ૐ It's just me ☼ Lee Lee ૐ ☮ ♥

This will be in Swedish today....
You can google translate it if you want to.
I'm lazy today ;)

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Idag var det dags att göra syntest.
Jag drunknade dock i snubbens ögon som hjälpte mig.
Jävlar vilka fina ögon, vi kunde inte släppa blicken.
Fina och blå, precis som mina! :)

Jag kan bli sjukt svag för ögon, det är min svaga punkt.
Jag kan falla direkt. (Men jag gjorde det inte iaf haha)
Man connectar ju på en helt annan nivå igenom att titta varandra i ögonen också.
Men hur länge kan du hålla din blick egentligen?
Jag brukar testa folk på den, många blir så nervösa.
Och det kan även jag bli. Speciellt om det är en vacker man! :)
Jag kan nästan bli fnittrig som en liten flicka om jag håller blicken för länge.

Men han fick mig dock till att köpa ett par glasögon av honom.
Han tog exakt dom brillorna som jag själv tittade på, hade han inte tagit dom så hade jag skitit i det.
Men det var nog meningen till att jag skulle ha dom då tror jag :)
Jag har gått lång tid med synfel och behövt glasögon så där utav har jag även fått brytningsfel.
Vi har då funnit svaret varför jag har huvudvärk och migrän ofta.
Så nu blev det att köpa glasögon på samma gång som syntestet
och fick ett par solglasögon med styrka i på köpet.

Blev ju avbetalning på detta dyra köp med tanke på att jag inte har pengar.
Det är mycket nu, men en sak i taget.
Försöker att bearbeta mig själv som fan nu och ta tag i allt gammalt som ligger och gror.
Träningen, Meditationen, Yogan och mitt nyktra tillstånd hjälper sjukligt mycket.
Det känns som om jag inte gör så mycket med tanke på att jag
inte har något jobb men samtidigt så har jag riktigt mycket att göra varje dag, med mig själv.
Varje dag är en utmaning och mitt humör går verkligen upp och ner även om jag är lycklig.
Fast sen har jag ju haft mens och varit ur balans senaste veckan, så det kanske är det?

Men att skriva tex. det hjälper mig fruktansvärt.
Sjunga också. Min röst börjar komma tillbaka, inte alls lika krasslig som förr.
Kanske tom kan få tillbaka min ordentliga sångröst? Who knows?


En annan sak som kom till min tanke igår var ju när
jag blev vän med min Yoga lärare Daniel på facebook.
Så fort jag såg hans bild (som är gammal, för det är inte så han ser ut idag)
så satt jag bara och stirra med öppen mun.
Utseendet är så likt, det är precis som en kopia.
Det har jag iofs sagt förr, men det var som att titta på honom igen.
Men en helt annan människa. Jag blev rätt förvirrad.
Och skulle det vara så att du skulle läsa detta så hoppas jag på att
det inte gör något att jag tog din bild för att visa andra.

En annan sak som jag har tänkt mycket på de senaste dagarna är att jag fortfarande sörjer.
Ja, hur hårt det än är och hur lång tid det än har gått så finns han där.
Inte alltid och ofta men när jag sitter hemma själv så dyker han upp då och då.
Jag försöker gå vidare och ja, jag måste säga att jag mår så fruktansvärt bra utan honom i mitt liv.
Och jag har träffat underbara människor sista tiden som verkligen har fått mig att må bra.
Människor som jag VET om att jag behöver.
Men djupt inuti mig så finns han, bearbetningen är jobbig pga
allt som hände och hur allt avslutades och jag har nog aldrig mått sämre (eller bättre) i mitt liv.
Så det är och har varit sjukligt svårt att släppa efter så pass lång tid.

