ૐ It's just me ☼ Lee Lee ૐ ☮ ♥

Now I surrender.
I surrender to everything.
Today is one of those days when you wake up on the wrong side.
I haven't got enough sleep last night and I woke up tired and cranky!
Everything was just "WÄ WÄ WÄ WÄ" like a baby.....
But I went up for Yoga class anyway and after the class
I thought that I would have more energy.
I WAS SO WRONG!
I was more tired, whining and had sore muscles.
Maybe it's my frustration that is annoying me?

When I came home, my dear wife Annica made a big breakast and
"PAPA HASSEL" came over and we had a tripple breakfast date together.
It was a long time ago I saw him so it was nice to be surrounded with his crazy & goofy humor!
That made me smile a bit even if I was sooooo tired.
After breakfast I left those two and went to bed again with my cold toes.
I woke up 30 min ago and it's now time for me to go and by glasses (or at least look at one).
Yes, I went to the optician yesterday and aparently I can only see with 50 %
I've noticed my bad eyes since couple of years ago
but I never thought that it would be THAT bad.
Maybe 80 % or so, but 50??????????

This explains my migrain and headaches for couple of years.
Problem solved maybe?
So, it's time for Lee Lee to get glasses!!!

Love is something that never gets boring and I don't think that you ever can talk too much about.

You can never love too much.

Love is the most important thing we have!

First you have to learn how to love though.

I thought I knew for so many years what love really was.

There are also many ways how to love.

Of course I experienced love before, but not in the same way like I do today.

And do you want to know why?

Because I learned to love myself.

It may sound ridiculous but I fell in love with myself.

And since that day I let go of my ego and

looked at myself and thought that I've been a fool for so many years.

I didn't realize the difference from LOVE  and the need of attention from others, satisfaction & fear.

 

Now I practically have a smile on my face all the time and it feels like I am in love all the time.

I am in love with everything and everyone.

ALL WE NEED IS LOVE!

Like the old saying: You can't love someone before they love themselves.

It is true. And keep that in mind!

I had this message on my board the other day from Annica.

Even if I don't do the dishes every day, she loves me.

As much as I love her. I don't think we ever had a fight, and that is friendship!

Why fight when there are so many other things to worry about?

Like I said in a earlier blog post, I think that you meet people that reflect yourself.

I keep all the loving, open-minded and people who can let go of their ego close to my heart.

You have to surrender to get something.

I also feel a lot of pain to “let go” of many of my old friends,

but when you realize that they are not your friends any longer,

there is no need to be bound anymore.

It's just time to move on and let new positive energy in to your life.

Even if you will have your memories there, you have to learn how to LIVE and LOVE TODAY!

Not tomorrow or the next day, NOW!

But it's not always easy, you have to work hard with yourself.

And of course everything has a dark side.

I am not even half way myself. Far away from perfect!

But I'm doing pretty good today.

And of course you can loose the balance and energy in your body and feel weak.

When everything is shit and everyone is assholes and idiots who does not understand you.

“Every saint has a past” is the best quote I've heard today!

I don't want to sound like I am better then anyone else or something.

I just have more understanding today and I love more.

 

But once you understand and realize this, you can slowly come back again.

When you are ready and if you are strong enough to let go of your past.

Also the Yoga made me realize soooo many things I never had realized before.

And I am not a bad Yogi only because I stop because Yoga has it's ups & downs.

When I arrived home, I stopped because I was not ready to do it 100 % like I did in Asia.

The culture is different, I am not alone anymore and this is my home.

My normal life and I have those “normal” stuff I have to do, my everyday routines!

And let's not talk about how to behave with old friends.....

“Nervous” is a good word for my behaviour and it's not until NOW I can relax.

And since it have been harder then I thought to come back home and continue a

“NORMAL” life after what I've been experienced back there, is NOT easy.

 

But I am so glad that I started yesterday and finished the initiation.

The things Daniel is teaching is almost the same as I did in Thailand.

so when I've heard the same stuff I've heard before,

I just smile and I enjoy it with so much love, peace and harmony inside of me.

This is what I love. This is what makes me happy and I never never want to stop doing Yoga!

Yoga is my life.

PEACE LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING!

