First of all I have to say that I finished my "tapas".
I decided to do a tapas for myself.

And this monday I finished it.
It ment alot for myself since I haven't been sober for that long in years!
And today I don't even want to drink.
(Except from taking a glas of wine with nice company)

A tapas when it comes to Yoga is when you make yourself a promise to hold!
Like stop smoking, eat chocolate, drink alcohol or what ever it is....
Small steps or big steps, depends what ever you like.

I've been writing about this before in my blog.
Read about it here ---------------------- TAPAS!!!
And seriously, READ IT! It's pretty interesting if you haven't allready!

And it works very well because my willpower is getting better and better.
I just have to learn how to say no more often now.
And now I need another tapas to do.
I just have to figure out what to do for myself.

Another thing I have to say is

Couple of days ago I woke up from a dream.
A dream who wasn't the same as my "normal boogeyman dreams".
In this dream I had the power.
It was a part of the "good old Lee".

Like finding "the glow" in myself again. The little little little missing piece.
The good part of me who disapaired in Mexico somewhere.
The power I once had, but lost on the way. (When I started to be too nice)
When I woke up, that part of me was back.
And I feel strong again. Now it's my turn to turn things around again!
I don't like to lick someone elses asses, they should lick mine now.
*Evil laugh* Mouhahahahahahahahahaha....

The same day Malin asks me:
"You look different. Have you done something?
You are so pretty today, and you look so cute without make up."

"Well, thank you....blushing.... Yeah, I know what it is... I found the fire in myself again."
And she said... "Yes, I can tell it in your eyes. I like it!"

It feels pretty awesome and I like everything right now!
I'm such a good exemple that my mood goes up & down.
Why should I climb down the ladder when I can climb up?

Why sit here and whine about myself when people can have it so much worse then me?
And after the Yoga that morning, Daniel had some wise words of course.
And those wise words touched me alot that day!

Awakening! I seriously think I woke up!
To be around the sort of people who are awake, is good.
To be around the sort of people who are living
a life drunk or high for exemple, isn't the best maybe.
You easily can tell the different which one who gives you more energy!
Or just positivty.

I'm pretty satisfied with the sort of people I have around me today.
They are not many, but many of them I have a special relation with.
I know the once who can bring me up & down today.

One of them who can bring me up & down very easy, I told recently.
In response he said: Well... that's just good. That is really good.
Experience it and go into the feeling and try to figure out why and how.
The only one who can help you with that feeling, and what to do about it is yourself.
And I know he is right.

A while ago, I would be mad at him not being there for me.
But how can he, when I'm not there for myself in those moments?
And if I would be there for myself, I would not need him to be there.
Does this make sence?

But these type of things makes me think alot.
And I'm glad that I still have him in my life.
And all the others as well.

Time for bed. Ta ta! :D
No more boogey man!! WOHOOOO


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