Why is it so hard when it can be so easy?
I know I've been bad at updating my blog lately.
I have my days.
Now around christmas and new year,
I try not to sit so much in front of the computer...
No, I love to do stuff.
Even if it's not much to do in this weather (outside anyway).
I have to do something with my time anyway.
I am more then happy when people ask me if I want to do stuff or go anywhere.
Even if I can't do everything at once.
It's fun to invite someone over. And to be invited.
But sometimes it just takes all of your energy to invite someone over and over again....
And in the end, you stop invite this person over.
It's just no fun anymore.
Some friends is really comfortable at home. I am too.
But not TOO comfortable. So where do YOU draw the line?
I love when someone calls me and just drops by.
Those who WANT to hang out, without PLANNING it a week in advance.
And the ones who appriciate you when they come over and enjoy it.
Those kind of people you can sit up all night and talk to and the conversations never ends.
That's what I like. That's what gives me a good mood and good energy.
That's also when you start a relation with someone.
Getting to know someone. Having conversations.
Yes, a friendship is also a relation, same as a relationship with the opposite sex.
Well, for those who didn't knew that already –
Congratulations you learned something today!
So what about those people where the conversation ends?
When the silence eats you out from the inside and out?
Do you stop seeing those people? Even if you like them?
I normally don't have any trouble talking.
Lately I've been analyzing more then talking though.
And when people don't ask me anything, I don't really know what to say.
(If I don't know them too well.)
Until today when I realized that people maybe sees me as boring
Maybe it's just THEY who are boring and I have nothing to say to them?
I also feel that THEY are uncomfortable in silence while I'm not.
Then you need an ICE BREAKER.
I choose my words wisely like I've said before...
Somehow I find it more interesting to have conversation with those who are a bit older.
Or just those who have done a lot in life and have more
experience about stuff that I don't have.
When I can learn, listen and talk about stuff that I normally don't talk about.
That's when I grow. New interests. I love it.
Why are this easy things so hard sometimes?
How hard can it be? Seriously?
Today I also realized that I AM NOT done with my traveling.
After my “up & down Asia trip” I thought that I was finished with my traveling.
No - Not even close! I have so much more to see and do.
And somehow I still can't see myself as a Swede who live in Sweden 100%.
My heart doesn't belong here. It doesn't feel right somehow.
The piece of puzzle is still missing.
I am more then satisfied to be home and to be around my friends who I care so much about.
But to live 50% in Sweden would be more perfect. During the summer for exemple.
I just have to deal with my economy and then I'll say bye bye again!
Now at least I can work almost anywhere I like, cuz I have my job with me all the time.
So hopefully I'll get a job somewhere else in the world.I also get so happy when I see someone who are a foreigner in Sweden.
Don't ask me why.
I met David's girlfriend for the first time today,
and since she is older, smarter and a foreigner –
I liked her a lot and I'm looking forward to see her again soon before she goes back to Dubai.
Well, this is everything from me today.
Later folks! Ta ta.. goodnight and sleep tight.
My wheel pose
It's alot of fun to have the whole gym to yourself.
And the pose is fun. And it's a lot of fun to walk around like this too.
Hahaha...
So when you have some extra time, you can take photos! :)
YAY... Sparetime...I like...
The little devil in me....
Sorry mates. I've been lazy with my writing....
But I have to do this in Swedish.
Nu ska jag ner på stan och se vad jag kan finna...
Alla saker som jag behöver och har sökt i dagar är slut!!!
Julen för mig har varit upp & ner. Men det är inget som är ovanligt.
Tårar har kommit, tårar har torkats. Kramar har getts och kramar har fåtts.
I det stora hela så är allt bra i alla fall och det är huvudsaken!
En sak till jag måste säga är att jag för några veckor /
månader sedan sa att jag var problem fri.
Akk så fel jag hade. Jag hade dock ett stort tungt problem ur världen just då.
Men fler väntade bakom kröken.
Dom ligger på kö, och när man har tagit tag i det ena så kommer det andra.
Livet är ett stort test och man får helt enkelt se hur långt man klarar det.
Och det finns fler saker som måste komma ut, men jag vet inte hur.
Det kommer att göra ont. Mest i mig.
Jag vet inte hur jag ska handskas med det problemet för jag kommer bara förlora på det.
Just nu känner jag att jag har ett uppehåll i från allting.
Det kan även vara pga att jag har "jul-lov" när det gäller Yogan.
Ja det gör ju himla mycket när det gäller mitt välbefinnande och min andliga sida.
Jag blir stabil som fan med andra ord ;)
Det känns verkligen som om man har en djävul på en axel och en ängel på en.
Så som man ser i tecknade filmer ni vet.
Där dom står och pratar med en: - Do this, do that...
Och man vet inte vem man ska lyssna på.
Min glömda sida som jag försöker bli av med kommer fram då och då.
Då när jag är allt jag inte är annars.
En djävul.
Jag kan göra allt och lite till. Ingenting hindrar mig.
Jag går med på det mesta med andra ord.
Och skäms inte över något heller.
Jag blir rädd för denna Lee ibland.
Men ibland är det sjukt skönt att låta henne springa fritt och göra sitt.
Och inte orka tänka på vad som är rätt och fel hela tiden.
Jag gör det som faller mig in, och kan vara ganska eftertänksam.
Men det är bara ibland hon kommer fram. Mest på kvällskvisten.
Hon syntes ofta då alkohol och annat var inblandat.
Nä. Nu är det dags för mig att gå....
Igår umgicks jag med min djävuls vän. Malin.
Hon får fram en galen sida hos mig. Jag blir farlig.
Akta er.
But I have to do this in Swedish.
Nu ska jag ner på stan och se vad jag kan finna...
Alla saker som jag behöver och har sökt i dagar är slut!!!
Julen för mig har varit upp & ner. Men det är inget som är ovanligt.
Tårar har kommit, tårar har torkats. Kramar har getts och kramar har fåtts.
I det stora hela så är allt bra i alla fall och det är huvudsaken!
En sak till jag måste säga är att jag för några veckor /
månader sedan sa att jag var problem fri.
Akk så fel jag hade. Jag hade dock ett stort tungt problem ur världen just då.
Men fler väntade bakom kröken.
Dom ligger på kö, och när man har tagit tag i det ena så kommer det andra.
Livet är ett stort test och man får helt enkelt se hur långt man klarar det.
Och det finns fler saker som måste komma ut, men jag vet inte hur.
Det kommer att göra ont. Mest i mig.
Jag vet inte hur jag ska handskas med det problemet för jag kommer bara förlora på det.
Just nu känner jag att jag har ett uppehåll i från allting.
Det kan även vara pga att jag har "jul-lov" när det gäller Yogan.
Ja det gör ju himla mycket när det gäller mitt välbefinnande och min andliga sida.
Jag blir stabil som fan med andra ord ;)
Det känns verkligen som om man har en djävul på en axel och en ängel på en.
Så som man ser i tecknade filmer ni vet.
Där dom står och pratar med en: - Do this, do that...
Och man vet inte vem man ska lyssna på.
Min glömda sida som jag försöker bli av med kommer fram då och då.
Då när jag är allt jag inte är annars.
En djävul.
Jag kan göra allt och lite till. Ingenting hindrar mig.
Jag går med på det mesta med andra ord.
Och skäms inte över något heller.
Jag blir rädd för denna Lee ibland.
Men ibland är det sjukt skönt att låta henne springa fritt och göra sitt.
Och inte orka tänka på vad som är rätt och fel hela tiden.
Jag gör det som faller mig in, och kan vara ganska eftertänksam.
Men det är bara ibland hon kommer fram. Mest på kvällskvisten.
Hon syntes ofta då alkohol och annat var inblandat.
Nä. Nu är det dags för mig att gå....
Igår umgicks jag med min djävuls vän. Malin.
Hon får fram en galen sida hos mig. Jag blir farlig.
Akta er.
Karma kontot!
Jag vet faktiskt inte riktigt vad jag håller på med.
Jag orkar inte ens tänka på det.
Folk snokar mer än vad jag faktiskt själv gör i det hela.
Men jag förblir hemlig. Jag talar inte öppet längre om vad som sker i min vardag.
I alla fall inte till alla.... Några... Och så förblir det.
Därutav skriver jag inget heller, det är slut på att ute lämna mig.
Jag väljer varmt med hjärtat om vad jag kan skriva öppet om på internet och inte.
Folk ska inte ha det SÅÅÅÅ roligt! :)
Jag tar i alla fall allting som det kommer och lägger inte ner en
sekunds energi på att analysera saker och ting längre.
Det har jag gjort tillräckligt i mina dagar känns det som och orkar helt enkelt inte.
Det är bara rätt onödigt för jag är nöjd med allt i dags läget och uppskattar det lilla jag har.
Blir oerhört rörd över att nytt folk i mitt liv verkligen bryr sig och lägger tid på en.
Det värmer oerhört :) och uppskattar det djupt!
Jag är väldigt glad över mitt dags läge. Mitt hem. Mitt singel liv och min framtid.
Jag kan göra vad jag vill, när jag vill och min frihets känsla är underbar!
Har fått många ut pustningar de senaste dagarna.
Vissa saker / människor kan jag titta på idag och verkligen SE problemen eller vad som är fel.
Jag har inte haft fel hittils. Och jag lär mig även att se mina egna.
Det som jag alltid har trott varit problem som ligger i "mina händer"
har faktiskt aldrig legat hos mig.
Men jag har tagit många smällar ändå och lagt över många andra problem på mig.
Någon sa till mig att jag visar att jag är en människa med
ett öppet hjärta och tycker/tänker det bästa om de jag har runt om mig.
Och det är sant. För jag ser oftast aldrig något som är dåligt.
Jag ser det som är bra - OFTAST I DOM VÄRSTA!!! (tragiskt nog)
Därutav har jag limmat ihop hjärtat med karlssons klister många gånger....
Sen är det lätt att vara efter klok ibland, men det tillhör min charm.
Men men... karma...
Jag börjar även förstå att jag ligger rätt bra på det när det gäller många andra ute i världen.
Att börja rannsaka sig själv, sitt inre och sota för allt man
gjort tidigare är ett bränna av sin karma lite.
Karman är där NO MATTER WHAT.
Jag lär mig av mina misstag i dagens läge iaf.
