ૐ It's just me ☼ Lee Lee ૐ ☮ ♥

During the Yoga this morning Daniel said many good words that made me think for a bit.
First of all he said that we are mirrors.
Others reflect ourselves, and the oposite.
And that is correct, that I allready knew.

But the way he said it made it so much more clear for me, I really understood it when he said it.
I now understand why some people can find it hard to be around me the same way as before.
Because they feel bad about themselves.
And I can find it hard to be around them as well.

And then there are some people who are still there and are happy,
even maybe have done a change themselves recently -
- These are the BEAUTIFUL people! he said.
I am one of them myself. This is the people with a good character!

Well... to the thing I want to talk about.....
He wanted us to stop thinking about the feeling and FEEL the feeling instead.
Don't think and force, let it go. Surrender!
How do YOU feel?
Well, in that moment I felt like a little child.
Totally open and vulnerable.

I went back to my childhood, and I was in that state during almost the whole class.
I realized that I haven't been myself (for real) for many years.
Sometimes it's hard for me to go back to who I once was,
because I don't really know how to act.
Because that act was in my past and not in my present.
But now it's back and it's now time to deal with everything.

This can be a bit hard to explain if you don't really know what I'm talking about.
Of course I've always been myself, but not deep within.
Now I feel the feelings like a little kid does.
I am present like I've never been before, but I go back in time.

This makes me so happy.
Happy as a little child.
During the relaxation today, Daniel started to play some piano music.
That gives me the double effect, somehow piano music makes me really sensitive.

So, the result was that I started to cry (but very discrete).
For many many years I "hated" piano music, but I realized it was because I was afraid.
I was afraid to get vulnerable and open.
But the reason why I cried was because I was happy.
I was happy that I've found my way back to LIFE & LOVE.

And also going back MANY MANY years to deal with
those things I weren't able to deal with myself in that age.
So, I do my own therapy today.

And I had to hug Miche for a long time after the class.
That felt good. I love hugs. Real hugs.
He laughed a bit because I don't think he knew
how to handle me when I asked for a big hug.... Haha.

AND I HAVE TO SAY THAT IF YOU GUYS KNOW ME,
YOU WOULD NEVER THINK OF ME AS A SHY GIRL, RIGHT?

BUT HERE IS THE TRUTH... I AM SHY, AND MORE SHY THAT YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE.
Why do you think I've been drinking so much before....?
It's an easy way out! But hey, news flash - LIFE AIN'T EASY!!!
It's not something I like myself, but now you know that I am not a bitch,
I am just laying low because I am shy!

This is it for me at the moment!
Peace out