Today I "started" my first real day at the Yoga center Kendra
(which means center in sanskrit ;))
Up at 06.00 and started at 07.00 - 08.30
Me and Miche decided to eat breakfast together after
the Yoga and when he had left Leon on the kindergarten!
On the same street where I live they have a nice café namned Simpan.
I've never been there before but it was pretty cozy and nice :)

Later we went to Pappas and bought some tea.
I went home and changed and pick up my credit card which I forgot at home.
Then I went to town again.
First alone then I met Jan for 5 minutes and then Annica came
and we had lunch together. Mmmmmm - Salmooooon salad :)



I found a nice bag for my Yoga-mat :)
2 tops (black & white), jeans west and a grey cardigan.
(yes, autum is here allready)
Wallpaper paste, 4 white candles, 3 brushes and some acrylic paint.



And the best for last:
Coconut perfume from Hawaiian Tropic and body butter also in coconut.
So now I have the perfect sweet coconut skin :)
Smells sooooo good!
Yum yum, I want to eat myself....



Damien Rice.... <3

If you don't have a bucket list, I think it's about time that you make one.
I've had one for couple of years, and I slowly check them....
One by one. I have a long list but here is just a couple of them:

• Swim with dolphins
• Live in the jungle
• Surf
• See the pyramids
• See Borneos jungle and monkeys
• Waterskii
• See Chichen Itza in Mexico
• Take my drivers license
• Skii
• Party in Las Vegas
  
• Visit Studio 54!
• Backpack alone
• Let go of my fears
• Live on a fitness-camp
• Learn Spanish
• Work on a sailboat - Check
• Swim with or hold in a shark
  
• Do a Yoga course (still going)
• Become a Yoga instructor
• Do volountair work in another country
• Try magic mushrooms
• Skydive
• Learn salsa or another dance
• Be a bartender
• Drive a motorcycle
• Ride on a elephant
• Learn how to be alone
• Get a house with a big garden
• Do a roadtrip by car or motorcycle in another country
• Husband & kid(s).....

And I am still going. Slowly but I am moving forward and I am in no need of someone else.
No help or nothing to hold me back.
The only thing that is holding me back is money, like always.
I'm not even halfway through my journey, but I am putting my old life behind me.

I can't wait to moooooove to my own!
One more month...

As I've said before, I think that everything happens for a reason.
I think that you will attract people that are more like yourself.

But be careful what you wish for.
Ask for it and it will be given.

I don't know how many times I've done this in life,
but no matter what - sooner or later I get it.
And I am happy with where I am today, even if I've been lost in the forrest for a while.
But like I've said, be careful. Think first, act later.
You know yourself deep within and what's best for you!

If you are happy, you will meet happy people.
If you are depressed, you will meet depressed people.
You meet people that reflect yourself in a way.

Since I started to think differently and live with more love and no fears,
I learned to open up to others and the result is amazing!
But it also took me years of practise and understanding.
I am so thankful for all the help I've got and all the friends that supported me,
when I needed it.
And I am still so thankful for the man I won't mention by name in my blog,
that helped me change my life with supporting me with the Yoga!

Not long ago (couple of weeks) I discussed with my dear
friend (and wife) Annica about humanity and just people in general.
I mentioned what I wanted and needed in my life to feel good.
But what I need is very hard to find here and I told Annica that I started to loose hope.
Since it have been hard to come home to old and bad habits and friendships.
I had no idea how to act or what to do....

But I know myself and I will never loose any hope because I know that somewhere out there,
maybe just around the corner of my street, my hope is walking around maybe looking for me?

I've been home for 3 months now and about 2 weeks ago I almost hitted the wall again.
Until I met someone that were exactly like this person
that I've been looking for, that me and Annica talked about.
I am not talking about searching for a boyfriend or anything like that.
(If that love comes, it comes. I want it to come to me because I am too tired of looking for it)

But I talk about the type of energy that I need to be surrounded by to feel good and happy.
And I got it served on a silver spoon.
He practically walked into my life and gave me power and
energy again to kick myself in the ass again.
So since that day, I've been sober from everything that can numb my strong feelings.
I want to be present, I want to live and I want to experience life to the full.

Without saying a word to me, give me any lectures or any attention in that way I am used to,
I sat there and listened to this person, being himself and just talked.
A very STRONG, positive, beautiful and special person.

I told Annica about this person yesterday.
She looks at me and said:
-  Lee...... This is exactly what you need.
And it sounds like that he is what you've been asking
for since the last time we talked about this.

Without knowing it or realizing it, it is true!
And that is why I am writing this blogpost about it today.
"ASK FOR IT AND IT WILL BE GIVEN".