Börjar kännas bra att folk verkligen börjar lyssna på vad jag har att säga nu.
Jag antar att jag är mer vuxen än vad jag tror att jag är.
Jaja... Detta var allt för ikväll.. jag fryser röven av mig nu så nu väntar sängen! :)
Toodeloooo
Jag orkar inte ens tänka på det.
Folk snokar mer än vad jag faktiskt själv gör i det hela.
Men jag förblir hemlig. Jag talar inte öppet längre om vad som sker i min vardag.
I alla fall inte till alla.... Några... Och så förblir det.
Därutav skriver jag inget heller, det är slut på att ute lämna mig.
Jag väljer varmt med hjärtat om vad jag kan skriva öppet om på internet och inte.
Folk ska inte ha det SÅÅÅÅ roligt! :)
Jag tar i alla fall allting som det kommer och lägger inte ner en
sekunds energi på att analysera saker och ting längre.
Det har jag gjort tillräckligt i mina dagar känns det som och orkar helt enkelt inte.
Det är bara rätt onödigt för jag är nöjd med allt i dags läget och uppskattar det lilla jag har.
Blir oerhört rörd över att nytt folk i mitt liv verkligen bryr sig och lägger tid på en.
Det värmer oerhört :) och uppskattar det djupt!
Jag är väldigt glad över mitt dags läge. Mitt hem. Mitt singel liv och min framtid.
Jag kan göra vad jag vill, när jag vill och min frihets känsla är underbar!
Har fått många ut pustningar de senaste dagarna.
Vissa saker / människor kan jag titta på idag och verkligen SE problemen eller vad som är fel.
Jag har inte haft fel hittils. Och jag lär mig även att se mina egna.
Det som jag alltid har trott varit problem som ligger i "mina händer"
har faktiskt aldrig legat hos mig.
Men jag har tagit många smällar ändå och lagt över många andra problem på mig.
Någon sa till mig att jag visar att jag är en människa med
ett öppet hjärta och tycker/tänker det bästa om de jag har runt om mig.
Och det är sant. För jag ser oftast aldrig något som är dåligt.
Jag ser det som är bra - OFTAST I DOM VÄRSTA!!! (tragiskt nog)
Därutav har jag limmat ihop hjärtat med karlssons klister många gånger....
Sen är det lätt att vara efter klok ibland, men det tillhör min charm.
Men men... karma...
Jag börjar även förstå att jag ligger rätt bra på det när det gäller många andra ute i världen.
Att börja rannsaka sig själv, sitt inre och sota för allt man
gjort tidigare är ett bränna av sin karma lite.
Karman är där NO MATTER WHAT.
Jag lär mig av mina misstag i dagens läge iaf.
Börjar kännas bra att folk verkligen börjar lyssna på vad jag har att säga nu.
Jag antar att jag är mer vuxen än vad jag tror att jag är.
Jaja... Detta var allt för ikväll.. jag fryser röven av mig nu så nu väntar sängen! :)
Toodeloooo
Collector of good moments
When the door to the car is frozen and you can not open it because it's full of snow.....
I smile.
The music is streaming into my ears with Gorillaz – Dare
I dream away to Isla Mujeres in Mexico.
Suddenly I was on the wooden dance floor, in the beach-bar outside of Pocna hostel.
The sand were hot under my bare feets.
The same music every night, the same dances and so much fun.
Next to me, one of my best friends Maja were spinning around in her little world.
That's when I smile to her and just love to be there with her.
I shared good memories and moments in that beach bar!
With many people.
And in that moment, it felt so much better to walk in the snow.
Because in my mind, I was in Mexico and not freezing my ass off like I do now.
That's what I call nice memories.
I AM A COLLECTOR OF GOOD MOMENTS!
I live on them.
Good night sleepy heads :)
A year goes very fast....
It's past bedtime and it's now thursday the 23th of December.
It's Christmas eve tomorrow. Crazy. I can't believe it.
Looked at some old photos from last year when I was working on Raja Laut.
It seems like yesterday but in the same time it feels like so long time ago.
Many things have happened the past year.
Faster then I thought, and in the right direction too.
Forward and not backwards. And that's always a start :)
I'm not stuck on the same path either, which feels really good.
I sure do have been down many roads and tried a little bit of everything.
But the right way is where my heart leads me.....
This is me, a year ago. On the boat. In my christmas dress.
Today my heart led me to my friend My and her baby Lea.
The cutest FLUFFY baby ever!!! :)
We met down town Malmö, took a coffee and then took the train to Lund.
Her man wasn't home (he is doing a music video) so I'm spending the night here too.
And we are going for some shopping tomorrow as well. YAY!
I like the Christmas time. Specially when I can spend time with the ones I love.
I haven't done that for a while so I missed it.
My is one of my dearest friends.
I do not have so many close ones. And I'm more then satisfied with that today.
Earlier in life, this would be a "problem" for me.
Some of them I left behind and closed the door.
But when I closed one door, another one opened.
Because everything happens for a reason and
I manage very good without some people in my life.
Today when I came back from the supermarket I got a Christmas card.
Who could send ME a christmas card?
I allready got one from mum, so.....
Suprisingly it was from Theresia.
Wow! How thoughtful. :) I was very happy!
I went with her and around 8 others to Östra Grevie last sunday.
To a Danish couple that works for THE ART OF LIVING
I was very happy when she asked me because this is what I like to do.
We arrived in the beautiful winter wonderland and started with a little bit of Yoga.
Then a meditation and then we watched a 40 min movie with Sri Sri Ravi Shankar.
THE GURU OF JOY!
This is a little piece of that 40 minutes. About LOVE!
BHAKTI.
I watched many clips with him. I like him.
After watching the movie, we had vegetarian dinner and cake.
A really nice evening after school.
Well, it's time for bed now.
Before you will go to bed too, watch this.
ENJOY :)
It's Christmas eve tomorrow. Crazy. I can't believe it.
Looked at some old photos from last year when I was working on Raja Laut.
It seems like yesterday but in the same time it feels like so long time ago.
Many things have happened the past year.
Faster then I thought, and in the right direction too.
Forward and not backwards. And that's always a start :)
I'm not stuck on the same path either, which feels really good.
I sure do have been down many roads and tried a little bit of everything.
But the right way is where my heart leads me.....
This is me, a year ago. On the boat. In my christmas dress.
Today my heart led me to my friend My and her baby Lea.
The cutest FLUFFY baby ever!!! :)
We met down town Malmö, took a coffee and then took the train to Lund.
Her man wasn't home (he is doing a music video) so I'm spending the night here too.
And we are going for some shopping tomorrow as well. YAY!
I like the Christmas time. Specially when I can spend time with the ones I love.
I haven't done that for a while so I missed it.
My is one of my dearest friends.
I do not have so many close ones. And I'm more then satisfied with that today.
Earlier in life, this would be a "problem" for me.
Some of them I left behind and closed the door.
But when I closed one door, another one opened.
Because everything happens for a reason and
I manage very good without some people in my life.
Today when I came back from the supermarket I got a Christmas card.
Who could send ME a christmas card?
I allready got one from mum, so.....
Suprisingly it was from Theresia.
Wow! How thoughtful. :) I was very happy!
I went with her and around 8 others to Östra Grevie last sunday.
To a Danish couple that works for THE ART OF LIVING
I was very happy when she asked me because this is what I like to do.
We arrived in the beautiful winter wonderland and started with a little bit of Yoga.
Then a meditation and then we watched a 40 min movie with Sri Sri Ravi Shankar.
THE GURU OF JOY!
This is a little piece of that 40 minutes. About LOVE!
BHAKTI.
I watched many clips with him. I like him.
After watching the movie, we had vegetarian dinner and cake.
A really nice evening after school.
Well, it's time for bed now.
Before you will go to bed too, watch this.
ENJOY :)
En hel vanlig dag i mitt liv....
Vardags rutiner:
Asa mig in på toaletten väldigt sakta.
Inga hastiga rörelser eller höga ljud på morgonen helst.
Måste hålla mitt lugn. :)
Skrapa tungan, borsta tänderna med både salt och tandkräm.
Sköljer näsan (har varit lite dålig på senaste).
Sen är det dags för iinser eller glasögonen.
Idag fick det bli glasögon.
Nu är jag lite mer redo.
På med datorn och igång med Spotify som vanligt.
Facebook rutin. Jävla facebook.
Jag är mer beroende än vad jag trodde att jag var.
En del av min vanliga rutin börjar bli att gå till Clas Ohlson.
Köpa eller lämna tillbaka. Idag fick jag lämna tillbaka.
Köpte fin ljus-slinga till balkongen igår men den tjocka sladden
klämdes i dörren och väldigt väldigt kall luft kom in i lägenheten.
Och inget annat alternativ fanns....
Så fick bita i det sura äpplet och lämna tillbaka min fina slinga.
På vägen hem så kom jag hem med en tavel ram,
hushållspappers hållare och en julklapp till min fruga.
Inte i från Clas Ohlson dock.
Sen var det städning in i det sista. Också en rutin.
Ibland glömmer jag mina rutiner bara. Men nu är här fint och städat.
Sen kom lunchen. Rutin. Fiskgratäng sedan dagen innan.
Hemma gjord á la Lee spetzial. :)
Sen ringde det på dörren. Ludde. Nästan en rutin det med.
Men bara nästan. Det blev kaffe och prat.
Och med tanke på att Ludde kom så kom givetvis Johan också en stund senare.
En stund senare slängde jag ut dom i väntan av en kund.
Jag hann med en snabb dusch precis innan han kom.
Efter massagen så pratade jag med Frix på Skype.
Andra gången sedan jag lämnade Malaysia.
Alla är fortfarande bosatta på Langkawi och båtjobben går bara bättre och bättre.
Iallafall för honom och det glädjer mig.
Kändes lite konstigt att prata, men allt var som vanligt.
Han satt med sin SKOL öl och pladdrade en massa. :)
Sen kom hungern. Igen. Rutin. Bakad potatis med skagenröra & sallad.
Gäster nummer 4&5 var fru Annica och Papa Hasselnäs.
Te, knäckebröd och pepparkakor till Annica.
Sen var det dags för mer massage. Rumpa och rygg.
Och där har hela min dag gått. Nu sitter jag här. Framför datorn.
Rutin. Både facebook och min blogg.
Om inte jag hade fått skriva av mig så hade jag inte
kunnat tömma min själ på tankar och känslor.
