A thought...A gift...

Sometimes I wonder if I have a gift.
Well, I think that all people around the world have a certain gift somehow.
I think that I have a deeper gift. I can´t explain how, cuz I don´t know myself.
Couple of months ago a wise man that I dated back then,
told me that I just have to control my mind.
I couldn´t back then, I was just  lonely and sad inside. But I grew stronger everyday.

My mind focused on things I never focosed on before.
Like another part of my brain I just found out I had. (sounds weird)
Yesterday I had this wonderful feeling in my body.
When I came home, I had this déjavús again. Many of them.
And at Johans place to. I am more openminded now compared to before.
It´s like you know, but you can´t put your finger on it.
The same with my dreams. I have to start writing them down again.
People can belive me that I am crazy, but I belive something else.
Maybe I am crazy?
I can have a feeling like I´ve been there before.
Maybe in a dream, maybe in another life, another dimension.
Who knows? I can´t tell you.

I had a dream that one of my friend got hurted really bad.
So I hope that he is allright.
One time when I was at a fortune teller, I wrote everything down.
I found the papers the other day. And this was years ago.
Everything maked sense, but something was missing.
Someone beside me. But I know my time will come soon.
I don´t really have time for it now anyway.
Just miss to cuddle with someone, and who cares about me.

I think that everything happens for a reason.
I have a good karma right now, and it´s just me who can control it.
My life ended up absolutely perfect.
I got a new room in a appartment with wonderful guys, like I always wanted.
I gave away my cat, maybe I didn´t want that. But I think that was the best thing to do.
But I still miss her like a mother fucker.
I got a new job in the restaurant business, like I wanted.

It´s amazing, and I am so lucky.
So, look at everything I´ve done during the last year.
My checklist is almost empty by now.
I went to Mexico and Vegas.
I swam with dolphins,
skydived,
hold a shark,
almost got married just for fun in Vegas,
worked as a bartender,
sailing in the Caribbean
went to a stripclub....
And the list goes on.
But every part I just wrote down. Was a "TO DO" list.

I met the most talented, amazing and friendliest people ever,when I was on my trip in Mexico.
That made ME even stronger. And the best thing I ever done was to stay in Mexico alone.
The whole trip changed then. It was like I´ve been to two trips. 
I ordered a backpack yesterday, to have when it´s time for me to escape from Sweden and never come back.



More to come about my thoughts another day....
This picture. It feels like a dream.
Have I been there? It was to good to be true.
I just woke up and .... hmmm... Have I?

..Oh.. I´ve got a cold... Gah...

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