Yoga day 16 - Fear!
I know I haven't been writing about the Yoga for couple of days.
But I had alot of things going on in my head.
And then the VISA run as well.
I started to think that it's something weird with me,
but somehow always when I wonder about some stuff
we take it up during our daily lecture we have.
I don't even have to ask about it.
It's like a normal reaction, different kind of fases you go through (!?)
I've felt alot of anger lately.
It's part of the purification.
Out with the negativity and in with the positivity :D
I've been pissed off for nothing and I think that everyone are IDIOTS!
I thought: This can't be normal?
From going to be happy and loving one day to hate everything the next.
I'm going nuts over here!
I also have NO NEED of more friends or socialize with someone I don't care about.
I choosed this of my own, but somehow it's like school again.
And I don't like the feeling.
I DON'T LIKE GROUPS, that's the thing!
With other words, I lay very low with the group of people in the course.
I'm grown up though, So I do my thing and I leave.
The only one I think is interesting in this moment, is our teachers.
Which I highly respect and listen to.
Somehow I like Laura alot, when I look at her I just want to hug her.
And Sofia too. I also guess it's because I learn something valueable from them.
I had a thought for couple of days and I asked Laura about it.
What to do AND How to do / react when I'm going home.
My only FEAR of going BACK TO REALITY is:
(With stress, miserable people, problems, normal living,
idiots, gossip, party, drugs etc etc.)
How I would react to this?
What if I go home and I just think everyone is a bunch of IDIOTS?
What if I am too nice to people?
I don't want someone to take advantage of me.
Would people understand me?
The old problems THEY have is still there because THEY can't deal with them.
I feel compassion. I feel like shit when other people feel like shit.
What if I feel like shit then?
Is this the time for me to speak up with family members for exemple?
Should I ignore all negative people?
Should I Change friends?
I mean, everything that I build up from the course -
All this peace, love, meditation, happiness, and pure positivity....
WHAT SHOULD I DO when I leave it?
Goiing back to a city like Malmö isn't the easiest either, if you don't work your ass off.
You have to be hard and cool in the same time.
Laura: Stay positive!!!!
And you will attract positivity and positive people around you.
And we are also gonna schedule a meeting and go through all this,
and some of the yoga you can continue with.
And YES you should change friends!
I THINK that she has been through a bit as well, and I think that's why I like her.
After all, she is from Brooklyn! :P
Our Yoga Hall.
This is everything I have for now.
It's time for bed.
Ciao.
But I had alot of things going on in my head.
And then the VISA run as well.
I started to think that it's something weird with me,
but somehow always when I wonder about some stuff
we take it up during our daily lecture we have.
I don't even have to ask about it.
It's like a normal reaction, different kind of fases you go through (!?)
I've felt alot of anger lately.
It's part of the purification.
Out with the negativity and in with the positivity :D
I've been pissed off for nothing and I think that everyone are IDIOTS!
I thought: This can't be normal?
From going to be happy and loving one day to hate everything the next.
I'm going nuts over here!
I also have NO NEED of more friends or socialize with someone I don't care about.
I choosed this of my own, but somehow it's like school again.
And I don't like the feeling.
I DON'T LIKE GROUPS, that's the thing!
With other words, I lay very low with the group of people in the course.
I'm grown up though, So I do my thing and I leave.
The only one I think is interesting in this moment, is our teachers.
Which I highly respect and listen to.
Somehow I like Laura alot, when I look at her I just want to hug her.
And Sofia too. I also guess it's because I learn something valueable from them.
I had a thought for couple of days and I asked Laura about it.
What to do AND How to do / react when I'm going home.
My only FEAR of going BACK TO REALITY is:
(With stress, miserable people, problems, normal living,
idiots, gossip, party, drugs etc etc.)
How I would react to this?
What if I go home and I just think everyone is a bunch of IDIOTS?
What if I am too nice to people?
I don't want someone to take advantage of me.
Would people understand me?
The old problems THEY have is still there because THEY can't deal with them.
I feel compassion. I feel like shit when other people feel like shit.
What if I feel like shit then?
Is this the time for me to speak up with family members for exemple?
Should I ignore all negative people?
Should I Change friends?
I mean, everything that I build up from the course -
All this peace, love, meditation, happiness, and pure positivity....
WHAT SHOULD I DO when I leave it?
Goiing back to a city like Malmö isn't the easiest either, if you don't work your ass off.
You have to be hard and cool in the same time.
Laura: Stay positive!!!!
And you will attract positivity and positive people around you.
And we are also gonna schedule a meeting and go through all this,
and some of the yoga you can continue with.
And YES you should change friends!
I THINK that she has been through a bit as well, and I think that's why I like her.
After all, she is from Brooklyn! :P
Our Yoga Hall.
This is everything I have for now.
It's time for bed.
Ciao.
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