Det lättar på trycket enormt för mig.
Har varit inne många gånger på att bli journalist.
Eller i alla fall skriva en bok.
Det är nog inget jag kommer att lägga ner större tid på men
det hade varit en rolig sak att göra för det är verkligen något jag gillar att göra.
Skriva alltså. Men jag gillar mycket och man hinner ju inte med allt.
Andra rutiner som jag inte hunnit med idag är ju min träning.
Den ska jag ta igen imorgon. Dubbelt upp tänkte jag.
Både Yoga och gym tänkte jag. Om det inte finns något roligt pass att gå på :)
Så då blir det ju nog att jag stannar en sväng med Malin på gymmet också.
Sen har jag ju studierna, men pärmen lämnar jag nog hemma imorgon.
Får väl börja plugga på anatomin nu. Under jul helgen. YAY!
Detoxingen för kött går bra. Äter dock fisk och skaljur än.
Ja för det hade jag nog inte klarat mig utan. Inte skaldjur iaf.
Ja det här en helt vanlig dag ur mitt liv.
Alla dagar ser ju olika ut men detta är nog en typiskt random dag.
Nu är det BINGEN som kallar på mig!
Dags att sova.
Kärlek till er alla.
Asa mig in på toaletten väldigt sakta.
Inga hastiga rörelser eller höga ljud på morgonen helst.
Måste hålla mitt lugn. :)
Skrapa tungan, borsta tänderna med både salt och tandkräm.
Sköljer näsan (har varit lite dålig på senaste).
Sen är det dags för iinser eller glasögonen.
Idag fick det bli glasögon.
Nu är jag lite mer redo.
På med datorn och igång med Spotify som vanligt.
Facebook rutin. Jävla facebook.
Jag är mer beroende än vad jag trodde att jag var.
En del av min vanliga rutin börjar bli att gå till Clas Ohlson.
Köpa eller lämna tillbaka. Idag fick jag lämna tillbaka.
Köpte fin ljus-slinga till balkongen igår men den tjocka sladden
klämdes i dörren och väldigt väldigt kall luft kom in i lägenheten.
Och inget annat alternativ fanns....
Så fick bita i det sura äpplet och lämna tillbaka min fina slinga.
På vägen hem så kom jag hem med en tavel ram,
hushållspappers hållare och en julklapp till min fruga.
Inte i från Clas Ohlson dock.
Sen var det städning in i det sista. Också en rutin.
Ibland glömmer jag mina rutiner bara. Men nu är här fint och städat.
Sen kom lunchen. Rutin. Fiskgratäng sedan dagen innan.
Hemma gjord á la Lee spetzial. :)
Sen ringde det på dörren. Ludde. Nästan en rutin det med.
Men bara nästan. Det blev kaffe och prat.
Och med tanke på att Ludde kom så kom givetvis Johan också en stund senare.
En stund senare slängde jag ut dom i väntan av en kund.
Jag hann med en snabb dusch precis innan han kom.
Efter massagen så pratade jag med Frix på Skype.
Andra gången sedan jag lämnade Malaysia.
Alla är fortfarande bosatta på Langkawi och båtjobben går bara bättre och bättre.
Iallafall för honom och det glädjer mig.
Kändes lite konstigt att prata, men allt var som vanligt.
Han satt med sin SKOL öl och pladdrade en massa. :)
Sen kom hungern. Igen. Rutin. Bakad potatis med skagenröra & sallad.
Gäster nummer 4&5 var fru Annica och Papa Hasselnäs.
Te, knäckebröd och pepparkakor till Annica.
Sen var det dags för mer massage. Rumpa och rygg.
Och där har hela min dag gått. Nu sitter jag här. Framför datorn.
Rutin. Både facebook och min blogg.
Om inte jag hade fått skriva av mig så hade jag inte
kunnat tömma min själ på tankar och känslor.
Det lättar på trycket enormt för mig.
Har varit inne många gånger på att bli journalist.
Eller i alla fall skriva en bok.
Det är nog inget jag kommer att lägga ner större tid på men
det hade varit en rolig sak att göra för det är verkligen något jag gillar att göra.
Skriva alltså. Men jag gillar mycket och man hinner ju inte med allt.
Andra rutiner som jag inte hunnit med idag är ju min träning.
Den ska jag ta igen imorgon. Dubbelt upp tänkte jag.
Både Yoga och gym tänkte jag. Om det inte finns något roligt pass att gå på :)
Så då blir det ju nog att jag stannar en sväng med Malin på gymmet också.
Sen har jag ju studierna, men pärmen lämnar jag nog hemma imorgon.
Får väl börja plugga på anatomin nu. Under jul helgen. YAY!
Detoxingen för kött går bra. Äter dock fisk och skaljur än.
Ja för det hade jag nog inte klarat mig utan. Inte skaldjur iaf.
Ja det här en helt vanlig dag ur mitt liv.
Alla dagar ser ju olika ut men detta är nog en typiskt random dag.
Nu är det BINGEN som kallar på mig!
Dags att sova.
Kärlek till er alla.
I Love my home :)
Waking up in the morning and the feeling is nice.
I for maaaany days slept so much as I wanted to.
And the feeling of a clean apartment feels awesome.
It feels so much lighter in a way.
And since I re-decorated yesterday too, everything came to it's place FINALLY!
It feels good. Really good.
Specially the hallway and kitchen in a way. :)
Now I can ask people to come over too, yay!
Kitchen feels different.
And all the snow on the balcony is so beautiful.
I am so happy that I have a full fridge, cooked food and a nice clean apartment.
It's now time for breakfast. Oatmeal and fruits, yum!
I am so thankful today that I have a roof over my head.
A big bed and a really NICE home to come home to everyday.
Imagine how many people in the world who lives on the street.
I am also very happy that it's 3 days to Christmas eve.
Normally I don't really like the Christmas time because it
feels like everyone gets together "just because"
and force themselves to buy gifts to each other.
I think I have to suffer with this for a day and don't care about it, cuz it's just like that.
Nothing I can do about it.
I buy gifts when ever I feel like, I think that's better!
And then people can appriciate it more too.
Since they get suprised :)
One thing that made me happy last night was that my mum told me that
the mumś side of my family can get together at MY PLACE day after Christmas eve.
That sounded like the absolute perfect idea,
since Leif and my brother have never visited my place before.
And I'm going to spend Christmas eve with my dad.
Well, this is a life for many normal children today - with separated parents.
I've been doing this since I was 6 years old, so I'm pretty used to it.
And I'm not a kid anymore. But I still don't like it.
All the other children who does the same, I understand you!
Now I'm just going to enjoy my clean apartment for a while.
And keep it like this for a while.... Maybe... Haha :)
Have a nice day everyone!
I for maaaany days slept so much as I wanted to.
And the feeling of a clean apartment feels awesome.
It feels so much lighter in a way.
And since I re-decorated yesterday too, everything came to it's place FINALLY!
It feels good. Really good.
Specially the hallway and kitchen in a way. :)
Now I can ask people to come over too, yay!
Kitchen feels different.
And all the snow on the balcony is so beautiful.
I am so happy that I have a full fridge, cooked food and a nice clean apartment.
It's now time for breakfast. Oatmeal and fruits, yum!
I am so thankful today that I have a roof over my head.
A big bed and a really NICE home to come home to everyday.
Imagine how many people in the world who lives on the street.
I am also very happy that it's 3 days to Christmas eve.
Normally I don't really like the Christmas time because it
feels like everyone gets together "just because"
and force themselves to buy gifts to each other.
I think I have to suffer with this for a day and don't care about it, cuz it's just like that.
Nothing I can do about it.
I buy gifts when ever I feel like, I think that's better!
And then people can appriciate it more too.
Since they get suprised :)
One thing that made me happy last night was that my mum told me that
the mumś side of my family can get together at MY PLACE day after Christmas eve.
That sounded like the absolute perfect idea,
since Leif and my brother have never visited my place before.
And I'm going to spend Christmas eve with my dad.
Well, this is a life for many normal children today - with separated parents.
I've been doing this since I was 6 years old, so I'm pretty used to it.
And I'm not a kid anymore. But I still don't like it.
All the other children who does the same, I understand you!
Now I'm just going to enjoy my clean apartment for a while.
And keep it like this for a while.... Maybe... Haha :)
Have a nice day everyone!
A day in school...
I'm looking forward to take my exam soon.
I did my second test in fysiology today.
At least, that is done now.
I haven't got the results yet but hopefully it went ok.
Now I only have anatomy and the practical massage test then I'm out of there. :)
YAAAAY!!!
Today we also massaged the legs. Awesome!
I have been really tired at school today,
but at least I got nice saffron buns and home made pizza for lunch!
That was great.
And I also love that you can sleep during the massage lessons :)
So this is how my saturday looks like.
This is how my leg looks like after finding all the muscles! :)
Laying around and relaxing while the others are massaging my legs :)
Sweeeeeet.
Our nice cozy little classroom! :)
Me in my little diaper! :-O
And Niklas is stretching! :P
Time to buy candy and be naked in the sofa and watch a movie! YAY!!
Quality time. I like.
Tomorrow it's time for school again. Whoop Whoop.
I did my second test in fysiology today.
At least, that is done now.
I haven't got the results yet but hopefully it went ok.
Now I only have anatomy and the practical massage test then I'm out of there. :)
YAAAAY!!!
Today we also massaged the legs. Awesome!
I have been really tired at school today,
but at least I got nice saffron buns and home made pizza for lunch!
That was great.
And I also love that you can sleep during the massage lessons :)
So this is how my saturday looks like.
This is how my leg looks like after finding all the muscles! :)
Laying around and relaxing while the others are massaging my legs :)
Sweeeeeet.
Our nice cozy little classroom! :)
Me in my little diaper! :-O
And Niklas is stretching! :P
Time to buy candy and be naked in the sofa and watch a movie! YAY!!
Quality time. I like.
Tomorrow it's time for school again. Whoop Whoop.
Destiny
That day when I went to the lecture of "The power of forgiveness",
I found my way back on track. Or at least it felt like that.
And I know that I have to stay on that path, to continue feeling like I do.
For the last 2 weeks or so, I've been eating meat and I had couple of glasses of wine.
And some cigarettes. Really good, but I have to do some purification and detoxing.