And I don't even know this person. Yet.
But I am looking forward to get to know him better.
This is a person I need in my life at the moment.
And I think that I need all the positivity and energy to relax and center myself again! :)

I respect strong people alot!

Peace out!

Now when I am home, so many close friends leave.
And what can I do about it more then be a bit sad?
Nothing.
I am glad that they are doing something good in life and took "the" step and did it.
So the only thing I can do is to be happy for them
and hope that they ONE day will come home!
I did it myself and now it's their turn.

I am not talking about only ONE person but a couple...
But the one I mention now is FLUFF, that is one of the best guys (friends)
I have at the moment. :)
His heart is bigger then many guys I've met even if we step on
eachothers nerves from time to time.
But he is still always there, no matter what!

I know I can be a pain in the ass too.
But I can actually TALK to this guy about anything and I think that's what you have friends for.
I love this guy alot (as my friend) and I'm going to miss him alot :(
Many people who knows me, knows that I like to talk and discuss, have different opinions etc.
I analyse, research, think and try to see things from another perspective then my own.
Then I try to understand, love, feel compassion etc.

I am always (or try to) be a helping hand. And try my best.
And that's why I think it's always interesting to talk to Fluff.
Because we can talk for hours, in both good and bad but never take it too personal.

I wish that more people could open up and talk.
Have more understanding for humanity and LOVE more!
I've been (or I am) a bit secret with my own private life if you don't know me that well.
But when you show interest in to get to know me, I will let you in.
But only if you are here to stay! :)

Many people gets the wrong picture of me very often.
(And that's pretty sad)
But I show them a good and positive side really soon, so many people will get suprised!
And that's good (I hope?)

Today I'm gonna empty Fluffs apartment on his flowers and paintings.
The paintings I'm gonna take care of when he is away :)
And the flowers are all mine.
And I have to thank ELIN on this one who borrows a car for me.


I have to take care of my friends who shows to be REAL friends.
Give and take.
It's all about LOVE and now I understand that maybe I have to say goodbye to some more.
It hurts inside of me to take that step because many people
have been a big part of my life for such a long time.
But when you realize that the friendship is not from both sides I have to let go.

I cry a tear for you....

But as they say: when one door is closed, many more is open!

And I also have to say that my new friend Joel is a fucking fantastic and beautiful person.
If it weren't for Tommy, I never would have met him.
But everything happens for a reason, that's what I believe.

Now it's time for a cup of tea. It's fasting today!
Sweet.

Take care amigos that is still there!

Instead of wondering about those annoying feelings I had
I decided to let everything go and just be HERE and NOW.
And I accepted it and I felt stronger in a way too.

My day have been a really great day even if the rain was poring down today.
It started with a breakfast with Nova and then Fluff came over because he was bored.
We later took our bikes down town and met Herdman for a minute or so.
I then left Fluff too and went to buy some birthday gifts.

I met Lina and we had lunch on the festival.
Eco Peanut-burger! :)
And then we went to Lina and had coffee.
I later went to see the guy I'm gonna change apartment with and signed his papers.
Went home to change (because of the rain).
Met Joel and his friends, Marcello, Malin and went to see the concert with "HELT OFF".
Next to us stood Max, Dollan, David & Martin.

So the area was full of friends.
And I was happy and smiling and dancing.
My heart was singing loud and clear, accept that no one heard it.
Just myself.
After the concert me and Joel went to his place and
drank some tea and were hanging out with his friends.
A very nice morning / day / evening / night!

And the detox is getting better and better
(accept from some churros and donuts I ate on the festival today)
Tomorrow it's time for a day of fasting.
Water and tea only and this time I have to do it.
I can't wait until I start the Yoga on friday!!!!

This is my day, and this is what made me smile today.
I love the people that surrounds me.

Good night Malmö and the rest of the world
Peace and Love

Part of the purification is to let everything go and be satisfied with yourself.

I can say that I am happy today with where I am in life, but you have your days.

Sometimes it can take days of detoxing and suddenly you feel like shit,

The only thing you want to do is to get drunk or take something else

to numb yourself and that feeling to make the day.

And to be happy again.

 

You also feel like everyone else around you are idiots.

Your ego is getting higher and higher and then only one you think of is yourself.

That is when you have to be strong and say NO!

I am glad I can say no today even if it's hard for me,

But it's a part of the game.