Jag går sakta men säkert framåt och nu lägger jag all fokus på mig själv och mina mål.
Visst har dom legat där hela tiden, men ibland behöver man bara en break.
Som jag har sagt förr, den gamla Lee är död. En ny blomma kommer snart att blomma ut.
Men jag är inte ens halv vägs, men den dagen kommer.
Jag har ingen stress, bara lite dåligt tålamod.
Jag har hela livet på mig!





This is the goofball.... Lee Lee....
Look at my new leggings ;)

If you don't have a bucket list, I think it's about time that you make one.
I've had one for couple of years, and I slowly check them....
One by one. I have a long list but here is just a couple of them:

• Swim with dolphins
• Live in the jungle
• Surf
• See the pyramids
• See Borneos jungle and monkeys
• Waterskii
• See Chichen Itza in Mexico
• Take my drivers license
• Skii
• Party in Las Vegas
  
• Visit Studio 54!
• Backpack alone
• Let go of my fears
• Live on a fitness-camp
• Learn Spanish
• Work on a sailboat - Check
• Swim with or hold in a shark
  
• Do a Yoga course (still going)
• Become a Yoga instructor
• Do volountair work in another country
• Try magic mushrooms
• Skydive
• Learn salsa or another dance
• Be a bartender
• Drive a motorcycle
• Ride on a elephant
• Learn how to be alone
• Get a house with a big garden
• Do a roadtrip by car or motorcycle in another country
• Husband & kid(s).....

And I am still going. Slowly but I am moving forward and I am in no need of someone else.
No help or nothing to hold me back.
The only thing that is holding me back is money, like always.
I'm not even halfway through my journey, but I am putting my old life behind me.

I can't wait to moooooove to my own!
One more month...

Today Annelie sendt me a link of JENNA.
And she said, this could be you Lee.

First I thought... well, yeah right...
But later in the video I was laughing my ass off.
And it actually could be me.

And by that I mean in a funny & Goofy way, not in a bimbo way.
Just like the girl in the video. It's just for fun.
Maybe not the same hot body though, but I live with that.
And how did Annelie know that? HAHAHA.



She is so god damn funny!

I walk around in my underwear for no reason.
And I sometime stand on my head, lay on the floor with the legs in the air.
Touch my belly and walk around the apartment and just lay around (the apartment)

A little bit like this...
But not exactly the same body or underwear...
I wish though ;)

http://www.gorillamask.net/index.php?show_page=video&page_id=32110

I NEED A FUCKING BOYFRIEND!

It's so sad actually.

Excuse my language but it have been waaaay too long now.
Some times I almost wish I was a slut.

OH - BY THE WAY!
New blog coming up.
I've done one but I haven't decided if I am going to change this or the other one into english.

new adress: http://www.leepersson.blogg.se

More on that topic another day.
I am dead allready.

Peace.

Sepia / The Hulk / Black & White or just naturell??

PS! Where the F*ck did my boobs go?

Let's see how long the color is staying in the hair this time!



Bang is getting longer, letting it grow out now.
What do you think?

I like it anyway, and that's all that matters :P

Since all the electricity on Koh Phangan went out

because of the lightning and storm we had yesterday,

unfortunatly the internet stopped working as well.

 

So.... there I sat in the dark. What could I do now?

Nothing, absolutely nothing!

Wow, we humans are really depended on electricity.

That was my thought.

What if we were 100 years back in time right now?

Just sit and wait it out?

 

I mean, at home we sit in our appartment and whine,

watch a movie or tv and drink a cup of coffee while it's raining outside...

and whine a little bit more because it's raining. (always this whining)

Also because we are lucky to HAVE electricity where I live.

But here? BLACK! Darkness!

And no one was whining.....

 

I sat in the door to the reception on a chair and just looked out on the rain and lightning.

A dog came up to me and sat down beside me, trying to hide from the rain.

It was poring down, you couldn't see further then couple of meters away.

Total darkness. I saw some torches and flashlights.

The family that owns the building I live in were ready to leave.

They said that the electricity wouldn't come back.

What about me then? I have no light or candles in my room.