I notice mostly the meat and it's energy it gives me. Nooo good!
I blame the "CHRISTMAS TIME" at the moment.
Last wednesday I decided to go to Natha Yoga center for a free Yoga lecture.
And some how it was like going back in time.
It was exactly the same lectures I was taught in Thailand.
I was right the whole time. It was exactly what I expected.
The teacher I talked to when me and Nova was there, looked at me and smiled.
She was happy to see me. Her eyes told me.
When we started she asked me: Did you do 6 warming exercises in Thailand.
- Correct! I knew it. I didn't even have to start over at a new Yoga place
because I allready knew what they were doing and in what order.
THAT felt super duper awesome!
Then we practised Yoga and after that, we had theory and meditation.
2 ½ hours straight with it all together, and I was satisfied.
This is it. And if I continue at Natha, same as Agama -
It will be easier to become a teacher when I'm finally at Agama again to become a teacher.
Yes, you heard me right. That is my goal.
That's the only thing I want to do in the end.
And to combine it with my Swedish massage.
I'm still looking forward to my 10 days of meditation in Ödeshög.
This is it for now. I will do some purification from now on.
NOOOOO MEAAAAAT!!!
Or maybe I wait until after Christmas? ;)
Have a good one everyone.
Peace and Love to you all <3
I found my way back on track. Or at least it felt like that.
And I know that I have to stay on that path, to continue feeling like I do.
For the last 2 weeks or so, I've been eating meat and I had couple of glasses of wine.
And some cigarettes. Really good, but I have to do some purification and detoxing.
I notice mostly the meat and it's energy it gives me. Nooo good!
I blame the "CHRISTMAS TIME" at the moment.
Last wednesday I decided to go to Natha Yoga center for a free Yoga lecture.
And some how it was like going back in time.
It was exactly the same lectures I was taught in Thailand.
I was right the whole time. It was exactly what I expected.
The teacher I talked to when me and Nova was there, looked at me and smiled.
She was happy to see me. Her eyes told me.
When we started she asked me: Did you do 6 warming exercises in Thailand.
- Correct! I knew it. I didn't even have to start over at a new Yoga place
because I allready knew what they were doing and in what order.
THAT felt super duper awesome!
Then we practised Yoga and after that, we had theory and meditation.
2 ½ hours straight with it all together, and I was satisfied.
This is it. And if I continue at Natha, same as Agama -
It will be easier to become a teacher when I'm finally at Agama again to become a teacher.
Yes, you heard me right. That is my goal.
That's the only thing I want to do in the end.
And to combine it with my Swedish massage.
I'm still looking forward to my 10 days of meditation in Ödeshög.
This is it for now. I will do some purification from now on.
NOOOOO MEAAAAAT!!!
Or maybe I wait until after Christmas? ;)
Have a good one everyone.
Peace and Love to you all <3
Yoga @ a gym
I don't see how people can do Yoga in a gym.
I've spendt all day long at A&C sportcenter, mainly to study.
But, we'll see how that goes.
A final coming up this weekend in fysiology.
Being around Malin takes alot more of my energy then I thought!
Mostly my own fault that I can not focus when she is around.
(or anyone else in the gym)
So I'll think I even do better at home now.
But when I'm there I go to a class too or into the gym :)
So, that's great anyway!
Today I met Andreas for the first time
(one of the instructors for ZUMBA)
Good looking guy and when he arrived suddenly the whole reception was speeded up
and went nuts with the new salsa looking method ZUMBA!
Oh lord, I felt so calm and peaceful and stressed
people came all the time.
I wanted to stay and try it too, but I had other plans.
I went in to the room to prepare myself for Yoga.
To calm down.
To breath and relax.
Into the room Andreas rushes in,
puts on music and yadda yadda yadda.
Lee can you help me with this and that...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH I need peace!!!!!
*My head screams* But of course.
Since I am so nice, I can't say NO! :)
I haven't tried Yoga in a gym since I did it at Goodlife.
Andreas were a good instructor,
we did BODY BALANCE instead since the original Yoga teacher weren't there.
Which is a mix of tai chi, pilates and Yoga.
But doing Yoga in a gym isn't the same as in a real Yoga center.
50 min, speeded up with the asanas and the people
have noooo idea what they are doing!
Sad, because if they only knew what was going on with their bodies....
Well, I am always satisfied with all workout I can get.
And at least I know what I am doing now hehe..
It was nice to try it at a gym again too.
Since I'm gonna go there during the winter :)
And then will be moving on to Natha Yoga!
This evening I've been spending with Dee.
Great and nice girl!
Made some dinner / talk and then I gave her a massage! :)
Great night.. Late night... And early morning tomorrow.
Time for bed. Ta taaaa
I've spendt all day long at A&C sportcenter, mainly to study.
But, we'll see how that goes.
A final coming up this weekend in fysiology.
Being around Malin takes alot more of my energy then I thought!
Mostly my own fault that I can not focus when she is around.
(or anyone else in the gym)
So I'll think I even do better at home now.
But when I'm there I go to a class too or into the gym :)
So, that's great anyway!
Today I met Andreas for the first time
(one of the instructors for ZUMBA)
Good looking guy and when he arrived suddenly the whole reception was speeded up
and went nuts with the new salsa looking method ZUMBA!
Oh lord, I felt so calm and peaceful and stressed
people came all the time.
I wanted to stay and try it too, but I had other plans.
I went in to the room to prepare myself for Yoga.
To calm down.
To breath and relax.
Into the room Andreas rushes in,
puts on music and yadda yadda yadda.
Lee can you help me with this and that...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH I need peace!!!!!
*My head screams* But of course.
Since I am so nice, I can't say NO! :)
I haven't tried Yoga in a gym since I did it at Goodlife.
Andreas were a good instructor,
we did BODY BALANCE instead since the original Yoga teacher weren't there.
Which is a mix of tai chi, pilates and Yoga.
But doing Yoga in a gym isn't the same as in a real Yoga center.
50 min, speeded up with the asanas and the people
have noooo idea what they are doing!
Sad, because if they only knew what was going on with their bodies....
Well, I am always satisfied with all workout I can get.
And at least I know what I am doing now hehe..
It was nice to try it at a gym again too.
Since I'm gonna go there during the winter :)
And then will be moving on to Natha Yoga!
This evening I've been spending with Dee.
Great and nice girl!
Made some dinner / talk and then I gave her a massage! :)
Great night.. Late night... And early morning tomorrow.
Time for bed. Ta taaaa
The Power of forgiveness
Warning: This is going to be a long blog post....
And sorry, but I have to write this in Swedish as well.
Please use Google translate!
Jag måste börja med att skriva att allting som händer har sin mening.
I somras så introducerade jag Yoga in i Novas liv.
För några dagar sedan så fick jag ett mail utav henne där hon frågade
mig om jag ville följa med på en föreläsning på Natha Yoga Center här i Malmö.
Föreläsningen handlade om "Konsten att förlåta".
Intresset var skarpt så det var en självklarhet!
Med tanke på att min balans har varit lite dålig på sistone så lät detta perfekt.
Vi kom en timme för tidigt då Nova sett fel på tiden.
Men vi fick då vara med på en meditation vilket var plus i kanten för mig.
Efter meditationen så hade vi en YANG SPIRAL MEDITATION tillsammans.
Det var jätte kraftfullt för mig (och även Nova).
Man ställer sig då i zodiak tecknens ordning, i en spiral och håller händerna.
Musik spelades i bakgrunden. Inte vanlig musik utan tecno musik.
Det gjorde mig väldigt paff att höra sådan musik pumpa ut ur högtalarna, men det gjorde gott.
Till en början tänkte jag: OHHHH MYYYYY GOOOD vad sjukt,
för det är inte det man förväntar sig under en meditation.
Värmen och energin man kände i från allihopa var enorm.
Min puls gick upp riktigt mycket och kände även darrningar i händer.
Jag kände att jag lutade åt vänster ett x antal gånger,
och även att mitt huvud tippade. (fast än att det inte gjorde det)
Novade började svaja, hon brevid mig började svaja... eller kände jag bara att jag svaja?
Mellan mig och Nova kändes enorm värme,
inte alls som med den andra tjejen som höll i min hand.
Nästan så att det blev en avdomnande känsla i handen.
En styrka, precis som om jag tryckte om hennes hand hårt.
När det var dags för föreläsningen så svävade jag redan på molnen.
Sakerna hon sa var så självklara och de saker hon sa lät så bekant.
Bekant på ett vis som jag själv blivit undervisad på Agama Yoga i Thailand.
Sakerna hon sa, upplägget hon hade och djupet
var så att jag kunde relatera vart enda litet ord.
Det kändes RÄTT och väldigt ÄKTA!
Saker som jag lärt mig, men som är så "LÄTT ATT GLÖMMA".
Eller som jag lagt åt sidan iaf.
Men det var bara början, början på ett äventyr.
Mitt äventyr som jag har väntat länge på.
Jag drogs dit av en anledning!
Det är nu allt börjar falla på plats och det är nu det kommer!
Efter föreläsningen så var jag tvungen att prata med
hon som höll i det och fråga vem som lärt henne.
Eller vart grunderna och läran kommer ifrån.
Det visar sig då vara MIN Guru, Swami Vivekananda Saraswati's
vän som har Natha Yoga i Malmö.
Min Swami som jag inte vet hans rikiga namn på,
är ursprungligen i från Rumänien och det har gått en hel
del historier om honom runt om i världen.
Men de var tydligen vänner, blev problem och båda flydde i från Rumänien.
Snubben som har Natha Yoga har nu hemlig identitet,
eller ja jag vet inte riktigt hur alla historier är.
More or less, it's like that anyway!
Jag väljer att lyssna på alla historier för jag hör nya hela tiden.
Men jag tar inte ställning till något som sägs. Jag är öppen helt enkelt.
MEN VAD ÄR ODDSEN???
Det här är ju heeeeeeeelt sjukt!!!!
Under tiden vi står och pratar om detta, så lyssnar två andra lite äldre kvinnor på oss.
Den ena kvinnan som är en daglig Yoga elev där frågar mig då:
-Var det i Koh Phangan du gick??
-Ja? Vad då? *undrar nyfiket*
-Var där en lärare som hette Burkhard?
WTF!
Vi pratar vidare och det visar sig att en av mina gamla lärare på Agama är hennes föredetta!