 

That's why I stayed home yesterday (friday). I know myself by now.

It's confusing with all feelings and weird things going on inside of my system.

Just don't let it take over and be stronger then your mind.

Even if it feels like SYSTEM OVERLOAD sometimes,

deal with it, feel it and let it be.

If you give up, the next time will be harder then the first time.

(just a reminder)

 

Be greatful. Be thankful. Be careful.

Feel compassion.

And best of all...... NEVER STOP LOVING! Never.

Love is all we've got :)

No time to write so much so I just have to upload the video.

It's an oldie, but it's a goldie.
No matter how many times I listen to this song, it's still good.
year after year. And the music video as well.

And yes, I want to fall in love... :)



Next song: U2 - With or without you....

Over and out. Have a great weekend buddies, ta taaaa.

Peace, Love and understanding

Beautiful Joel



Tommy and Joel at KB....



The sign says "NICE", so I guess I am :)



Pinchy is dead???

I know I've been bad at my blogging lately but I have so many things on my mind
and I want to write more then I should but I don't know how I'm going to express myself,
without that it sounds wrong or weird.
I want to choose my words visely.

I feel good. I am happy and greatful to be where I am today.
But I noticed that I have so many mixed feelings.
And when I'm not satisfied with myself, I can't control my feelings either.
Feelings I am afraid of and don't want to experience again.

I don't want to feel that sort of pain again.
The next time is going to be harder for me but I can't blame anyone.
The only one to blame is myself.
But I'm not crying over it, I'm happy because it happend.

Everything is a experience...
An old part of myself that is hard to let go of, keeps popping up from time to time.
It's harder to deal with it here back home then it was when I was away.
And I now understand why I drank so much as well (earlier).

Then only thing I look forward to right now is next friday when I start the Yoga again.
So I can start over again and get on track.
Focus and concentrate on myself again.
Even if I am detoxing and doing cleansing I've been so unfocused.
I felt good as hell when I woke up and I had alot of energy.
When I walked down to MALMÖ FESTIVALEN (that started today)
with beautiful Joel, he felt a bit "off track" and since I easily sense compassion
and get influenced by others easy, I feel like a big pile of poop at the moment.

I was suppose to try slackline with him and his roomies too, but I walked home instead.
So now I'm laying on Annicas green carpet and whine my ass off for nothing.
It's just old feelings that is coming up inside my head that I can't control.

Now I really wish that I had someone to talk to and that I could get a big hug.
It's now time to finish my painting...............

Ta taaaa

Cleansing, purification, detox, yeah you name it....
I start now. DAY ONE - CHECK!
From now on my "summer vacation" is over.
In about 2 weeks from now I start the Yoga again, and I want to start detoxing NOW!
I feel fat again, I gained weight again thank's to my "holiday" at home.
Being lazy, happy and a bit stressed. And alot of food without exercise.
It takes alot to come back to "reality" again.

I've felt like shit lately when it comes to weight, exercise, yoga, meditation,
concentration or just focus... Or what I call it: Vacation!
So, now it's time to start over again.
I kicked myself in the ass since this weekend.
A person inspired me alot to get into it again, so I am very happy at the moment.
But still not "my best". I work hard with myself every day.

Today I've met the guy I'm gonna change aparment with and signed some papers.
Feels good as hell. - CHECK!
Then the whole cool gang will live on the same street.
Friisgatan is the place to be then :)

I've also ate really good home made food today with some good company.
Indian food. Oh it was sooooo yummy in my tummy!
Then I got a home made chai tea with some chocolate almonds (Bonus points)
A movie and then a walk in the park.
Great night. :)

It's now 03.20 and I think I need to go to bed before I pass out on the sofa.
I decided to go to Stockholm next week!

C YA

The touch of the skin. Gentle and soft.

You can touch it so gentle that it almost tickles and give goosbumps.

Look deep into my eyes and in the same moment you

normally look somewhere else because it feels like you are

getting "too much", shy or showing too much of yourself, let it be.

Look and stay connected and feel the connection.

Feel that the rest of the world does not excist.

There is nothing else around us, just you and me.

Breath at the same time in the same pattern, that's when you feel it.

Open up, don't be afraid.

 

And if so, feel safe and don't worry.

Because it's okey. Trust.

 

We are all connected, we are all one!

 

It's time for some meditation and Yoga.

I've been way to lazy lately, and I feel it in my body.

I don't feel good at all :(

Specially not after drinking this weekend... But damn what a great weekend!