 

There were a german girl who left her raincoat on the bike,

had no lights on the bike and no flashlight

except from her phone (just like me).

So I went upstairs and I gave her my raincoat.

I will not bring it back home to Sweden anyway.

There, I made her evening a little bit better.

And mine as well because she was happy and that was all that mattered to me.

She wanted to give me money but I insisted

that she should just take it and said NO to the money!

 

Anyway, I got a oil torch from the family.

It smelled like gasoline.

That strong smell that my nose can recognize from miles away.

They said not to worry, it's just oil.

But I don't trust the Thai's when it comes to that really.

They mix all kind of weird stuff.

And they didn't know that the smell brought up traumatic pictures in my head.

I smelled it again, and again, and again... The smell was everywhere.

In a short moment I got a flashback.

In my head I was back at the hospital, under the zink of ice cold water.

Shivering and full of pain. Then I was back in real life again.

I putted the torch somewhere safe.

Went in to the bathroom to take a shower but I could still smell it.

I was thinking about the torch and suddenly there were a big noise.

Like something exploaded in the room, or something very very heavy fell down.

But there was nothing. Everything was on the same place, all plugs were safe

and the torch was safe and haven't moved a bit. Paranoid?

But slowly I took it out and putted it outside the door instead.

It felt more safe for me to have it there in some way.

One thing is for sure. I am very careful with fire nowdays.

And I learned a lesson not to play with it, ever again.

It's not easy to be a pyromaniac you know...

 

 

Yes, it's me. 1999.

 

I have to say like Charlotte from Sex and the city says:

- I've dated since I'm 15. I'm exsausted! Where the hell is he?

I know that he is out there somewhere. Question is where he is hiding?
And WHO is he? A medium told me that I've met him before...
And that his probably not Swedish.... Hmmmm....
It can be ANYONE with other words!

I don't want to listen too much of what they say,
but somehow it's on the back of your head anyway.
I wish I never went there the first time actually.

Where is my soldier on the white horse?
Yeah, like that's gonna happen. LOL!
It's still no ring on my finger. HAHAHA!!!!!

ZzzzzZZzzzzzzZZZzzzzzz

People-oriented and fun-loving, they make things more fun for others by their enjoyment.

Living for the moment, they love new experiences.

They dislike theory and impersonal analysis. Interested in serving others.

Likely to be the center of attention in social situations.

Well-developed common sense and practical ability.

 

Careers that could fit you include:

Actors, painters, comedians, adult entertainers, sales representatives,

teachers, counselors, social workers, child care, fashion designers,

interior decorators, consultants, photographers, musicians, human resources managers,

clerical supervisors, coaches, factory supervisors, food service workers,

receptionists, recreation workers, religious educators, respiratory therapists.

I've been waiting for too long now.
Actually, I've been waiting since summer 2008 for this.
My hair was so damaged from all the chemicals so I had to let my natural haircolor grow out.
I went from brunette, back as a blonde and since that day I just had to wait.
And wait, and wait. It's been growing fast,
but for me it feels like a life time and I just can't wait anymore.
I'm going nuts!
I need a makeover. I need something different.

So, anyway... I have 5 cm left, my hair is getting shorter and shorter.
I cut a little bit at the time.
I got my good shampoo from Paul Mitchell and if I swim too much
in a pool I've got special schampoo that takes away the green from the clorin.
That many blondes got from being to much in pools.
And since I love to swim, I'm one of them. I also loose alot of hair.
It really sucks, but I am lucky it grows fast in the sun and heat here in Asia.
I decided to cut of the 5 cm and maybe get extensions, perm it and make
myself a brunette again.

I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF BEING A BLONDE!!!



And I loved being a brunette.
When the color didn't fade away and I had to color it every week.
I also miss my bed in the background... alot...

And to paint... I have so many paintings I'm gonna do when I come home.
I've got so inspired here..
Oh, I can't waaaaaait for hanging some art on the wall!!!!!!