Hon skulle eg. åkt dit men han åkte dit istället.
Hon gick dit ikväll pga honom. Konsten att förlåta.
Hon trodde att hon förlåtit sig själv och honom,
men så fort hon träffade mig så visade det sig tvärtom.
Vi var alla i chock tillstånd, samtidigt som vi var helt i extas.
Vi var alla där av en anledning ikväll.
Det var ödet att föra oss samman och det har nog aldrig kommit så klart till mig!
Pusselbitarna börjar falla på plats.
Och ju mer jag luskar i allt detta, så har jag mer och mer rätt för varje gång.
Detta Yoga cetret var i mitt stuk.
Där fanns kärlek. Det var hem trevligt och dom var varma.
Och framför allt väldigt förstående.
Jag funderar nu på att slita mig i från Kendra och "gå tillbaka"
till samma koncept som jag lärde mig i Thailand.
Grunder av chakras, tänkande, energier etc.... på djupet.
Där föreläsningarna inte kostar 2000 kr att gå på. Utan är GRATIS!
Och att Yogan helt enkelt är billigare att gå på och ger mig mer i det stora hela.
Jag är trots allt en fattig student... riktigt fattig också...
Dessutom är "stämningen" inte riktigt "rätt" för min själ och mitt inre på Kendra.
Jag trodde jag kände mig väldigt hemma, vilket jag har gjort.
Men det är något med Kendra som jag inte kan sätta fingert på....
Men grunderna, principerna och föreläsningarna
är nog det jag kommer koncentrera mig mer på.
Och Yogan kommer vi få skriftligt material på med oss hem,
asana för asana så att vi kan utöva det hemma där det specifikt
står punkt och pricka en innebörd!
Det är det jag kallar Yoga!
Och det är DET som är en undervisning!
Jag måste nog ta ett snack med Daniel efter att han kommit hem i från Indien....
Daniel är det absolut inget fel på, han är en väldigt duktig Yoga lärare,
men min själ har nog vandrat vidare för att finna sig till rätta!
Min själ har nog precis hittat hem, till där den hör hemma tror jag!
Och att Agama var rätt för mig från början var det ingen tvivel om.
My soul <3 Yoga!
And Yoga <3 my soul! :)
Nog flumm snack för idag... Dags för sängen!
Jag tackar NOVA för att hon drog med mig ikväll.
Evigt tacksam för det här, och snart är vi nog Yoga buddies! :)
And sorry, but I have to write this in Swedish as well.
Please use Google translate!
Jag måste börja med att skriva att allting som händer har sin mening.
I somras så introducerade jag Yoga in i Novas liv.
För några dagar sedan så fick jag ett mail utav henne där hon frågade
mig om jag ville följa med på en föreläsning på Natha Yoga Center här i Malmö.
Föreläsningen handlade om "Konsten att förlåta".
Intresset var skarpt så det var en självklarhet!
Med tanke på att min balans har varit lite dålig på sistone så lät detta perfekt.
Vi kom en timme för tidigt då Nova sett fel på tiden.
Men vi fick då vara med på en meditation vilket var plus i kanten för mig.
Efter meditationen så hade vi en YANG SPIRAL MEDITATION tillsammans.
Det var jätte kraftfullt för mig (och även Nova).
Man ställer sig då i zodiak tecknens ordning, i en spiral och håller händerna.
Musik spelades i bakgrunden. Inte vanlig musik utan tecno musik.
Det gjorde mig väldigt paff att höra sådan musik pumpa ut ur högtalarna, men det gjorde gott.
Till en början tänkte jag: OHHHH MYYYYY GOOOD vad sjukt,
för det är inte det man förväntar sig under en meditation.
Värmen och energin man kände i från allihopa var enorm.
Min puls gick upp riktigt mycket och kände även darrningar i händer.
Jag kände att jag lutade åt vänster ett x antal gånger,
och även att mitt huvud tippade. (fast än att det inte gjorde det)
Novade började svaja, hon brevid mig började svaja... eller kände jag bara att jag svaja?
Mellan mig och Nova kändes enorm värme,
inte alls som med den andra tjejen som höll i min hand.
Nästan så att det blev en avdomnande känsla i handen.
En styrka, precis som om jag tryckte om hennes hand hårt.
När det var dags för föreläsningen så svävade jag redan på molnen.
Sakerna hon sa var så självklara och de saker hon sa lät så bekant.
Bekant på ett vis som jag själv blivit undervisad på Agama Yoga i Thailand.
Sakerna hon sa, upplägget hon hade och djupet
var så att jag kunde relatera vart enda litet ord.
Det kändes RÄTT och väldigt ÄKTA!
Saker som jag lärt mig, men som är så "LÄTT ATT GLÖMMA".
Eller som jag lagt åt sidan iaf.
Men det var bara början, början på ett äventyr.
Mitt äventyr som jag har väntat länge på.
Jag drogs dit av en anledning!
Det är nu allt börjar falla på plats och det är nu det kommer!
Efter föreläsningen så var jag tvungen att prata med
hon som höll i det och fråga vem som lärt henne.
Eller vart grunderna och läran kommer ifrån.
Det visar sig då vara MIN Guru, Swami Vivekananda Saraswati's
vän som har Natha Yoga i Malmö.
Min Swami som jag inte vet hans rikiga namn på,
är ursprungligen i från Rumänien och det har gått en hel
del historier om honom runt om i världen.
Men de var tydligen vänner, blev problem och båda flydde i från Rumänien.
Snubben som har Natha Yoga har nu hemlig identitet,
eller ja jag vet inte riktigt hur alla historier är.
More or less, it's like that anyway!
Jag väljer att lyssna på alla historier för jag hör nya hela tiden.
Men jag tar inte ställning till något som sägs. Jag är öppen helt enkelt.
MEN VAD ÄR ODDSEN???
Det här är ju heeeeeeeelt sjukt!!!!
Under tiden vi står och pratar om detta, så lyssnar två andra lite äldre kvinnor på oss.
Den ena kvinnan som är en daglig Yoga elev där frågar mig då:
-Var det i Koh Phangan du gick??
-Ja? Vad då? *undrar nyfiket*
-Var där en lärare som hette Burkhard?
WTF!
Vi pratar vidare och det visar sig att en av mina gamla lärare på Agama är hennes föredetta!
Hon skulle eg. åkt dit men han åkte dit istället.
Hon gick dit ikväll pga honom. Konsten att förlåta.
Hon trodde att hon förlåtit sig själv och honom,
men så fort hon träffade mig så visade det sig tvärtom.
Vi var alla i chock tillstånd, samtidigt som vi var helt i extas.
Vi var alla där av en anledning ikväll.
Det var ödet att föra oss samman och det har nog aldrig kommit så klart till mig!
Pusselbitarna börjar falla på plats.
Och ju mer jag luskar i allt detta, så har jag mer och mer rätt för varje gång.
Detta Yoga cetret var i mitt stuk.
Där fanns kärlek. Det var hem trevligt och dom var varma.
Och framför allt väldigt förstående.
Jag funderar nu på att slita mig i från Kendra och "gå tillbaka"
till samma koncept som jag lärde mig i Thailand.
Grunder av chakras, tänkande, energier etc.... på djupet.
Där föreläsningarna inte kostar 2000 kr att gå på. Utan är GRATIS!
Och att Yogan helt enkelt är billigare att gå på och ger mig mer i det stora hela.
Jag är trots allt en fattig student... riktigt fattig också...
Dessutom är "stämningen" inte riktigt "rätt" för min själ och mitt inre på Kendra.
Jag trodde jag kände mig väldigt hemma, vilket jag har gjort.
Men det är något med Kendra som jag inte kan sätta fingert på....
Men grunderna, principerna och föreläsningarna
är nog det jag kommer koncentrera mig mer på.
Och Yogan kommer vi få skriftligt material på med oss hem,
asana för asana så att vi kan utöva det hemma där det specifikt
står punkt och pricka en innebörd!
Det är det jag kallar Yoga!
Och det är DET som är en undervisning!
Jag måste nog ta ett snack med Daniel efter att han kommit hem i från Indien....
Daniel är det absolut inget fel på, han är en väldigt duktig Yoga lärare,
men min själ har nog vandrat vidare för att finna sig till rätta!
Min själ har nog precis hittat hem, till där den hör hemma tror jag!
Och att Agama var rätt för mig från början var det ingen tvivel om.
My soul <3 Yoga!
And Yoga <3 my soul! :)
Nog flumm snack för idag... Dags för sängen!
Jag tackar NOVA för att hon drog med mig ikväll.
Evigt tacksam för det här, och snart är vi nog Yoga buddies! :)
Connect
Jag ser samman kopplingar hela tiden. Till allt.
Saker jag aldrig har sett förut, dyker upp.
Små saker som är så självklara.
Det är som ying & yang.
Allt har sin mening.
Det finns ingen slump.
Det är menat, det finns en connection.
Men till vilken grad? Och hur?
Det jag har sett från första början är nog sant.
Eller så är jag nog psykiskt sjuk och inbillar mig en massa saker.
Jag vill luska vidare i det här.
Saker jag aldrig har sett förut, dyker upp.
Små saker som är så självklara.
Det är som ying & yang.
Allt har sin mening.
Det finns ingen slump.
Det är menat, det finns en connection.
Men till vilken grad? Och hur?
Det jag har sett från första början är nog sant.
Eller så är jag nog psykiskt sjuk och inbillar mig en massa saker.
Jag vill luska vidare i det här.
The more the wood - the hotter the fire...
Excerpted from "Taking the Leap"
So we start by making friends with our experience
and developing warmth for our good old selves.
Slowly, very slowly, gently, very gently,
we let the stakes get higher as we touch in on more troubling feelings.
This leads to trusting that we have the strength and
good-heartedness to live in this precious world,
despite its land mines, with dignity and kindness. With this kind of confidence,
connecting with others comes more easily,
because what is there to fear when we have stayed with ourselves through thick and thin?
Other people can provoke anything in us and we don't need to defend
ourselves by striking out or shutting down.
Selfless help, helping others without an agenda, is the result of our having helped ourselves.
We feel loving towards ourselves and therefore we feel loving towards others.
Over time all those we used to feel separate from
become more and more melted into our heart.
Worldwide
Lee Lee is spreading around the world....
Or at least my words, my thoughts and my love! :)
There are getting more red dots all over the world map and it's fun to see.