I'm going back to memories when looking at old pictures.
Friends I've met during the years.
I like looking at pictures. They say more then 1000 words.
Strong emotions for the humanity.
I think that every single Swedish person is a spoiled brat (including myself)
comparing how the rest of the world live.
Specially after traveling in Asia.

I've met people from over the world but not so many i felt strong connection with.
But one of them I always will remember is my friend Joey from Malaysia.
I worked with this guy on the boat RAJA LAUT!
He is working hard for his money, just like the other guy Aldam.
And they are proud of what they do, and they do it with love.
He gave so much love and creativity into his food and work.
The food is more like ART.
The food blew me away even if it was so simple.





Joey to the left...

I don't know but this is a person that no matter how bad I felt at the time,
this person I will always remember being a helping hand in many situations.
And we had alot of fun as well. Joey, I miss you man!!!

The same "work feeling" can never be the same in Sweden.
We want everything to be easy and go fast.
Coffee breaks, longer lunch, less work, etc. etc.
In Asia they hardly know what breaks is.
I think that Sweden is becoming more and more like the US.
But in a muuuuuuuch better way. Just very "modern".

When they finish what they do and gives money to their family,
put food on the table etc, then you feel a sort of joy spreading around and then
you see a face of someone that has completed something good.
They feel better themself without any complaining.
That I respect alot.

I respect people that prays alot.
And specially when they pray for the food they are about to eat.
(Happend to me once in Sweden just couple of days ago)
I was in shock. Wow!

Where has all the love gone?
Stop stressing, relax and take a breath for once.
And enjoy your day.

And..... Do not WORK to live.
Live your work, and love it too!

Love more. Live more.

Something happend to me this weekend.
I don't know how to explain it but I am glad it happend.
I've connected on another level and it was exactly what I needed.
This normally never happens to me because I analyze
alot and lay low when it comes to personalities of new people I meet.

But a calm feeling came over me and I've been so relaxed.
A feeling of joy and hope came to me and inside of me the sun were shining.
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
Sometimes I can connect with people I've never met before and suddenly I meet them.
And they SURE can take my breath away....

Beliefs and understanding on a different level that I only thought I was aiming for.
And then you meet someone who has the same goal in life.
I was so close to loose it, but now I have the hope again.
Pretty sick for me to write this right now, but I don't care at all.

I have nothing to hide any longer. I am like an open book.
I have no idea where I am at the moment.
My head is blurry, and it's a wonderful feeling.

I fell from the tree....when I reached for the apple.

All I think of when I hear this song is you Adeline!
I miss you so much and I wish I could come and visit you NOW!
I listen to this song on my Ipod alot and you are on my mind every time.
The song makes me smile, birdy!

I wish we could sit on the beach in Mexico and enjoy playing this song all over again.
And again....

Some day.... some day....
I will go back there.......

I think I attract different kind of people around me today then I did before.
This week I've had new people around me.
I like it, because some of the people I've never met before and the feeling
I've got was relaxed and very easy to talk to.
Maybe it can be because I've changed alot and then you just attract
other people you maybe never thought you would talk to earlier in life.
But this people I've met lately, I feel relaxed with and it feels like I've met many of them before.
They reflect parts of myself.
A sort of connection and understanding I can't explain.
Smart people. But I think many of them try to lay low. I love it.
Can't stand people who brag.

I met a girl, and I barely connect with girls normally, but she is like me.
It's sooooo scary, thoughts, believes, childhood, relationsships -You naaame it!
She is a goofball just like me! She feels like Lee Lee number 2! :)
Props to you!

I lay very low at the moment as well, there is alot of things inside my head.
There are no money to fly to Bordeaux to visit Adeline either at the moment.
I have to wait for over a month or so. :(
But the good news in this is that I finally have found myself an apartment to change.
Now the only thing is the paper work and to MOVE all
the things I have around whole Malmö, 1 october ! :P

But then I have a normal kitchen again, aaaaand a balcony & a walk in closet!
WOOOHOOOOO!!!
So let's just hope the guy don't change his mind! :)

This weekend I've got a visit. Actually looking forward to it ALOT!
It was years years years ago. And then we are going to a Crayfish party
(which we have in Sweden every year in August)
And drink our little snapps as well. It's going to be fuuuuuun! :)

I also met Sebastian from Helsingborg,
that I met in Bangkok and Langkawi couple of days ago.
Hade dinner with him and his friends.
It was nice to catch up again after 11 months :)

Today I am going to dinner with the couple that lives in my apartment and eat libanese food.
I think it's going to be a great time tonight as well.

