ૐ It's just me ☼ Lee Lee ૐ ☮ ♥

I wish I had someone next to me.
And not just someone. The one.
But who is the one then?

I don't know who he is. Or do I?
He is the one I can be silent with.
Be in my own little quiet place, but still have the one there.
The one who takes care of me when I'm sick.
Kisses me in the forhead and holds my hand.
Wipes my tears when I'm sad and holds me at night.

But he makes me laugh. And we laugh together.
Being silly and having fun together, in the same time I want to explore.
Explore life, the world and I want to share as many memories as I can!

Life is suppose to be fun and loving. So what else is better?
Right now in this moment I wish I had that one next to me.
Playing me a song on a guitar while I'm laying in the bath and feel sick.
That would make me feel better. At least for my soul.

The one is out there somewhere. But I'm done searching.
I'm afraid. Afraid of being hurted again.
There you have it. My heart has been broken too many times!

I give up. I'm letting go, and see what comes to me this time.
I'm tired of making the first move / step all the time.

My soul is feeling sick. I think my soul is falling in love.
I don't know if I'm able to handle that at the moment.
I don't want to end up in that black hole again, so I won't let myself.
Not now, not yet.
But I'm staying positive anyway!

What if it ends up like I felt it did once before?
No.... It can't be.....I'm just nuts.

Well, anyway... I'm sick today as I said before!
First migrain in a loooooooong long long time.
No pills, just sleep, bath and throwin up. Nice!

You understand why I want a boyfriend at the moment huh?
Someone I can lay on the chest... and just snuggle...
Just be, here and now.
Feel the heartbeat. Feel the soft skin and smell.
Breath together and connect with eachother.

What ever you do, don't push me away, cuz when you do....
I will leave you in peace. And may not return.

I'm taking a step back. I'm afraid.
I can't.

Over and out