But I still don't see any comments which is pretty boring.
I wonder who all the Canadians and Americans are?
Indians? English and all the Australians who are reading?
Leave a note... I want to know!!!!
The whole day I've been decorating my apartment.
Trying to change some things, but things aren't going my way.
Or not the way I want to anyway. But it's nice anyway!
It looks a bit better though and I can sleep well tonight :)
Mostly my paintings and my flowers who is a mess.
So what do you do a friday night?
Well, I go to the supermarket at 22.30 and buy topsoil and fix my plants.
Haha, what a night... That's my life from time to time.
When you are suppose to study, you suddenly find sooooo many other things to do!
Like re-decorate the whole apartment and re-plant some flowers and make some paintings...?
And dance a little bit. The only thing missing now is a bottle of wine...
And nice company.
I haven't had food for the whole day and I'm not even hungry.
Last night I had gingerbread and saffron buns with cheese and butter,
as a late night munchies and then I totally passed out in the sofa.
This morning I couldn't move and I was so ill.
Just the thought of food almost made me throw up in my mouth!
Damn this... It's time for bed now.
TOMORROW I WILL STUDY!!!!!!!!!!
OK???
Or at least my words, my thoughts and my love! :)
There are getting more red dots all over the world map and it's fun to see.
But I still don't see any comments which is pretty boring.
I wonder who all the Canadians and Americans are?
Indians? English and all the Australians who are reading?
Leave a note... I want to know!!!!
The whole day I've been decorating my apartment.
Trying to change some things, but things aren't going my way.
Or not the way I want to anyway. But it's nice anyway!
It looks a bit better though and I can sleep well tonight :)
Mostly my paintings and my flowers who is a mess.
So what do you do a friday night?
Well, I go to the supermarket at 22.30 and buy topsoil and fix my plants.
Haha, what a night... That's my life from time to time.
When you are suppose to study, you suddenly find sooooo many other things to do!
Like re-decorate the whole apartment and re-plant some flowers and make some paintings...?
And dance a little bit. The only thing missing now is a bottle of wine...
And nice company.
I haven't had food for the whole day and I'm not even hungry.
Last night I had gingerbread and saffron buns with cheese and butter,
as a late night munchies and then I totally passed out in the sofa.
This morning I couldn't move and I was so ill.
Just the thought of food almost made me throw up in my mouth!
Damn this... It's time for bed now.
TOMORROW I WILL STUDY!!!!!!!!!!
OK???
Going underground
Couple of days ago I took the CITY TUNNEL for the first time in Malmö.
They open 12th of december for the everyday trains.
But you could try it now for only 10 kr.
Since I live very close to the tunnel, this was a must!
Me, Ludde and Johan went to Hyllie and back.
Feels weird to have an underground tunnel.
But I like it. Good attraction for Malmö :)
I still doesn't feel like a part of Malmö yet though....
I guess it's only me - Lee Lee - who sees the giant gingerbread house
and puts the whole jacket on the roof and gets white powder on the whole jacket.
Yeah, this is me.... Call me Blondie....
But be honest, you like it - it's pretty charming to laugh at me huh!? :P
When I made gingerbread last friday I did one for Jonas!
I miss my Fluff. I miss his laugh, honesty and his kindness!
Yesterday I spendt the whole day with My & Lea in Lund.
She is getting big the little cutie pie. =)
Myself, looks really tired... And yes, I've been tired lately.
We went for coffee and a walk in town.
We said hello to Joel at his work and then we bought dinner and made it at their place.
I feel very relaxed and calm when I'm with her, just like when I'm with Joel.
So my day was really cozy and nice.
this was a small picture update from me.
I've decided that it's time for Yoga now instead and the study
have to wait until tomorrow or later tonight! :)
C YA'LL!!
They open 12th of december for the everyday trains.
But you could try it now for only 10 kr.
Since I live very close to the tunnel, this was a must!
Me, Ludde and Johan went to Hyllie and back.
Feels weird to have an underground tunnel.
But I like it. Good attraction for Malmö :)
I still doesn't feel like a part of Malmö yet though....
I guess it's only me - Lee Lee - who sees the giant gingerbread house
and puts the whole jacket on the roof and gets white powder on the whole jacket.
Yeah, this is me.... Call me Blondie....
But be honest, you like it - it's pretty charming to laugh at me huh!? :P
When I made gingerbread last friday I did one for Jonas!
I miss my Fluff. I miss his laugh, honesty and his kindness!
Yesterday I spendt the whole day with My & Lea in Lund.
She is getting big the little cutie pie. =)
Myself, looks really tired... And yes, I've been tired lately.
We went for coffee and a walk in town.
We said hello to Joel at his work and then we bought dinner and made it at their place.
I feel very relaxed and calm when I'm with her, just like when I'm with Joel.
So my day was really cozy and nice.
this was a small picture update from me.
I've decided that it's time for Yoga now instead and the study
have to wait until tomorrow or later tonight! :)
C YA'LL!!
Do Not Be Serious About Anything
This is a good complement to my blog post.
Just read it, and it's exactly what I need at the moment!
My day is saved.
By Sri Swami Satchidananda on Wednesday, 08 December 2010 at 05:28
Just read it, and it's exactly what I need at the moment!
My day is saved.
By Sri Swami Satchidananda on Wednesday, 08 December 2010 at 05:28
We cannot really save the world.
We cannot even destroy the world. It is not in our hands.
If that Supreme Power wanted to save the world, it wouldn't even take a second for it to happen.
All of us could be saints and sages overnight.
All He has to do is just think, "Come on all of you be saints," and that would be it.
But He is not doing that. Instead, He is letting us be a little ignorant.
That is His fun. You sometimes forget this and take life too seriously.
At least when it gets too tough and you are really caught up in it all,
at that point sit back and say, "It's all right."
Don't be serious about anything, anything, anything. Just have fun.
Always keep this awareness of the Divine Leela or God's Play.
If we just remember this, we won't be projecting our ego.
How often we get caught in thinking, "I did it! I got it! I lost it!"
For one week, try saying: "It's all God's fun. I'll simply do whatever He wants me to do."
Have a sample week like this. You will feel very light. You will get the Light.
Then if you like, you can continue. If not, take back your ego. It is always there.
Om Shanthi, Shanthi, Shanthi
So much to do but so little time...
Yes that is correct. I feel stressed at the moment.
I wake up in the morning with anxiety and my brain spinns spinns spinns.
I know the reason, and that is school.
This is why I normally don't study, my performance anxiety gets bigger and bigger.
I only feel stressed because I need to study more.
And I don't understand why it's so god damn hard for me?
It's just to do it... But no, it's not.
There is always so much other stuff I need to do, and I don't want to feel stressed either.
Therefor I choose wisely, but the days goes by and suddenly it's wednesday... again... allready?
Since the nights are late, I don't want to go up from bed 06.15 in the cold winter and do Yoga.
I know it would do me good, but I want to sleep more then 4 hours a night at the moment!
So I will do the later Yoga classes instead.
I guess it's the karma.
Now I wash all dirty towels from the massage.
Laundry day twice a week. YAY! (That's the only negative thing about the massage)
But costumers keep on rolling in, so I can't complain a second!
It's a good flow now, I just have to keep it like that.
Malin asked me if I want to go to the school and get a massage today.
By another student.
And who doesn't want a massage when you are a masseuse?
I can't say no, Sorry! :D
I'm very happy that I have Malin! She is so nice to me.
I appriciate her alot. More then before anyway.
Lately we have been getting along so much better and we are better friends then before.
Even FRIENDSHIP is a relationship and it takes 2 to keep it.
But both of us have changed and I'm very glad I have her!
My little diamond.
Later it's study time, fysiology....Not my best subject!
But the test is in 2 weeks.... GAH!!
Then I'm going to have a costumer over, so the days are busy!
I haven't really had time for myself and my Yoga,
meditation or work-out at the gym for the last 2 weeks.
I've been to the Yoga couple of times, but not as much as I would like to.
So at the moment I'm happy that I don't have a normal job actually.
So this weekend is going to be a fully focus
on myself and then continue like that and my studies!
Smell you guys later. Ta ta!
I wake up in the morning with anxiety and my brain spinns spinns spinns.
I know the reason, and that is school.
This is why I normally don't study, my performance anxiety gets bigger and bigger.
I only feel stressed because I need to study more.
And I don't understand why it's so god damn hard for me?
It's just to do it... But no, it's not.
There is always so much other stuff I need to do, and I don't want to feel stressed either.
Therefor I choose wisely, but the days goes by and suddenly it's wednesday... again... allready?
Since the nights are late, I don't want to go up from bed 06.15 in the cold winter and do Yoga.
I know it would do me good, but I want to sleep more then 4 hours a night at the moment!
So I will do the later Yoga classes instead.
I guess it's the karma.
Now I wash all dirty towels from the massage.
Laundry day twice a week. YAY! (That's the only negative thing about the massage)
But costumers keep on rolling in, so I can't complain a second!
It's a good flow now, I just have to keep it like that.
Malin asked me if I want to go to the school and get a massage today.
By another student.
And who doesn't want a massage when you are a masseuse?
I can't say no, Sorry! :D
I'm very happy that I have Malin! She is so nice to me.
I appriciate her alot. More then before anyway.
Lately we have been getting along so much better and we are better friends then before.
Even FRIENDSHIP is a relationship and it takes 2 to keep it.
But both of us have changed and I'm very glad I have her!
My little diamond.
Later it's study time, fysiology....Not my best subject!
But the test is in 2 weeks.... GAH!!
Then I'm going to have a costumer over, so the days are busy!
I haven't really had time for myself and my Yoga,
meditation or work-out at the gym for the last 2 weeks.
I've been to the Yoga couple of times, but not as much as I would like to.
So at the moment I'm happy that I don't have a normal job actually.
So this weekend is going to be a fully focus
on myself and then continue like that and my studies!
Smell you guys later. Ta ta!
Goodnight!
Meditation before bed time.
Enjoy everyone.
Ta ta!
Blondie, vous pouvez obtenir tout ce que vous souhaitez pour
Be careful what you wish for.
Because what you wish for, you will recieve.
Maybe it will not come to you in the way you wished for, but you will get it.
Sooner or later.
I learned not to say anything I don't mean.
It's hard sometimes because people makes too much fun of eachother today.