And hopefully in late september or october I will move and then
I've got another visit from another country. WOHOOOO...

I have alot to look forward to, but one day at the time.
This year have been one of the best in a really long time!!!
I am soooo happy, even if I've burned my armpits with wax today hahahahahahaha

Once upon a time, there was a dumb ass!
This smart head forgets her wax in the microwave and it gets too hot.
She waits for it to cool down but it is boiling hot.
Since she have no patient of waiting, she puts on the wax inside of her sensitive armpit,
even if the wooden stick says "NO!" with big letters...

She screams and takes it away fast.
She did not get any hair, it just burned her skin.
It hurted her and she is now in alot of pain.
She blows on the wax, to make it cool down a bit more.
There after she puts on the wax in the other armpit and does the same thing over again.
She is now in alot of pain in both armpits.

This dumb ass didn't learn from the first mistake.
And now she is sitting with 2 bottles of ice cold water
under her armpits to make them cool down.
The dumb ass name is Lee Lee.

Welcome back to Sweden, where everything is about money.

I am pissed off.
A person asked me this friday if I am disapointed at the grown ups when I was a kid.
And maybe that's why I am fighting against some things from my childhood.
My answer is YES.
And my answer is still YES today!

For whole my life I've respected the elders and the wiser more mature grown ups.
Why? They are just ego and stupid and exactly like everyone else.
What happend to the Love? And the love to themself?
I can't deal with weak people any longer. I want to grow myself, not nurse like a mother.

Evert time I do this, I get disapointed and realized that they are pretty
much the same as anyone else. We are all one, right?
Age is just a number, it's more about what you have inside your head.
You can be 45 or more and act like 12.

So it is true, you create your own world!

I love people with a big and smart mind.
I try and I do my best with everything and I never give up because I am a fighter.
Some people doesn't understand this and turn it into a negative thing.
Why can't you just be happy for me and support me becauce I feel good?
Instead of trying to make me feel bad, only because YOU are living a life you regret??
I've been home in Sweden for a bit more then 2 months, and of course things take time.

Life ain't easy and if you want to come anywhere in the world, you have to work hard.
Experiences and realization.
I think I am stronger then most people know and ever could imagine.
I don't need help, and I am absolutely not 12 any more.
Stop treating me like I am, when we are all the same.

I respect everyone the same today because the "WISE" older people just fucks me up.
I AM A 25 YEAR OLD GROWN UP!
Finally I came to a point and understood that NOTHING is about money anymore.
Of course there are hard times, but you can actually do something about it yourself.
You won't die, unless you are sleeping on the street.
But some people doesn't understand this.

This makes me sad and disapointed, really disapointed.
There is so much more in the world to worry about.
Once again I lost alot of respect for the elder and wiser grown ups.
Sometimes I wonder if it's just me that realize this?

I just want everyone to BACK THE FUCK OFF NOW and leave me alone.
I don't need someone who is on my back all the time.

Sometimes you connect stronger with some people then others.
For whole my life I've been really scared of opening up to certain people I don't know.
I want to be anonymous with my private life and for many years
I've played a roll to distract people from the real me.
Of course I don't open up right away, I take time.
But in the same time I learned to relax and talk to strangers.
Strangers I barely know, and this helps me bound more with the people I talk to as well.
Something in common.
Since I am a very deep and spirituell person,
I got to feel some sort of connection from someone who understands me.
But there are not many people I've met who understands me.

I am glad that I could talk to someone that listened to me yesterday.
It ment more for me that he will never know.
I really can't explain with words how it was and not to confuse or say to much about it.
But I recognized the feeling from somewhere else.
When I woke up, I had a text from the one I recognized the connection from.
It came as a shock to me, but in the same time I was glad.
But it was just a spooky moment, like it was something deeper with it.

If you guys don't understand what I am talking about.
Ask me. Because this is hard to explain.
I just needed to write it down and let it out from my body.

I go where the wind may take me now.
I am lost...... in translation....

Yesterday Sofie called me and asked if I wanted to go to Copenhagen with her.
Gather together some friends and go somewhere.
I'm not hard to convince so of course I said yes :)

Sounded like a perfect idea but in the end we ended up just the 2 of us.
It was not many hours that we spend there but it was more then enough.