What do you prefer??? Send me a comment!
Blonde or brunette?

I feel like Towelie the Towel right now.



Totally fucking retarded!
I even started to unluck my safe, hitted the numbers (who has a beep)
And tried out to do the FUNKYTOWN melody!

I still remember my numbers though! :D

Wow. I wish I could write about how I feel right now.
I feel like I've been stabed in the heart 20 times.
I have never ever in my whole fucking life been treated worst like I been treated today.
This was it, it was way over the line.
So I'm puting down my foot and I am saying goodbye for ever.
It may be harder then I thought, but there was something that made it so easy for me.
Some people don't deserve to be around good people that's for sure.

From now on I'm a cold hearted bitch.

Fini,

Many strange things happened to me (and other friends) lately.
Not just here, even in other places.
Things that you can't explain.
These things have been inside my head for days now, and I am still thinking about it.
I just deal with it and accept it cuz I can't do anything more than that.
My thoughts are really strong, everything I think of is getting real.
It is really cool, but something is telling me to take it further....
If I only had the time to do it, I would.

I get my friends a bit paranoid, and even myself some times.
But now, I may know what's going on.

Wow, people always told me I am speciell. I guess I am.  =)

Hasta luego mi amigos.

It's sunday, had a great time with friends today.
Bicycling and ate pizza and watched movies. A normal sunday! =)
I am so glad I have my friends. I love them all.
Well, I am so tired from last night so I'm going continue my writing in Swedish.

So, for those who will not understand.
Translate it at http://translation.imtranslator.net/translate/default.asp

Snart är det dags.
Snart börjar äventyret.
Jag känner mig redo att bege mig in i det fria igen.
Att slippa känna sig fast och bunden.
Jag kommer att lyckas så bra, jag vet det.
Jag har starka planer här i livet och jag vet att jag lyckas hur som helst.
Jag vet om att jag kommer slå många med häpnad men snart är tiden min,
jag bara väntar på rätt tillfälle.
Det kommer att ske snart och jag bara längtar innerst inne.
Den där lyckan för vissa saker här i livet kommer snart.
Jag känner mig bättre och bättre, men vissa saker är inte alltid lätt.
Men jag är på väg åt rätt håll i alla fall.
Jag kommer att få en fantastisk framtid.

Jag vet dessutom att du vill ha mig. men det går inte.
Man rör ej förbjuden frukt!

Det är min tur snart. Snart. Jag väntar tålmodigt.

What is the problem with guys on Facebook?
They add you and they have no idea who you are.
I have my friends or people I´ve met on facebook.
That´s what it´s for, right?
 
Is facebook the new dating site???
Or what the fuck is the problem???
At least one guy add me a week. Ignore.

Well, it´s not easy being a celebrity. hahaha.
I am very close to colour my hair again to dark.
People just look at me as "A blond girl"
I fucking hate it.

An old pic. of my brown hair.
I want it back. :(



smell u later bitches

Mitt liv är underbart.

Mi vida es maravillosa
Jeta ime është e mrekullueshme
حياتي شيء رائع
我的生活是美好的
Mit liv er fantastisk
Mijn leven is fantastisch
Ang aking buhay ay kahanga-hanga
Elämäni on ihana
Ma vie est merveilleuse
Mein Leben ist wunderbar
Η ζωή μου είναι υπέροχο
החיים שלי הם נהדרים
Az én életem is csodálatos
La mia vita è meravigliosa
私の人生は素晴らしいです
Livet er herlig
من در زندگی فوقالعادهای
Moje życie jest cudowne Моя
жизнь прекрасна
ของฉันมีชีวิตมหัศจรรย์
Hayatım harika
Cuộc sống của tôi là tuyệt vời

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Lee goes international!
More than you think!!


IS NIIIIIIICE

I´m almost inside the bubble again.
I feel trapped. I don´t like it at all.
But I try to do something about it every day, but it´s hard.
Soon, I will be leaving again and I´m so glad....