And sometimes people have a hard time to take me seriously.
I choose my words wisely and don't say anything I don't mean today.
In the other hand, I can be ironic from time to time with friends.
But my friends know that. Thinking before talking!
I will never lie to myself again.
And I will never lie to anyone else either.
Pure honesty. Even if it will hurt.
Me and my monkey brain have been climbing many
trees lately and if I will use Joels words, I've been very "BLOND".
When a half french guy calls me blond, all I can think of is my dear french friend Adeline.
Who always calls me Blondie. And even Shrek! :)
Since I couldn't visit her in september, I planned a weekend closer to spring.
If I do enough of massage, I will have money to go!
I never visited France (which really suprises myself) and to see her is a must, very soon!
I miss everything that we have shared together. Good and bad.
But since I still have her in my heart, she is important.
Even if she doesn't live here, she will always be special to me!
I don't have many friends left and I'm happy to have few I can care more about.
Je t'aime mon ami
Because what you wish for, you will recieve.
Maybe it will not come to you in the way you wished for, but you will get it.
Sooner or later.
I learned not to say anything I don't mean.
It's hard sometimes because people makes too much fun of eachother today.
And sometimes people have a hard time to take me seriously.
I choose my words wisely and don't say anything I don't mean today.
In the other hand, I can be ironic from time to time with friends.
But my friends know that. Thinking before talking!
I will never lie to myself again.
And I will never lie to anyone else either.
Pure honesty. Even if it will hurt.
Me and my monkey brain have been climbing many
trees lately and if I will use Joels words, I've been very "BLOND".
When a half french guy calls me blond, all I can think of is my dear french friend Adeline.
Who always calls me Blondie. And even Shrek! :)
Since I couldn't visit her in september, I planned a weekend closer to spring.
If I do enough of massage, I will have money to go!
I never visited France (which really suprises myself) and to see her is a must, very soon!
I miss everything that we have shared together. Good and bad.
But since I still have her in my heart, she is important.
Even if she doesn't live here, she will always be special to me!
I don't have many friends left and I'm happy to have few I can care more about.
Je t'aime mon ami
Finding the balance
Too much of a self-centered attitude creates mistrust and suspicion in others,
which can in turn lead to fear. But if you have more of an open mind,
and you cultivate a sense of concern for others' well-being,
then, no matter what others' attitudes are, you can keep your inner peace.
Thanx for your wise words Dalai Lama!
Many of you guys know that my mood is very up and very down.
Specially lately.
I just have to control it and find the balance.
I'm starting over again.
The problem with me is that I put too many things on my back.
Finally the cup is too full and I loose it all. again.
Typical an aquarius.
I don't really know if the english word is correct but
"performance anxiety"(?) is a good word for me at the moment.
(Prestations ångest) I overthink and sometimes I over do.
After school on saturday I poured myself a glass of wine.
Yepp, first alcohol on almost 4 months...
The "don't worry, about a thing cuz every little thing is going to be allright"
Bob Marley talk made sense and it was like a big whiff(?) .
I could breath again and I feel more positive now. Crazy!
I don't regret that I drank the whole bottle either.
It was really good red wine - Opal spring!
I felt no difference. A little bit drunk but in a very good way!
I was still the same. Still Lee Lee!
Just more happy :D
Didn't do or say anything I regret so I'm very satisfied with the night.
I had alot of fun too. I found myself a dance partner on Swing Inn!
And damn, we had fun. Just like the once who dance in the comedy movies.
Lifted me up and swang me around over the whole dancefloor.
In a goofy way. But I smiled the whole time!
Bumped into everyone else and kicked them too.
It was inspiring, fun and so much empathy into the dance.
We ruled the dancefloor so much. Then we went separated ways!
But it totally made my night.
I made some good coices about alot of things lately.
People who takes my energy in a bad way is not necesairy to keep.
I'll rather be respected and loved and not have any more knifes in my back.
And everything is happening for a reason. It's always like that.
It's just to face it.
But the question is, will I make another hard decision now or will I wait?
Time will tell... And we'll see what's happening.
It's better this way. I have to keep my energy on myself and my future at the moment.
And the god damn study, which I have a hard time with... I think anyway!
And why waist it on someone who can't give you some energy back?
Naaaah...
Later dudes
which can in turn lead to fear. But if you have more of an open mind,
and you cultivate a sense of concern for others' well-being,
then, no matter what others' attitudes are, you can keep your inner peace.
Thanx for your wise words Dalai Lama!
Many of you guys know that my mood is very up and very down.
Specially lately.
I just have to control it and find the balance.
I'm starting over again.
The problem with me is that I put too many things on my back.
Finally the cup is too full and I loose it all. again.
Typical an aquarius.
I don't really know if the english word is correct but
"performance anxiety"(?) is a good word for me at the moment.
(Prestations ångest) I overthink and sometimes I over do.
After school on saturday I poured myself a glass of wine.
Yepp, first alcohol on almost 4 months...
The "don't worry, about a thing cuz every little thing is going to be allright"
Bob Marley talk made sense and it was like a big whiff(?) .
I could breath again and I feel more positive now. Crazy!
I don't regret that I drank the whole bottle either.
It was really good red wine - Opal spring!
I felt no difference. A little bit drunk but in a very good way!
I was still the same. Still Lee Lee!
Just more happy :D
Didn't do or say anything I regret so I'm very satisfied with the night.
I had alot of fun too. I found myself a dance partner on Swing Inn!
And damn, we had fun. Just like the once who dance in the comedy movies.
Lifted me up and swang me around over the whole dancefloor.
In a goofy way. But I smiled the whole time!
Bumped into everyone else and kicked them too.
It was inspiring, fun and so much empathy into the dance.
We ruled the dancefloor so much. Then we went separated ways!
But it totally made my night.
I made some good coices about alot of things lately.
People who takes my energy in a bad way is not necesairy to keep.
I'll rather be respected and loved and not have any more knifes in my back.
And everything is happening for a reason. It's always like that.
It's just to face it.
But the question is, will I make another hard decision now or will I wait?
Time will tell... And we'll see what's happening.
It's better this way. I have to keep my energy on myself and my future at the moment.
And the god damn study, which I have a hard time with... I think anyway!
And why waist it on someone who can't give you some energy back?
Naaaah...
Later dudes
Empty
Today I had a great friday night. I wanted to have christmas joy.
While we made gingerbreads, saffron buns,
and were drinking mulled wine (alcohol free).....
Everything I could think of was this "situation" and whats have been said earlier that day.
I don't know what to think about human beings anymore.
Nothing surprises me any longer but there is just no end to this.
WHERE DO YOU CROSS THE LINE?
But the most important question - DO YOU KNOW when you cross it??
Do you know what you are draging other people into?
Do you know what you do to other people and make them suffer?
I DON'T THINK SO!
I shut of all my feelings. Isn't it what people want me to do?
Be totally careless and feel nothing? Talk to a wall. An empty shell.
Like I've been for years. Going back to the same old Lee as once before?
I tried to smile and be happy the whole night, but it just didn't work.
I sailed away with my mind to somewhere else, where I could be free.
Where I could be peaceful and lonely and dream of chocolate hills and fluffy bunnys.
My friends asked me all the time: Are you tired?
No.. Just quiet...
I think I picked the wrong day to have christmas joy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To something else...
We went to Siciliana and had pizza.
Across the table, 3 men were sitting and drinking beer.
One of them had the same face as "him".
Same eyes, same lips and it was just same same but different.
The only thing I wanted to do was to walk over there and touch his face.
We got eye contact couple of times.
I noticed that I was staring a little bit too much.
And he noticed it as well, but he smiled back at me.
Even if I moved on it was a bit hard for me. It still hurts.
I still miss him. I still wish he was close.(r).
The only thing I want to do now is to get drunk...
Drunk as f*ck. Lucky me that I have school tomorrow.
Otherwise I would be totally smashed at the moment.
No, I don't think I would, but I really wanted to.
Almost 4 months now :D
Well.... It's time for bed.
While we made gingerbreads, saffron buns,
and were drinking mulled wine (alcohol free).....
Everything I could think of was this "situation" and whats have been said earlier that day.
I don't know what to think about human beings anymore.
Nothing surprises me any longer but there is just no end to this.
WHERE DO YOU CROSS THE LINE?
But the most important question - DO YOU KNOW when you cross it??
Do you know what you are draging other people into?
Do you know what you do to other people and make them suffer?
I DON'T THINK SO!
I shut of all my feelings. Isn't it what people want me to do?
Be totally careless and feel nothing? Talk to a wall. An empty shell.
Like I've been for years. Going back to the same old Lee as once before?
I tried to smile and be happy the whole night, but it just didn't work.
I sailed away with my mind to somewhere else, where I could be free.
Where I could be peaceful and lonely and dream of chocolate hills and fluffy bunnys.
My friends asked me all the time: Are you tired?
No.. Just quiet...
I think I picked the wrong day to have christmas joy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To something else...
We went to Siciliana and had pizza.
Across the table, 3 men were sitting and drinking beer.
One of them had the same face as "him".
Same eyes, same lips and it was just same same but different.
The only thing I wanted to do was to walk over there and touch his face.
We got eye contact couple of times.
I noticed that I was staring a little bit too much.
And he noticed it as well, but he smiled back at me.
Even if I moved on it was a bit hard for me. It still hurts.
I still miss him. I still wish he was close.(r).
The only thing I want to do now is to get drunk...
Drunk as f*ck. Lucky me that I have school tomorrow.
Otherwise I would be totally smashed at the moment.
No, I don't think I would, but I really wanted to.
Almost 4 months now :D
Well.... It's time for bed.
Mamma Mia...
Couple of days ago I met a friend for some christmas cooking....
I then met my friends friend for the first time.
We started to talk about children, jobs and the "every day life".
When I saw her, I felt calm. She felt very confident and peaceful.
Me in the other hand felt my monkey mind all over the place...
She then told me that she worked as International Association for Human Values,
Yoga teacher etc for www.artofliving.se
Very interesting and inspiring!
So my focus was on her after that...
We talked about the Vipassana I'm going to in March and she's done the same but in India.
Told me about how much concentration, focus and energy I'm going to have afterwards.
So now I'm looking forward to it so much more!!
She is also pregnant and is going to deliver in march.
The "baby-talk" came up and I really feel different when it comes to babies now,
as I've felt before... So we continued the talk.