We enterd a area with a CIRCUS from Spain.
There were alot of French people too.
There were costumes that you could borrow, lounge area, pancake stall.
Chai tea, bread and other types of food and alot of entertainment.

We missed the Circus show though, but we heard it at least.

I felt like a kid in Alice in Wonderland.
It felt like a fairytale and everyone was happy and smiled, there were no problems.
I liked the feeling and everyone talked to everyone.

There were a weird waggon with talking dolls inside and then there were the bearded lady.
The weirdest thing I've experienced in a long time.
I've never seen a REAL bearded lady before, she also was a bit like a fortune teller.
But she said she read energies and how you are etc, and not the future.

This woman was something special.
We stood in the rain with some other danish guys and ate some leaves that you use for cooking.

And then it was my turn.

I said nothing to her, she looked at my hands on both sides and then looked at me.
She there after told me how I was, what I liked, relationships, what my career would be like,
what interests I have and what I should do more,

how I've changed myself and what I'm looking for in life.

3 times during my palm reading, we got interupted.
First a bug, then some rain in the tent and then finally the electricity went out.
Maybe I shouldn't have done it?

But what she told me was exactly how things are right now at the moment.
I've been to a woman like this before and some of the things she said,
was exactly the same thing as I've heard before.
And by that I mean EXACTLY the same.....

Spooky.

I had a vision I've had before, how my life is going to be at that moment.

I saw my life flashing by my eyes, I saw myself in situations.

I can create my own world. It is true.

I know what I can do, and I will do it, but my problem now is just money.

But with time, money comes. I just have to work hard to get it.

Patient Lee, patient!!

There is so much love for all the people that I can't love just one person.
I love everyone on this planet and I think you should do too.
But the relationship to one single person is stronger, that is powerful.

She also told me about 2 men in my life that I won't mention by name.
But everything she said was so right and some things I knew allready,
but I just wanted to have someone else to confirm it for me.

The meeting were very special to me.

Sofie wasn't so taken away as I was,

so we continued to the place where they have the

"toilettes with the fish inside the roof" and found 2 norweigan girls.
Then after a while we went to 7/11 and I bought food and stuff for over 150 danish kroner.
Walked half way to the station and then took a bicycle cab for 2
(almost like a tuk-tuk)  to the station and then the train home!

That was fun. It's those small things you never do that is cool! :)

A weird night with many nice and mixed feelings.
I could go back to see the CIRCUS SHOW tomorrow, because we missed it.
It would be a perfect night for weird and cool pictures.
But sorry mates, no camera!

Everyone should experience what I experienced.
Adeline where are you now??

Lots of love to everyone :)

I don't know how my life would be without Knäckebröd.
I love this Swedish thing :)
In English: Crisp bread.
Or Mine and Annicas translation for it: Crack-bread!

Crack-bread, I LOVE YOU!!!

Once upon a time in Mexico....
I had 2 American friends that I spendt time with on the beach.
Suddenly we saw the man with the harp.
He came to us and of course he played for us.
KODAK MOMENT so of course I took up my camera and recorded the whole thing.
With a broken camera, so the sound is not the best.....
I requested GUANTANAMERA because I like the song.
The feeling from the commercial from back home is so nice,
and it's in spanish so why not??
But the commercial says "PANTA MERA"
Which means RECYCLE MORE in Swedish.

How sick isn't it to play a harp on the beach?
It only happens in Mexico. I love Mexico.

ENJOY!!

Since I was a kid I've always been interested in dreams.
How we dream and how we can control it and what happens to you.
I sometimes dream those dreams that come true after a while.
Places I visit that I have no idea where they are
and when I go to the other side of the world, I visit those places.
And people I meet.

It's those things you can't explain to people what it going on.
I talked about this with a Yoga teacher in Thailand,
because we talked about LUCID DREAMING alot.
She have never met someone who had experienced something like I've done before.
It's like a déjavú, but in the same time not.
It's very hard to explain.

Since I watched INCEPTION last night, somehow I could control my dreams last night.
Except when it comes to one thing, and that is the "MAN IN MY DREAMS".
He is like my boogie man, but he is kind.
But he does things to hurt my feelings.
I wake up heartbroken every time I dream of him,
so in the end I don't really like the dreams even if I do.
It was the same in real life so I guess that's why.

