ૐ It's just me ☼ Lee Lee ૐ ☮ ♥

I know I've been bad at my blogging lately but I have so many things on my mind
and I want to write more then I should but I don't know how I'm going to express myself,
without that it sounds wrong or weird.
I want to choose my words visely.

I feel good. I am happy and greatful to be where I am today.
But I noticed that I have so many mixed feelings.
And when I'm not satisfied with myself, I can't control my feelings either.
Feelings I am afraid of and don't want to experience again.

I don't want to feel that sort of pain again.
The next time is going to be harder for me but I can't blame anyone.
The only one to blame is myself.
But I'm not crying over it, I'm happy because it happend.

Everything is a experience...
An old part of myself that is hard to let go of, keeps popping up from time to time.
It's harder to deal with it here back home then it was when I was away.
And I now understand why I drank so much as well (earlier).

Then only thing I look forward to right now is next friday when I start the Yoga again.
So I can start over again and get on track.
Focus and concentrate on myself again.
Even if I am detoxing and doing cleansing I've been so unfocused.
I felt good as hell when I woke up and I had alot of energy.
When I walked down to MALMÖ FESTIVALEN (that started today)
with beautiful Joel, he felt a bit "off track" and since I easily sense compassion
and get influenced by others easy, I feel like a big pile of poop at the moment.

I was suppose to try slackline with him and his roomies too, but I walked home instead.
So now I'm laying on Annicas green carpet and whine my ass off for nothing.
It's just old feelings that is coming up inside my head that I can't control.

Now I really wish that I had someone to talk to and that I could get a big hug.
It's now time to finish my painting...............

Ta taaaa