So fucking happy!
But I guess I will get "home sick" while I´m away.
Doesn´t everybody get home sick while they are away?
I guess so.
But when you are home, you want to leave again.
I just know that I´m going to miss all my friends and all the people that cares about me.

I am so glad that I get to know all kinds of people around the world these days.
This year has been (so far) the best year in sooooooooo many years for me, in my life.
I don´t think I would be so strong as I am today, if it wasn´t for all the people I´ve met and helped me in life.
(with all kinds of shit)

My mood hasn´t been the greatest the last couple of days, and I guess that´s it.
It´s just me, been very moody.
Because since this sunday, when I had the worst hungover in years
I just been worst. Yesterday was crap, but just in the evening.
Me, Jocelyn and Johan went to KIVIK and their market. Just walked around like fools.
Almost like on a fieldtrip. I was so sick so I layed down in the car on our way back home and fell a sleep.
And today, I woke up 09.30 and I couldn´t move from the bed until 15.00
Talk about lazy. Or just really sick.

So I "woke up" and went down with Jocelyn to west harbourn, just chillin with some friends.
Went home, verry mad (I don´t know why)
And cooked some food and went to Sophies place.

So, I have everything, except a job. (and a boyfriend)
Wich I need, to survive later on. I mean the job.
But what do I want to do? There are so many things.
I´ve tryed alot, but nothing was for me.
I don´t really need a boyfriend, but I am very comfertable with having one.
But 5 months with not even a kiss from someone, shows that you can manage on your own.
And I think I did pretty good! I felt so much stronger then.



I found this picture on myself on Jocelyns blogg.
Haha, what a god damn hippie I look like. Gosh.

Well, this is all from me tonight.
Tomorrow I´m gonna be a "DOG SITTER" for Astrid.
I am her best friend. Sophie´s boxer! :)

I think there will be pictures on that :)
keep you updated later.

Ciao Ciao. Ta ta

Hello.

Goodmorning....A new day in my life.
And from now on, I´m one of those boring people that say NO.
(For some reasons)
I´m not one of them who are going to say "I WILL NEVER DRINK AGAIN"
Because, we all know that is not going to happen.
I don´t understand those people who say that......

But first of all, I will take it slow from now on.
With everything.
I am this little hyper girl who likes dramatic things all the time.
There should happen something all the time or else I get bored bla bla bla.
But now, I´m gonna change that.

First off all.... I can be so stupid sometimes.
Specially when I am drunk. I don´t think for one second. I just do it.
Jocelyn did the same thing as me, but now I understand how she thought at the time.
So we are just two stupid swedish blonds sometimes, I guess....

So I sure hope that everything is the same as before.
Or else, I will die.
Well, what happend happend and I can not make it undone.
I do not regret anything in life, I learn my lessons every time.
Now I will just concentrate on my health, what I eat and how to save money for my trip.
I´m a bad money saver, we all know that.



Well.... this is everything I got for now.
This picture is a selfportrait of moi.
Made by Marie Weinerhag.
Very good. It looks like me :)

It´s time for all the students to celebrate their graduation i Sweden.
Same shit every year. Same songs bla bla bla.
I miss it, I want to graduate again.
Great moment in my life, even if I was really really drunk.
(most of the whole day...)
smuggled in some booz to my school, and had so much fun I almost forgot to graduate.
HAHAHAHA (that is so me)
For me, this seems like it was yesterday.
But hmmmmm.... it wasn´t. It was 5 years ago.
What happened during these 5 years?
That is my class on the pictues.
All my girls. But what happened to them?
Yes, you´re moving on, in life.
But God I miss the crazy "school-life" I was living before sometimes.
But just sometimes. We had so much fun.
And we were so young and stupid haha :)

Time for bed.
Had a great sunday today. But I´m so tired.
Goodnight Sweden!!