But when I met him in real life, felt like a dream as well.
Sometimes I even have to stop and think about it and be sure it wasn't a dream.
Maybe he is just the man in my dream?
He have been there for over a year.
The dreams I have with him seems so real, so different and so many feelings.
He disapairs on and off, but he always comes back to me sooner or later.
Kind of with normal men haha.

I don't want him to be in my dreams anymore,
but in the same time this is my only time with him now.
And in my dreams I get so satisfied just to look at him, touch him, talk to him etc.
So I barely know what I'm doing in the dream and what it's about anymore.

In my dream today I looked at his neck and his hair.
And his bare tanned back.
The only thing I wanted to do was to touch it.
But I couldn't....



Will he stay or will he go?
Will I let him go?
Why is he still there?
Will he come back?
I am heartbroken from a dream.
Waking up with a tear in my eye.
How is that possible? It's not real.
Or is it?

Deep within I wish that I will never stop dream about him.
That's the only connection I have left.
Is it anyone who feels the same way I do?
Or have any stories like this?

SHARE IT with me....I want to know more about this !!!

Wow.
This movie actually was a great movie because I like those movies that makes you think alot.
This is something that interest me alot.
Dreams and how the mind works and what is real and not real.
This was a thumbs up and a great movie to go and see.
Thanks Elin for a great night with you and your mom. :)

I have a hard time for Leonardo Di Caprio but in this movie he was really good.
It was a really annoying end of the movie, but a good end where
you want to see more and you end up curious and wondering.
I like this kind of movies, to feed my brain and make me think more and more....

So, people.... If you want to go and see a good movie -
SEE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!

Ciao Ciao :)

My 3 red roses.
I worked with the picture a bit and this is now my wallpaper on my new phone :)

I realized that I feel good when I'm creative.
I mean really good, and I'm feeding my brain with alot of anti stress during the process.
It's like medicin for me.
I actually like my job alot because during work I can think of interior design
and what I maybe can be able to do with my own apartment and I
focus alot of how I can be creative in the best way.

I love interior design and that is something I burn for.
Same with music, bicycle rides and when I'm not doing that,
I take photos and play with them a little bit like this.
Or paint a picture of course. True artist :)

I still have a bit hard to read....
But somehow people are giving me books for free and other weird stuff...
So I maybe should start read now?

Food is also inspiration. Cooking makes me calm as well.
I think I've found my peace.
I am so happy with the life I am living.
Things are not perfect, they never are - but I enjoy every moment of it.
And I am happy and I can't stand negative people any more.



Otherwise I like to sit on rooftops and enjoy being high up in the air.
That's where I belong. On pink fluffy clouds.
I played with the colors on this one as well....



Rest in peace little rat. I brought you a flower :)
I saw the left overs from this rat the day after when the birds have
almost finished him and there was not much left accept from the skin....
Poor thing.

It's time for me to go and see a movie tonight.
It have been ages since I was at the movies.
I think that was the movie 2012 when I was in Langkawi.

It's also time to book myself a ticket to France soon.
I'm just waiting for my money then I'm of to Paris :)

Ta ta everyone.

I spendt 30 min writing about deep weird stuff.
And I wrote it in Word and when I was suppose to copy it I deleted it.
There were alot of text and when I deleted it I
tried to start to write it again but I forgot what I wrote.
It's never the same the second time so I just write this shit down in my blog instead.

No energy or focus to start over again, I am waaaay to tired.
Haven't slept much tonight.
I had a great day with Fluff today after work.
And I have to say that I fucking love his hair.
I can't stop touching it.
I can't stop loving it, I just want to fluff it all the time....
Chick magnet, for sure.
He loves it.
But I love it more. :P

Tomorrow it's time to get my hair done I think.
From tomorrow I will not have straight hair again....
This is what I've been waiting for. finally.

Otherwise I've been spending a day of lazyness after work,
sofa, pizza in the park, bicycling and then
hanging around the skate park, Stapelbädds parken.
Last night was crazy crazy nut nut.
No details, but it was fun. More fun than I knew I could have.
Thumbs up for the outside party with kompott, open air.
More music and dance to all the people :)

I found a pink mp3 player on a bicycle last night as well. Lucky me.
And on it was really cool, heavy underground hiphop and mostly black music.
Fluff was a little bit jelaus because some songs are so underground,
that some of them are really hard to get.
Now we are talking. + points!
I have to agree, some of the songs are really good. :)

Well it's time to go to bed.
Ta taaaa