I assumed that the father of the baby was home.
I mean, who could break up with such a nice, cute and calm girl like her?
(But nothing suprises me today)
Well, apparently the dad allready had 2 children and didn't want any more.....
She then told him that if he didn't want any, they have to separate.
(Because she want a child and she's 32)
They separated after 3 ½ years together and then he changed his mind.
Said "I want a baby with you".
The same night she got pregnant, and then he got cold feets and left her after that.
He promised to be there for the child when it comes.
But she will be a single mum.
The first thing I have to say is....
I think that this woman is so god damn strong!
And I don't even know the lady.
She was so confident and everything she showed was love to herself and the unborned baby.
I was impressed and I thought that I've heard it all....
Most stories are the same in the end.
And today's generation are "used to" having separated parents.
Like me. Like most of my friends actually.
Of course I want a baby, but I'm also afraid of getting one.
But we'll see when the time is right.
First of all, THE man with the good genes would be nice to have hahahahha :D
But I have to say GOOD ON YOU single mums!
I finally understand how much and alot of courage it takes from you make such big steps in life.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yesterday I had 2 massages. Today I've done 2 as well...
I got my first tip today too.
And noooo - no happy ending! Haha.
50 kronors happy ending? Nah, I'm not that cheap! :P
Tomorrow I'm going to have 4 random costumers in school.
Last one to massage today was with Annica my dear wife.
"The old lady" I call her... Because of her retarded and wounded body.
She's always having weird diseases, problems with muscles and so on.
So it was on her own risk that I treated her with the massage.... on the back and ass!
But nothing went wrong anyway haha.
She stayed over for a while and we had soup with "crack-bread" as we call it.
(Crisp-bread to be correct!)
Then we went to ICA and bought a mudcake.
Yes, it's always when I'm with Annica I eat cake.
Every single time! DAMN YOU! :)
I like to spend time with my Annica.
She makes me relaxed! (AND FAT) Haha...
That's all from me tonight....
It's been a weird day for me.
Lots of love to you all! :)
I then met my friends friend for the first time.
We started to talk about children, jobs and the "every day life".
When I saw her, I felt calm. She felt very confident and peaceful.
Me in the other hand felt my monkey mind all over the place...
She then told me that she worked as International Association for Human Values,
Yoga teacher etc for www.artofliving.se
Very interesting and inspiring!
So my focus was on her after that...
We talked about the Vipassana I'm going to in March and she's done the same but in India.
Told me about how much concentration, focus and energy I'm going to have afterwards.
So now I'm looking forward to it so much more!!
She is also pregnant and is going to deliver in march.
The "baby-talk" came up and I really feel different when it comes to babies now,
as I've felt before... So we continued the talk.
I assumed that the father of the baby was home.
I mean, who could break up with such a nice, cute and calm girl like her?
(But nothing suprises me today)
Well, apparently the dad allready had 2 children and didn't want any more.....
She then told him that if he didn't want any, they have to separate.
(Because she want a child and she's 32)
They separated after 3 ½ years together and then he changed his mind.
Said "I want a baby with you".
The same night she got pregnant, and then he got cold feets and left her after that.
He promised to be there for the child when it comes.
But she will be a single mum.
The first thing I have to say is....
I think that this woman is so god damn strong!
And I don't even know the lady.
She was so confident and everything she showed was love to herself and the unborned baby.
I was impressed and I thought that I've heard it all....
Most stories are the same in the end.
And today's generation are "used to" having separated parents.
Like me. Like most of my friends actually.
Of course I want a baby, but I'm also afraid of getting one.
But we'll see when the time is right.
First of all, THE man with the good genes would be nice to have hahahahha :D
But I have to say GOOD ON YOU single mums!
I finally understand how much and alot of courage it takes from you make such big steps in life.
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Yesterday I had 2 massages. Today I've done 2 as well...
I got my first tip today too.
And noooo - no happy ending! Haha.
50 kronors happy ending? Nah, I'm not that cheap! :P
Tomorrow I'm going to have 4 random costumers in school.
Last one to massage today was with Annica my dear wife.
"The old lady" I call her... Because of her retarded and wounded body.
She's always having weird diseases, problems with muscles and so on.
So it was on her own risk that I treated her with the massage.... on the back and ass!
But nothing went wrong anyway haha.
She stayed over for a while and we had soup with "crack-bread" as we call it.
(Crisp-bread to be correct!)
Then we went to ICA and bought a mudcake.
Yes, it's always when I'm with Annica I eat cake.
Every single time! DAMN YOU! :)
I like to spend time with my Annica.
She makes me relaxed! (AND FAT) Haha...
That's all from me tonight....
It's been a weird day for me.
Lots of love to you all! :)
Just .... moi.... again....
On my way out into the snow storm! :)
Playing with my ping pong ball :D
Having fun with mums wig!
My one and only man! :D I LOVE YOU MAN!
I time to write at the moment. I'm studying.
Good huh? haha... Yes, very good girl :)
No I mean WOMAN! Yes, I'm a whole lot of woman today ;)
Smell you guys later.... Shanti Out!
I've tried anyway!
Well... to start with, my bike had a flat tire for a while so I've been walking everywhere.
And since it's snowing, I've let it rested downstairs until I'll fix it.
I bought all the stuff to fix it now and I wanted to be handy....
I should start of by saying: WHERE THE F*CK is Fluff when I need him the most? ;)
I took of the flat tire to fix it.
Then I realized that the "fix-foam" that I bought,
I could just spray into the tire and "it would heal".... So they say anyway....
I tried to pump some air into it, but the pump didn't work so I walked
outside to the bicycle store and borrow their pump...
Which doesn't cost anything while the store is open,
but when it's closed it costs 10 kr ... for some air????
CRAZY!!! (It's like a parking machine)
I didn't have any cash on me, so I couldn't get any air into my flat tire.
The foam have spreaded around the whole tire and it's kind of "leaking"....
And doing weird sounds. Mission failed I guess?
I don't know if I have to change the whole tire to a new one,
or if I just can fix with some air tomorrow.
I will let my bike rest downstairs again....
It pissed me off a bit.
But when I came up from the basement again,
I found an old "FORTUNE COOKIE NOTE" on the floor.....
I took it up and it said:
"IT TAKES AS MUCH COURAGE TO HAVE TRIED AND
FAILED AS IT DOES TO HAVE TRIED AND SUCCEEDED!
Coinsedence?
It made me smile anyway! I know I did it anyway...
I just need a handyman to help poor little BLONDIE :)
And since it's snowing, I've let it rested downstairs until I'll fix it.
I bought all the stuff to fix it now and I wanted to be handy....
I should start of by saying: WHERE THE F*CK is Fluff when I need him the most? ;)
I took of the flat tire to fix it.
Then I realized that the "fix-foam" that I bought,
I could just spray into the tire and "it would heal".... So they say anyway....
I tried to pump some air into it, but the pump didn't work so I walked
outside to the bicycle store and borrow their pump...
Which doesn't cost anything while the store is open,
but when it's closed it costs 10 kr ... for some air????
CRAZY!!! (It's like a parking machine)
I didn't have any cash on me, so I couldn't get any air into my flat tire.
The foam have spreaded around the whole tire and it's kind of "leaking"....
And doing weird sounds. Mission failed I guess?
I don't know if I have to change the whole tire to a new one,
or if I just can fix with some air tomorrow.
I will let my bike rest downstairs again....
It pissed me off a bit.
But when I came up from the basement again,
I found an old "FORTUNE COOKIE NOTE" on the floor.....
I took it up and it said:
"IT TAKES AS MUCH COURAGE TO HAVE TRIED AND
FAILED AS IT DOES TO HAVE TRIED AND SUCCEEDED!
Coinsedence?
It made me smile anyway! I know I did it anyway...
I just need a handyman to help poor little BLONDIE :)
Inspiration à la Pete!
Concentration of the mind....
Well, my ping pong ball have been laying around in the appartment for a while now.
And I haven't done it everyday.
And yesterday I looked at my dear friend Petes profile picture!
And yes... It was inspiring to me...
I did laugh a bit because I don't really like my ping pong ball,
and it looks like Pete doesn't like it either
Or maybe he is just very concentrated!? :P
But I'm gonna concentrate and do it now.
Thanks to some inspiration from this picture. :D
Awesome Pete, thanks!!!
For those who doesn't know what I'm talking about...
It's a method of do some concentration of the mind.
Focus on the ping pong ball, close your eyes, take the ball away and open your eyes.
And finally you should see the ball in front of you, but it will take time.
Alot of time.
I just wish there were more time on a day to do everything I wished I could do.
No Yoga for me this morning.
I just had a really hard time to leave my bed when it's so cold outside in the morning.
Yesterday it was -14 degrees celcius.
Today it's just -5 C. Cooooooooooold... Brrrrrr....
But I love it. It's so pretty with the snow! :)
Just finished a massage on Malins ass this morning!
It's time for breakfast now, study and then fix my bike and then some more massage for Jenny!
This whole massage thing is going well.
And if I keep it up like this, I'll fix my economy ;)
later dudes. peace out!!
Well, my ping pong ball have been laying around in the appartment for a while now.
And I haven't done it everyday.
And yesterday I looked at my dear friend Petes profile picture!
And yes... It was inspiring to me...
I did laugh a bit because I don't really like my ping pong ball,
and it looks like Pete doesn't like it either
Or maybe he is just very concentrated!? :P
But I'm gonna concentrate and do it now.
Thanks to some inspiration from this picture. :D
Awesome Pete, thanks!!!
For those who doesn't know what I'm talking about...
It's a method of do some concentration of the mind.
Focus on the ping pong ball, close your eyes, take the ball away and open your eyes.
And finally you should see the ball in front of you, but it will take time.
Alot of time.
I just wish there were more time on a day to do everything I wished I could do.
No Yoga for me this morning.
I just had a really hard time to leave my bed when it's so cold outside in the morning.
Yesterday it was -14 degrees celcius.
Today it's just -5 C. Cooooooooooold... Brrrrrr....
But I love it. It's so pretty with the snow! :)
Just finished a massage on Malins ass this morning!
It's time for breakfast now, study and then fix my bike and then some more massage for Jenny!
This whole massage thing is going well.
And if I keep it up like this, I'll fix my economy ;)
later dudes. peace out!!
