses,

eating a ice-cream in the rain!



Hello, Yes, Transport?

Bali, for the second time.
Yesterday was one of the best nights in a long time.
But you can feel you are getting older now,
all 3 of us have been completely dead today.
It was a blast, so it was worth it. Long time.
And we went fucking nuts at the SKY GARDEN!

I love Bali!

More to come later.
Surf's up dude.

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